My Queen
by Frolicking Bananas
Summary: AU: Jesse is crowned king of his country upon the death of his father. Not only does he have the responsibility of ruling his country, he also has to get married. Will he find the right girl or will he be forced into a loveless marriage?
1. My Queen

_**My Queen**_

I was looking down at the sea below me. The waves chopping way out, then crashing down on the shore. The little kids running away from the water as it crashed to the shore, like little sandpipers. There was only one word that I could use to describe the sea. Entrancing. I could stare at it for hours on end and yet it would only seem like a few seconds.

I folded my arms across my chest casually and leaned into the wall next to the window I was looking out of. It was a little jagged, but, then, so was my life. Nothing new there.

Oh, how I wish I was out on the water. It was an absolute amazing day for sailing. But, of course, I had to go to a meeting today, then a press conference. Sounds like fun, right?

I straightened up when I heard footsteps approaching behind me. Then I slowly turned around to see who was disturbing me in my only time of peace for the day.

It was just one of my servants. I could tell that they — my servants — thought I was a rather peculiar, always gazing longingly at the sea. They did not understand that it brought me peace, tranquility, which was something that my life seriously lacked now.

Ever since my parents died, there has not really been much peace or happiness around here. My sisters and I have been coping, but its still hard. Especially if you are the one that has to rule an entire country. But let's not go there.

The servant cleared his throat and I looked up from where I was staring at a little spot on the floor. "Sir," he said genially, "Parliament has requested your presence."

I nodded, showing him that I would go. If I did not go now, they would only just bother me later. Might as well get it over with.

The servant started toward the conference room, and I followed silently behind him.

I was properly seated at the end of the table about five minutes later. A few of my subjects, followed by the most important members of Parliament, began filing in.

Once seated, the Prime Minister began talking. "Your Majesty," he addressed me, "It has come to our attention that your twenty-first birthday is nearing."

I nodded, fully aware of this fact. What I was not aware of, however, was his point.

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, this country has not really been properly ruled since your father was king — God bless his soul."

I did not take offense to it. I never wanted to be a king or any royalty for that matter. Actually, I always wanted to be a doctor, help people, but I doubt that would ever become a reality.

"Now, I know this is mainly because of your inadequate training prior to your father's assassination, but that cannot be fixed now. We realize, though, that maybe if you had someone to rule by your side . . ." he trailed off and looked at me expectantly.

I stiffened up then. "What about my sisters? They're perfectly capable of—"

"Of course, Your Majesty," he cut in, "but they're not of age yet."

"Well, then, I'm sure you can wait until Marta is at least. It's only one more year."

He sighed. "It's not about that, sir. We think your sisters would be great rulers, but your father wanted you to rule. And, well, we need you to get married, Your Majesty."

I blinked. Once. Twice. "Married?" I echoed.

"Yes, sir, married. All of our rulers have been married."

Married? No. I could not get married. Not yet. I just . . . I couldn't. I was still young. I didn't have to settled down _yet_.

But as much as I didn't want to, I knew it was the right thing to do. For my country.

"How long?"

"Four months, Your Majesty," he said.

I choked on my saliva. "Four months? How the hell am I supposed to fall in love in four months?"

"It's not about love, Sir. It's about your country." He said it like I was ignorant.

I never really liked this guy anyway. He was always going on about how it was my duty to my country. I have always done what I was told, my whole life. What if, for once, I wanted to do something for _myself_?

That would be thought of as unthinkable.

I scoffed. "Well, then, how am I supposed to _rule_ my country if its not even with someone I love?"

He sighed and looked to the man at his right. That man, whose name has completely slipped my mind, just shrugged and whispered something to him. The Prime Minister nodded and turned back to me.

"Fine," he said. "Six months. By June."

I sighed resignedly. That would have to do.

**- § -**

_Three months later . . . _

"Come on, man, you've only got three months left, and you haven't even given any of the bachelorettes and second glance. And, I mean, those girls were pretty hot, too."

I just shook my head. "Must you talk like that?"

Jake knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Like what?"

I rolled my eyes. "Disrespectfully," I said. "Those women have feelings, you know."

"Dude," he said, "if they knew I was talking about them like that they would be very pleased."

I shook my head. Arrogance is him. He knew he was good looking and he used it to his advantage. In more ways than one.

He stopped abruptly and turned to me. The person behind us nearly bumped into me and was about to say something rude when he noticed who I was. He just scurried on his way.

"What are you looking for, anyway?" he asked.

Confused, I asked, "What do you mean?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. You just seem to be looking for something in those women. Apparently they're not perfect enough for you."

I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Perfection is not what I'm looking for."

He looked at me scrutinizingly. "Then what ARE you looking for, man?"

I hesitated, trying to find the right words to say. "I guess I just want a woman who is _real_. It seems like all of them nowadays are just . . . fake. They have no true personality, always trying to impress people. They can never just be themselves."

He blinked a few times before he said, "You are in way over your head here, dude."

That, however, was what I was expecting to hear. Well, along those lines anyway.

"You are hopeless," he continued, walking ahead of me. "God, just pick a woman, bang her, marry her, and live happily ever after."

I glared at him. He knew I hated it when he talked about women like that. And, needless to say, he shut up pretty quickly after that.

"Okay, okay," he said, stopping again, "sorry. I just . . . you don't really have a lot of time left."

I nodded. "I am aware of this."

He just rolled his eyes at me and continued to walk ahead of me.

I just could not stand him sometimes. He was my best friend, but he was ignorant. Not stupid, just ignorant. But, well, he was the only one that understood me, my morals, my life, and everything I lived for. Which wasn't much, mind you.

"Hey, man, you comin'?" Jake yelled from ahead.

I nodded and ran to catch up with him. My day of freedom, after all, was ending quickly. Then I would be shut up in the palace for a weak doing work for hours on end.

There were only about two days a month where I was free of meetings, press conferences, and, well, my life. You know, where I could just go out and not have to worry about anything. And one of those days happened to be today. But still, I had to worry about this whole marriage thing.

Don't get me wrong. I _want_ to get marriend, but I wanted it to be with someone that I loved, not someone I was just marrying because I had to. And I probably would end up marrying one of those rich, royal bimbos who was just born with looks and wealth. As I have said before, I want a _real_ woman, who has actually _lived_. Someone who hasn't been shielded from the real world their entire lives. Someone who actually has a clue.

How I am going to find someone like that in less than three months, I do not know.

But Jake was right. I _was_ running out of time.

I was brought out of my musings when I collided with something and heard a girl yell, "Hey! Watch it!" Apparently I wasn't watching where I was going.

I looked down and noticed the girl on the ground. She didn't look too happy. That was when I realized that it was my fault she was there.

Good going, de Silva.

I reached my hand out for her to grab. She did and I pulled her gracefully to her feet.

The first thing I noticed about her was that she was pretty. No, beautiful. _Very_ beautiful. But it was like a natural beauty, not a face carved under a surgeon's knife.

With her emerald green eyes and stunning chestnut hair, she could render any man speechless.

Including, well, me.

I blinked and regained my composure. "Miss," I said, "I am terribly sorry about that, I—"

She held her hand up. "Don't worry about it," she said, brushing her shirt off, which, I noticed, she filled out quite well. "I'm just not having a fantastic day is all."

I smiled knowingly. Neither was I.

"Are you sure you're all right?" I asked, concerned.

She looked up at me, squinting from the bright sunlight behind me, and nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Thanks." Then she stuck her hand out. "I'm Suze, by the way," she said.

I shook her hand. "Jesse," I said. "Is that short for . . . Susan?"

She shook her head. "No, Susannah. As in 'Oh, Susannah, don't you cry for me'."

I laughed at her reference. "I know the song. It's a beautiful name, by the way."

I noticed her blushing at that moment. I decided not to say anything, though. That was when I heard my name being called, and it wasn't Susannah who was saying it.

"Jesse! Man, what are you doing? Come on!" Jake yelled from ahead. I guess he didn't notice that I had stopped. That doesn't really surprise me, since he's usually always half asleep.

Then I noticed he was running back to me. When he got to me, he looked at Susannah incredulously. "Suze?"

She turned and looked at him in surprise. "Jake? What the hell are you doing here?"

He smiled at her. "I should ask you the same question. I live here now. Surf's great year round." Then he looked back at me, who was completely confused by the situation. "I see you've met my sister."

"_Step_-sister," Susannah corrected. "We're not related." Then she muttered under her breath, "Thank God."

I grinned. At least she had a sense of humor.

Jake just rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Meanwhile I was still surprised. "Small world," I muttered.

Susannah turned her green eyes to me. "So, what's the deal with you two?"

"Oh," Jake said. "Well, Jesse's the k—"

I elbowed him. "Friends. We're friends."

Susannah looked at me with a strange expression on her face. "Oh," she said, "well, that's nice."

Jake just glared at me. I really didn't understand what the deal was. I just didn't want her to know who I was yet. Because if she did, she would start acting like I was superior to her.

That's what I hate about being who I am. Once people learn who you are, they stop being themselves and continuously try to impress you.

Story of my life.

Susannah looked at her watch. "Hey, look," she said, "I've gotta go. Gina is probably wondering if I got mugged or something."

Jake perked up then. "Gina's here?"

Susannah's lips curved into a smirk. "Of course she is. She's my best friend, after all."

"Hey," he said, "how 'bout the four of us get together for some time. You know, for coffee or something."

Susannah looked at me and smiled. One that made my heart practically stop beating. Then she looked at Jake and said, "I'll see what Gina says." She straightened the purse on her shoulder. "Well," she said, "it was nice bumping into you, Jesse." The smirk returned to her face. "Maybe we'll see each other again soon."

And for the first time that day, I felt myself truly, genuinely smile.

After she walked away and out of sight, Jake elbowed me in the side. "You like her, don't you?"

I didn't say anything. She was, after all, his sister. Albeit, they weren't really related, but his sister nonetheless.

But I realized then that she was the kind of woman I had been searching for. Beautiful, but in a natural way. Confident, but not arrogant. Smart, funny, possessing a personality . . . and the list goes on.

I never really believed in love at first sight until then.

And my main goal after that was to make Susannah my _querida_.

My queen.

**A/N: So, how'd you all like it? I know a little bit of it is out of character, and some of the stuff regarding royalty is probably not right. But I was actually kinda happy with this and I wanted to post it right away. If you have any suggestions for corrections, tell me, and I'll make them. In the meantime, review!**

**I was also thinking of making this into a story. It was originally going to be a one-shot, but I've found a bit of inspiration for a story. As if I don't all ready have enough stories going as it is. But anyway, let me know.**

**Disclaimer: All of the Mediator characters belong to Meg Cabot.**


	2. Dinner

**So, I finally got this chapter up. Sorry for the wait and stuff. I was busy figuring out what I was gonna do with this story, and, believe me, I have a pretty good idea now. I have faith in this story. :D Remember to review for me! **

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Chapter 2: Dinner

Suze's POV

I stumbled into the hotel. Gina was sitting on the couch watching television, eating popcorn. Didn't really look like she was worried.

I walked over to her and sat down next to her on the couch. "Oh, my God," I said giddily. "Gina, I just met _the_ hottest guy ever."

She pulled her eyes away from the television screen and onto me. "Do tell."

So I told her what happened. That I was just walking down the sidewalk and I bumped into him — literally. I told her about how sweet he was. A little peculiar, but he was nice. And his hotness definitely helped. And then I told her thing the that would shock her completely. "And apparently one of his friends is Jake."

Her eyes widened. "Jake," she said flatly. "Jake as in...your brother Jake?"

I smirked. "What other Jake would I be talking about?"

She ignored my last statement. "H-how do you know that?" she asked. "I mean, how do you know that he's friends with this guy you just met?"

I smiled wickedly. "Because he was there. He wants us to meet them for coffee or something sometime."

She looked at me seriously. "Did you get one of their numbers?"

Oops. I guess I kind of forgot about that.

She noticed the look on my face and sighed. "Jeez, Suze. How the hell are we supposed to meet them for coffee if we don't know their numbers?"

I shrugged. "I kinda missed that, I guess."

"You don't say," she said sarcastically. Then suddenly she got up off the couch, startling me. She headed for the kitchen to throw the popcorn away and refill her drink. Or, that's what I assumed she was doing, at least.

I followed her into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, watching her. "So, if I happen to bump into one of them again, I'll bring the coffee thing up. What do you say? Would you come with me?"

She turned her head to me. "I don't know. I mean, I haven't seen Jake in a _long_ time. It'll probably be very awkward."

"Not as awkward as the word itself."

She shot me an annoyed look. "Okay, fine," she said. "I'll go. But that's _if_ you bump into them. It's a big place, Suze. Who's to say you'll ever see one of them again?"

I shrugged. She was right. But...I had a feeling I would see them again. And very, very soon.

- § -

It wasn't until two days later that I saw one of them again. Gina and I were at one of the king's campaigns. Gina's idea, not mine. Really, I wasn't really fond of kings. I mean, most of them just turn out to be spoiled, rotten people.

But whatever. I guess it doesn't really matter, since I don't live in the country anyway.

But yeah, Gina and I were at one of the campaigns. I truly didn't even want to be there, but apparently she had heard that the kind was really hot and just wanted to get a glimpse of him. You know, to see if the facts were straight.

However, we never got to see the king. Apparently he had just come down with something that morning and he wasn't well to come out in public.

Huh. What a pity.

I turned to Gina. "Can we go now?" I asked impatiently.

She sighed resignedly. "Yeah, I guess." She stood up, as did I, and we started for the exit. That's when I heard my name being called. To tell you the truth, it kind of freaked me out. I wasn't even expecting it. At all.

I spun around quickly, and I noticed Jake off the other side of the room. He waved at me, but I saw his eyes drift to Gina, and I also saw those eyes widen, like he couldn't really believe she was there.

Gina turned around now, too, and she saw Jake. She gulped and looked at me. I knew that look. One that I hadn't seen much in my life, but I knew it all the same.

Gina was nervous.

I smirked at her, grabbing her arm and pulling her through the crowd toward Jake.

When we got to Jake, they were both speechless. So, you know, I figured I should at least say something. "So, long time no see, eh?" I said.

Jake took his attention away from Gina—they were both just _staring_ at each other; it was actually kind of creepy. "Yeah," he said, a little distractedly.

I rolled my eyes. Oh, this guy was desperate. You could so tell that he wanted Gina. Badly. And vice versa. Gina wasn't doing the whole hard-to-get thing like she normally would. Well, maybe that was because she all ready knew Jake, but whatever.

"So, what about the whole 'coffee' thing?" I asked casually.

He furrowed his eyebrows, like he couldn't remember what I was talking about. Then his face relaxed and he said, "Oh, yeah. Right. Well, would today be okay for you guys? I mean, Jesse isn't really feeling all that well, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind being with you, Suze."

I felt a blush creep onto my face. "Today? I mean, I guess today is okay. But if he's not feeling well..."

He shook his head. "Once he hears your name, he'll be out of bed in no time."

I blushed even harder. What was he implying? That Jesse actually _liked_ me? I mean, yeah, that would be great, but I didn't really think it was true. A guy that hot can't like a girl like _me_.

Can he?

"...is eight okay?"

I only caught the last bit of what Jake was saying, so I really didn't know if four _was_ okay? Eight o' clock, eight people, eight dumplings...

I wasn't really sure.

So I looked at Gina, to which she was looking at me. Already she could tell that I hadn't been paying attention. "Yeah," she said to him. "Eight is great."

Jake grinned. "Awesome." And then he proceeded to give her directions on how to get to the place we were eating at.

- § -

So much for coffee.

I should have known what Jake was planning the whole time. I mean, where Gina is concerned, at least.

So, instead of us going to get some coffee, we were meeting Jake and Jesse at a restaurant at eight the next night. I actually thought we were going that night, but Jake said that Jesse probably should just stay in for the night.

But really, when did he become this guy's nurse?

Anyway, let me just say, this restaurant? Yeah, it was quite the fancy place. I mean, not somewhere you take your step-sister and her friend. I mean, unless you plan on trying to get into said step-sister's friend's pants, which I know Jake was secretly trying to do.

But even as I was walking through the restaurant with Gina—with my new Jimmy Choos (clearance), black halter dress, and my hair down in curls—looking for Jake and Jesse, I couldn't help but smile. This _was_ a nice place, and I was going to see Jesse again.

Jake and Jesse both smiled broadly when we arrived at the table. I mean, with Jake I could understand, since what Gina was wearing was a little...revealing, to say the least—a red strapless mini-dress, with clear stilettos. But what was with Jesse? I mean, did he actually like the sight of _me_?

Gina nudged me, and I soon realized that I was still standing and Jesse was waiting for me to sit down, since he had just pulled my chair out for me. Blushing, I slowly sank into my seat and thanked Jesse.

It just seemed so surreal. Me sitting across from Jesse like that. God, I really think I do like him. Maybe if I—

That's when I realize, with a sinking feeling, that I already have a boyfriend. One that is very hot, and really likes me.

Oh, God. How could I have forgotten about Paul?

Shit. I shouldn't be here. I _can't_ be here.

"Suze? Are you okay?" Gina was looking at me weirdly. What? What was I doing?

Oh, Lord. I was shaking.

"Um," I said, not really sure if I was okay or not, "yeah. I'm fine." And I managed to give her a smile.

But she saw right through it. She looked back at Jake and Jesse and said, as politely as she could muster, "Can you just excuse us for a minute?"

Without even letting them get a reply in, she grabbed my arm and we were off to the ladies' room.

"Suze," she said when we got in there, "what the hell is wrong with you? God. We finally get together with them and you're acting all weird. Wait," she said, suddenly stopping. "Is there a ghost out there or something?" she whispered.

Oh, yeah. Maybe I forgot to mention that. The whole 'I can see dead people' thing. Well, its just this curse I was given from birth. I can see the spirits of the deceased and I'm supposed to help them move on to a better place. Normally I wouldn't really mind, but its when the ghosts get all nasty on me that pisses me off.

I shook my head. "No, Gina. There isn't."

"Then what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, it can't be Jesse. You were right, the guy is gorgeous."

"Its...its just that...well, I have a boyfriend, Gina, remember? Paul?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Oh, right. Well, you're on vacation. You can just forget about him while you're here. Have some fun."

"Gina, he's my _boyfriend_. I can't 'have some fun' as you put it. I'll feel really guilty afterwards." Which was true. I'd feel horrible.

She rolled her eyes. "Then dump him. I mean, yeah the guy is hot, really hot, but I'm telling you, I really am not too fond of him. He just...creeps me out sometimes."

Okay, so maybe I haven't told her about Paul being like me. A mediator, or, as he calls it, a shifter. And, well, that's why I think—and I really stress the word _think_—we should be together. We both have the same uncanny ability to communicate with the dead. He's the only one I've ever met, besides my high school principle and Paul's little brother. And I highly doubt I should be going out with a ten year old or a sixty year old.

Just for the record, I truly am devoted to my boyfriend, but...we've been dating for quite a while now—eight months—and I'm not sure if I love him. Yes, like Gina said, he is hot. He, like Jesse, is gorgeous. But that's not all I'm looking for in a guy. Yeah, I would like them to be hot and sexy, but I also need them to have a personality that I am compatible with, unlike Paul. Even though we both can communicate with the dead, we don't really have that much in common.

Yeah, I know, opposites attract. But...I don't see too much attracting happening anymore.

Okay, well, other than the times when we're in bed. The guy is seriously not lacking in that field. He knows quite a few ways to make a girl happy.

But like I said before, that's not all I want in a relationship. Great sex should be like an appetizer. Nice to have, but not essential to the meal. You see what I'm saying?

"Suze? God, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I snapped out of my musings and looked my best friend in the face. "Gina...maybe you're right. I'll call him tonight and break up with him."

She just looked at me like I was an idiot. "Break up with him over the phone? No, Suze. You gotta do that in person. Only a coward breaks up with someone over the phone."

"But how the hell can I do that if I'm here and he's in California? Answer me that."

She just rolled her eyes. "Wait until you get back, genius. Now, come on. I think they've been waiting long enough."

- § -

"So, Jake, what are you doing now? Besides surfing, I mean."

Jake looked at Gina and said, with slight humor, "Gina, you know surfing is my life."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes. How could I have forgotten?" She looked over at Jesse. "And you? What do you do for work, Jesse?"

I could see him stiffen a little—no, not like _that_. "I'm working with the, um—"

"Law-making," Jake cut in. "He's into law-making."

I looked at Jesse curiously. I only found it a little peculiar that Jake was answering for him."What, like Parliament?"

He nodded. "One could say."

I could clearly tell he didn't want to talk about it, so I dropped the subject completely. A tense silence soon followed.

"So, Suze, how's college life treatin' ya? Nothing like high school, eh?" Jake finally said.

I rolled my eyes. "No, its not like high school, and that is precisely why I prefer college."

He just shook his head, like he couldn't believe me. "You and Gina live together, right?" Then he added, without even letting either of us get a word in, "In a dorm or an apartment?"

"Apartment," answered Gina.

Jake nodded. "Ah," he said, "I see. Well, would you mind switching places, Suze? I'm sure Jesse wouldn't mind bunking with you instead of me."

I looked over at Jesse and I actually saw a blush creep onto his face. Ah, so he's that kind.

I smiled at Jesse and said, a little flirtatiously, "I wouldn't really mind all that much either."

Screw Paul. He's always too busy with his lawyer shit to be with me anyway. The only time he ever wants to be with me is when he's horny. Our relationship isn't even _ethical_ anymore.

Jesse was just looking at me with a strange expression on his face. And Jake and Gina were both staring at me with shock written all over their faces. I guess they didn't think I knew how to flirt.

Well, okay, maybe I had a few too many glasses of wine. Sue me.

Thankfully, just then, the bill came and we could get up to go. I offered to pay my fee, but Jesse just shushed me and said he had it. Gina didn't even offer to pay for hers; she had Jake eating out of her hand by now.

When we got outside, I saw Gina whispering into Jake's ear. I could tell he was looking happy already. And, then all of a sudden, his smile disappeared andhe said, a little grumpily, "I can't. I'm sorry."

Gina looked taken aback. I don't think a guy has ever rejected her before. "Oh, right, sorry. I just...sorry."

Jake shook his head. "No, its not—its just...I have a duty, and I can't..." He sighed.

Jesse looked over at Jake and shook his head. "It's okay. Go."

Jake knitted his eyebrows. "What? But you—"

"I'll be fine here with Susannah. You two can go."

"Man, are you sure? If anything happens while I'm gone—"

Jesse shook his head again. "I'll be okay."

Jake nodded his head. Then he took Gina by the arm and led her down the street, leaving Jesse and me alone outside the restaurant.

Once they were out of sight, I began to get nervous. Here I was with a guy I knew practically nothing about, completely alone.

As if sensing my nervousness, Jesse looked down at me and smiled. "Come on. There's a place I want to show you."

I nodded. "Okay."

I noticed, as we were walking to wherever he wanted to show me, that he didn't once try to hold my hand or put his arm around my shoulder or waist.

I was surprised when, about five minutes later, we arrived at this little secluded place on the beach. It wasn't all that big, and on either side was a mountain of rocks—or maybe they were jetties.

It was, in all honesty, beautiful. It was completely dark, but the moon shone perfectly down the water, slightly lighting up the spots. And the stars...oh, the stars. You could see them beautifully. If I thought the stars in Carmel were great, it was even better here.

"Like it?"

Jesse was gazing down at me, the moonlight framing his face perfectly.

I smiled at him. "I love it." Then I walked forward, not before taking off my shoes—I had just gotten them, I didn't want to ruin them already—and plopped myself down in the sand. I lay down, letting my curls sprawl out on the sand, gazing up at the stars.

Jesse quietly sat down next to me. But instead of looking at the stars, like me, he was looking at _me_. If it were any other guy, I would have been a little unnerved. But, for some strange reason, I felt really comfortable around him. I felt like I could really trust him.

"How did you ever find a place like this?"

He smiled. "My sisters and I would come here when we were kids. We just came across it one day."

I smiled slightly. "I never had a sister. I always wondered what it would be like. Actually, I never had any siblings, up until I was sixteen, when my mom got married to Jake's dad."

Jesse chuckled, leaning back on his hands in the sand. "I have five sisters, and believe me, they're a handful."

I laughed a little, looking up at the stars once more. "Three step-brothers is quite a handful, too. But you got me beat."

"And as annoying as they can be sometimes, you learn to love them."

It was amazing how true those words were. When I first moved in with my mom and Andy and the boys, I thought it was horrible. But over time I grew a new affection for them. Well, Brad was still annoying to me, but I learned to ignore him.

"Yeah," I said, "you do."

And that's how the rest of the night went with him. We just sat there and talked the whole time, about our lives. It was great. I don't think I was ever as open about myself with Paul as I was with him.

And already I was falling for him.

But there was one thing about that night that I could just not erase from my mind, even if I wanted to forget it. The fact that I saw someone hiding in the bushes about forty feet back from us. Believe me, I wanted to tell Jesse, but it was weird. At the time I thought maybe it was just a drunk or whatever, but I never realized how dangerous that guy would turn out to be.


	3. Foot Cramps

Chapter 3: Foot Cramps

Jesse

It was truly insane how beautiful she really was. Seeing her that day on the street was nothing compared to seeing her walk through the doors of the restaurant. She was...breathtaking.

And I hated myself for lying to her about who I am. But she can't know, not yet. She wouldn't be the same around me if she knew who I really was.

I sighed. She was all I could think about. Sleep was beginning to look impossible now.

I got up out of my bed and wandered down to the kitchen. There was a maid, Janet, in there preparing something for someone—it couldn't have been me, since I did not ask for anything—and she nodded politely to me as she saw me come in.

"Is there anything you need, Your Majesty?" she asked. She had a very high-pitched voice, but it that didn't really surprise me, considering her height.

I politely declined. "I'm fine, thank you, Janet. And how many times have I told you to call me Jesse?"

She smiled. "Old habits die hard, I guess," she said, and then went to one of the cupboards behind her.

Just then someone else came wandering in. I looked up to see who it was, and I was surprised to see it was Jake. He was surprised to see me as well.

"Jesse? What are you doing up, man? It's fucking 2 AM."

I scowled at his choice of words, but chose not to say anything. I could clearly tell that he had had a few drinks. "I couldn't sleep."

He smirked. "Have a certain someone on your mind?"

"No," I lied.

He laughed a little bit. "Sure, man, keep telling yourself that. So, anyway, how'd it go with her? Did you have a good time?"

I smiled. "Yes. I had a great time. What about you?" I decided it was better to keep the details to myself.

He grinned. "Oh, I had an _awesome_ time. Thanks for letting me go, by the way."

"Not a problem. I was fine with Susannah."

He just shook his head. "So, did you kiss her, or anything? Or vice versa?"

"No," I answered. Oh, I would have liked to, but it was only the first date. So that would have been very disrespectful of me.

He rolled his eyes again. "Why not? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded. I know my sister."

I could tell Janet was having a field day with this information. I saw her look up when Jake said 'sister'.

"Even so, it would have been very disrespectful on the first date."

"So? It was only the first date with Gina, and I went all the way with her. God, that girl knows what she's doing."

I grimaced. "But you already knew her. I've never met Susannah before a few days ago."

Jake shrugged. "Whatever. But just to let you know, you've got less than three months left to get the right girl. If you want that girl to be Suze, then you better 'fess up."

And then he took the sandwich that Janet had just made and walked out of the kitchen. I sighed resignedly as he walked away. He was right. But how do I do that without her getting mad at me?

- § -

The next morning I had the urge to go for a run. Lately I haven't been able to do that, what with this whole campaign thing, but I wanted to today. It was overcast, but it wasn't raining.

I went to where Jake was sleeping and woke him up. I knew he would have a splitting headache, so I took the liberty of getting him a glass of water and a few aspirin. He took them gratefully.

Then I told him that I wanted to go for a run. See, normally I would just go by myself. But considering who I am, I have to have someone with me at all times when I'm outside the palace.

Jake was my best friend, but he was also my bodyguard. So he always had a gun with him at all times, even when we went running.

When we run, we usually go on the beach. So we ran the half a mile to the beach and then began on the beach, running the stretch of the shore. We must have been running for about twenty minutes when the sun came out, the clouds disappearing. Jake groaned beside me. I think the sun was making his head hurt even more.

It was as we were running back that I heard something. It sounded like...

Jake stopped beside me and he looked toward where there were two girls laying on towels in the sand. Was that...?

"Jake!"

It was.

It was Susannah and her friend. But what were they doing here...?

Oh, right.

Jake looked back at me and smiled. Then he nodded towards Susannah and Gina and said, "Come on."

I nodded and went with him over to the girls. Gina was smiling but Susannah looked a little embarrassed. I wonder why.

"What happened to surfing?" Gina said with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes. "Waves are dead today. Only one to two." He wrinkled his nose as he looked out at the water.

Jake sat down in the sand next to Gina. Susannah looked up at me and smiled a little. She patted the sand next to her. "Sit down. I won't bite."

I smiled and took a seat next to her. I noticed then that her bathing suit was a little...revealing, to say the least. I felt myself flush at the thought.

Jake leaned over and kissed Gina. I turned away. It was not really my business to be watching them as they kissed. Then I heard Gina giggle.

Susannah looked at me and rolled her eyes. "You wanna take a walk, or something?"

I nodded. "Yes. That might be best."

She smiled. Then I got up and held my hand out to pull her up. As her fingers closed around my hand, it felt as if a spark of electricity was shooting up my arm. Hm. That's odd.

Jake looked over at us. "Where are you guys going?"

Susannah looked at me and rolled her eyes, then she looked back at Gina and Jake. "Away from you guys. No offense, but its not really all that fun seeing you guys sucking face. It's called a _bedroom_, you know," she said mockingly.

Jake just rolled his eyes and went back to kissing Gina.

"Come on," Susannah said, and she started walking toward the water. I couldn't help but stare after her as she walked away. She was..._dios_, she was...well, she had a very nice body.

She looked back at me, and when she caught me staring she smirked. I felt the heat creep into my cheeks, and, flustered, I started walking towards her.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. Then Susannah said, "So, how do you and Jake know each other?"

I hesitated. "We...work together. And we just became friends."

She smiled. "That's cool. I met Gina when I was about four, when we still lived in New York. We've been best friends since."

"I understand you live in California now, correct?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I moved there with my mom when I was sixteen, after she married Andy, Jake's dad. I was upset about it at first, but I learned to love it, just like my new family." She cocked her head towards me. "Speaking of family...you've told me about your sisters, but what about your parents?"

I looked down. I really did not want to talk about this, but it would be rude to not say anything.

I sighed. "My mother died of cancer when I was fifteen, and then my father was killed when I was eighteen."

Her eyes widened as she looked back up at me. "Oh...oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. I—"

I smiled down at her. "No, its alright. You didn't know."

She looked down at her feet, which I noticed the toes were painted a deep red. "I...I sort of know how it feels, though. My dad died when I was six. My mom thinks I still haven't gotten over it, no matter how many times I've told her I have."

I looked ahead of me as I walked. "Death is a hard thing to overcome, to most people. But to me its just a fact of life. People die, but it doesn't mean that they're gone forever."

Susannah looked up at me, agog. "You know," she said slowly. "I've always thought the same thing. I miss my dad, but I know he's still around, watching over me."

It is odd. I feel the same about my parents. I know my father wanted me to rule after he died, but I know that he also wants me to be happy, no matter what. Its just...I want to make him happy, wherever he is.

"Jesse...if your parents aren't alive, then where do your sisters live?"

I looked back at her in surprise. I guess I forgot where I was for a moment there. "They live with me."

She looked shocked. "Really? I mean, well, how do you do it? Do they have jobs, or something?"

Oh. This might be a bit hard to explain without spilling the beans. "Two of them do. The others are too young."

Well, its only a little white lie. For now. I will tell her the truth when I am ready.

She nodded. "Oh. I see." She looked at me and frowned. "I'm sorry. This is clearly a subject you aren't comfortable discussing."

I shook my head. "It's fine. I'm just a little tired, is all."

And it was true. All of a sudden I was feeling really tired.

I looked in front of me. We were almost to the jetties. Dead end.

I turned to look at Susannah. She was looking at me with a weird expression on her face. It looked as if she was debating something in her head. Debating what, I do not really know.

I looked back at the jetties again, then back at her. "Maybe we should go back now. I have—"

I really did not get to finish my sentence, since Susannah stood up on her tippy-toes and pressed her lips against mine. I was very shocked for the first few seconds, but then she began moving her lips and I kissed her back. I leaned my head down so she could reach my lips better. And then I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

Nombre de Dios. Oh, it felt so good.

I pressed my tongue against her lips and she opened up her mouth, allowing me to slip my tongue inside and...

...and then she pulled away.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch."

When I opened up my eyes I noticed she was standing on one foot and shaking the other. If I was not so shocked from what had just happened, I probably would have laughed.

She looked at me and blushed. "Sorry," she apologized. "But I have a really bad cramp in my foot."

"It...its alright." I looked down the beach and I could not see Jake anywhere. We must have walked quite a bit. "I think maybe we should go back now."

She nodded. "Once I can walk without my foot cramping."

I smiled. "I could carry you if your foot hurts that badly."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you...are you _flirting_ with me?" she asked in mock outrage.

I laughed. "Maybe," I said.

She seemed to consider this. "No, I'm fine now. But maybe another time." She put her leg back down and began to walk back. Shaking my head, I followed her.

I will never understand women.

**- § -**

**Okay, I know its been over a month since I last updated this, and I am very, VERY sorry about that. I actually had this chapter finished for a while, but I wasn't really sure if that was the way I wanted to take the story. But...I figured, why the hell not, so I decided to finally post it. And here it is.**

**And another thing...I realize with the whole paparazzi (is that how you spell it?) and everything that someone would have gotten a picture of Jesse and Suze kissing, _especially_ with them being on a beach, but just ignore that fact for now. If someone were to get that and send it to a magazine or something, that would completely ruin my storyline, so that's why I'm not including that. Yet. :D**

**Anywho, please remember to review. They are very welcome.**

**-Nicole**


	4. Encounters of the Paranormal Kind

Chapter 4: Encounters of the Paranormal Kind

Suze

Okay, I am definitely a terrible girlfriend. I mean, I just kissed another guy. And its not like he initiated it, _I_ did.

But...GOD, it was a good kiss. Well, up until I got a cramp in my foot. Damn Jesse for being so damn tall.

Oh, God. I really wish I didn't have a boyfriend right now.

Sighing loudly, I flopped back on the hotel room bed. The _only_ hotel room bed.

Oh, jeez. I hope Jake and Gina changed the sheets, because that would be _so_ gross, me laying on it...

Nasty.

I scrambled off the bed and went over to the closet, where I saw extra sheets when I was putting my clothes away. Just to be safe, I grabbed one off the top and changed the bed.

I was about to go and lay down on it again when I heard a tinkling of materialization.

Oh, great. And on my vacation, too.

I turned around to see a middle aged man. He was Spanish looking, with dark hair, skin, and eyes. He looked weary and upset.

Well, I guess that's not so surprising to me, seeing as he probably had just died and wished he was still alive. That's what they all want. The ghosts, that is.

"Are you the mediator?" he asked in a tired voice.

I nodded, trying to be polite. "Yes. What can I help you with?"

He seemed to consider this. "Well, its been quite a while since I died. About three years..."

I looked at him curiously. "So you've been stuck here for three years? Well, its not all that uncommon. I've met other ghosts who've been stuck here for hundreds of years."

He nodded. "Yes. I see." He didn't say anything more.

"Well, you aren't destined to be stuck here for the rest of your existence, as some ghosts seem to think. So...do you have any idea what's holding you back?"

He knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Like, why you're still here, and not in, say, heaven."

He hesitated before shaking his head mildly. "I have not a clue."

"Okay, well, let's start with your name and how you died," I said, putting on the most polite voice I could muster. I find that you should always be as nice as possible when concerning ghosts who have been killed. They tend to get pissed off more easily than others.

"How I...died?" he echoed, uncertain.

I sighed, and forced a smile. "If you tell me how it is that you died, I might be able to help you move on. You know, to a better place."

He nodded again. "Alright...my name is Jose, and, well, I was...murdered."

I sighed. Another murder case. Lovely. "Right. Well, how, exactly, were you murdered?"

"I was shot." This guy was very close-mouthed, I was beginning to notice.

"Do you know why they shot you?"

He nodded. "Yes. It's quite simple, really. I was the king of this country. I wasn't really murdered, more like assassinated."

My eyes widened. A...king? Never have I met a king in all of my mediating escapades.

Or, well, ex-king.

It was as I was thinking that that my cell phone went off.

"Excuse me a second," I said to José, and went to answer my phone.

"Hello?" I answered absently.

I knew instantly who was on the other end when they said, "Forgotten me already, Suze?"

Great, just the person I felt like talking to right now.

"Paul, I'm in the middle of a mediation, okay? Can you just call me back later, please?"

He scoffed. "See, that's why I should have come with you. If I did, then you wouldn't be taking shit from dead people."

I narrowed my eyes, even though he could not see it. However, he must have some clue as to how much he was making me mad when I said, "I'm hanging up now, Paul."

"Wait," he said, and, like the nice person I am, I waited. "When are you coming home?"

Home. Ugh. I was dreading that. Going home, I mean.

"In a couple of days, Paul."

"Come on, Suze. I was just calling to see how you were. Don't be like that."

"Hanging up now," I said, and I hung up before he could get another word in. And then I shut my phone off.

"Sorry," I said to José, but he just simply waved it off with his hand. I quickly resumed what we had been talking about. "So, is that why you think you're still here? Because you were assassinated?"

He hesitated. "Well, that could be it. But I think its most likely because my son, Hector, is unhappy."

This might be easier than I thought. "Oh. Well, do you want me to tell him something for you?"

"I...yes. Please."

I sat down on my bed and gestured to the armchair opposite the bed for him to sit down. But he just ignored me and continued to stand.

"What would you like me to tell him, Jose?"

He didn't say anything for a minute. He looked as if he was thinking hard about it. After a few moments silence, he finally said, "Just tell him that I want him to be happy. Even if it means giving up the throne."

I blinked. "So...your son is the...king, now, I assume?"

"Yes," he said. "He took my place after I was killed."

There was something strange about this. Wait, shouldn't the queen rule before the prince takes over?

I voiced this to Jose, but he just said simply, "My wife died a few years before I did."

Oh. Well, that explains it. "I'm sorry, sir. This must be so hard on your son."

He nodded. "Well, I've seen him lately, and he doesn't seem as affected by it as his sisters. Hector has always accepted death in a cool manor. He has a very open mind, you see."

I nodded, to show I was comprehending this. "So you just want me to tell him that you just want him to be happy, no matter what?"

Slowly he nodded. "Yes." Then he added, "Please."

- § -

So...I had to find a king and explain to him that his father just wanted him to be happy, no matter what he did.

Now, riddle me this: how the hell am I supposed to get in touch with a king? Don't they, like, have bodyguards surrounding them at all times? I mean, really. I wanted to help poor Jose, but I didn't know how I would be able to talk to the king. Alone. Without any interruptions.

No doubt the guy would think I was crazy. But, well, most people do when I tell them that their loved ones—the deceased ones at that—have a message for them. I just didn't want to be kicked out of the country before I got to really know Jesse.

Oh, God. I really want to go see him now. There is just something about that guy that makes me want more of him every time I see him. It can't be just because the guy is gorgeous. I mean, that is a great plus, but I am _not_ shallow.

Gina was nowhere to be found. She was probably out with Jake. I do not even want to think of what they are doing.

I turned on the television and started flipping through the channels. Most of them were just local channels advertising things. Then I stopped when I saw something about the king's palace. There was a...a tour.

I sat up in the chair and stared at it. That's it! I could go on the tour and maybe I would possibly see the king. How cool would that be? And then if I did, I could report back to Gina on the king's hotness.

Looking at the screen, I picked up my cell phone on the end table and started dialing the number in front of me. A lady answered it and I told her that I would like to go on the tour of the palace. She was nice about it and gave me directions to the place and told me just to come in at a certain time and I could buy the ticket then.

Okay, that was pretty easy, I must say.

I was doing nothing at that moment, so I decided to go then, just to get it over with. I went over to the closet and put my shoes on—walking shoes, since I did not know how long I would be walking for—and went out the door, remembering to grab my purse on the way.

I walked out of the hotel and saw a bus stop a little ways down the road. I was not quite sure if there were taxis around here—probably not, by the looks of it—and I did not have a rental car or anything, so bus transportation would have to do.

There was no one on the bus when it came to the stop. That was a good thing, too, since I would rather not be cramped next to a million people I didn't know. I gave the driver the amount to board the bus and took a seat. It was not five minutes before someone sat down next to me.

It was a guy, around my age, maybe a few years older. He was cute, but not nearly as good-looking as Jesse—or even Paul, for that matter. But seriously, this guy was in for a rude awakening. I was SO not interested.

"Hello, Miss," he said in a heavily accented voice. I realized he was not from around here. It sounded like he was from England. Hmm...foreigners seem to like me. Is there any way that I could use that to my advantage?

"Hi," I said, as indifferently as I could. Maybe this guy would get the hint already and leave me alone.

"Where are you headed?" he asked, almost, well, politely.

I turned to look at him then. Like, really look at him. "The palace," I answered simply.

His eyes lit up then, and it was a little creepy. "Why, me too. What a coincidence."

Damn. Why did I have to say that? Couldn't I have just said I was going to meet my boyfriend, or something? That would have gotten him to leave me alone.

"Oh," was all that I could think of to say.

His smile broadened. "Would you mind if I joined you, Miss?"

"Um, I actually have some private business to attend to there. Otherwise, I would. I'm sorry."

His smile faded a little, but he kept it up as best he could. "Oh, that's alright. I understand." And then he got up to go back to his seat.

And I instantly felt really bad. I mean, sure, maybe he was hitting on me, but still. He could be this really nice guy and everything. He seemed nice enough.

But seeming nice enough doesn't really cut it. He could be a serial killer, for all I knew.

That's the argument in my head that kept me from stopping him from going back to his seat.

- § -

When I arrived at the palace, I swore I was going to faint. Never, in my entire existence, had I ever seen something so…BIG. I mean, sure, I had seen castles and mansions and…other big buildings. But to think that people actually LIVED here? Well, I was positive that they were living in luxury. God, some people are just born lucky.

Unlike me.

Finally I stopped staring at the place and decided to go in. It was the only way that I was going to get José the King to move on. I mean, yeah, he was a nice guy and all, but he did not deserve to be stuck here for the rest of eternity.

But that means that I have to find his son and tell him to just be happy, whatever the case may be. That really does not seem like an easy feat to me, but it is worth a shot.

I took a deep breath and walked up to the palace. There were a couple tour guides outside, since it was a nice day, waiting for the twelve o'clock tour. I walked over and introduced myself to the first one I saw. She faked a smile and handed me an itinerary after I paid my fee.

"Excuse me," I said when she tried to walk away.

She turned back around. "Yes?"

"I was wondering…would there, um, be any chance that I could…well, meet the king?"

Her shrill laugh was enough to shatter a mirror. Note to self: check compact when she's not looking. "Of course not. Don't you think the king has much better things to do than meet tourists?" It was, of course, a rhetorical question.

So I just rolled my eyes and ignored her for the rest of the waiting time. I wonder…would it be possible to change tour guides? 'Cause this one was a bitch.

It was not long after that that the tour actually started.

The tour went through some of the guest bedrooms, the servant's quarters, the ultra-large kitchen, the dining room (only, that was unlike any dining room I've seen. I didn't even know tables came in that size), some of the bathrooms (that were the size of my whole living room back home), and some of the conference rooms, too.

But, unfortunately, nothing really gave me a chance to even get near the king. My plan was not turning out well. Maybe there was a way that I could sneak in to see him. If only I knew where his bedroom was…

It was as I was thinking that that I saw a tuft of blonde hair. The only person I know that has _that_ shade of blonde hair is…

"Jake!"

He spun around and looked at me. To say he looked shocked would be a major understatement. He walked over to me and smiled. It was a forced smile, I could tell. He was not really all that happy to see me.

"Suze…what a pleasant surprise. Wh-what on earth are you doing here?"

"I was going on a tour, since Gina was out with you…wait a second, where is she?"

"I dropped her off about a half hour ago."

He still did not look pleased that I was here. What was up his ass?

Actually, I really did not want to know.

"Well, what are you doing here, then?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just looking around. Kinda like you, but in a less tourist-y way."

Well, he was starting to joke a little, so that was okay.

Someone called his name and he groaned. "Look," he said rushedly, "I gotta go. Maybe we'll see you later? I know Jesse wants to see you again."

I blushed, but luckily he had turned around and walked away before he could see it.

**Yes, I updated. Hallelujiah (sp?). But that is not to say that it is going to be updated again in the near future. I'm still trying to work on the plot and all.**

**Well, in the meantime, please review!**


	5. The Truth

Chapter 5: The Truth

Jesse

"Okay, man, you're really gonna wanna tell her now."

I looked at Jake skeptically. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, while opening the door to the dining area.

He glowered at me. "It _means_ that you need to tell her. She was at the palace today and she saw me. I don't know what she thought of it, or why she was even there, but seriously, you need to tell her before she finds out."

"I'll handle it on my own time, Jake. I have it under control," I said, turning back around and walking through the doors.

He groaned. "No, you _don't_, Jesse," he said, following me into the dining area. "If you had it under control, she would know. You know I wouldn't be acting this way if it was some other chick, but this is my _sister_."

One of the maids that was walking through the dining area looked at us curiously. Jake looked at her and she scurried away, frightened. I just rolled my eyes.

"I _will_ tell her, Jake. I am just waiting for the right moment," I tried to reassure him.

Yes, he was certainly right. And I did understand where he was coming from. He did not want his sister getting hurt because of me. But when I said I had it under control, I meant it. I planned on telling her that night, when we went for dinner. Alone. Without Jake and Gina.

I had already called her - she had given her cell phone number to me that night I was with her at the beach - to tell her the plans, and she seemed quite excited (though I will not flatter myself to say that she was _over_-joyed). I could not wait to see her.

Jake broke my thoughts about Susannah with, "And when would the right moment be, huh? Right before she's about to leave to go back home? I don't think so."

I rolled my eyes again, but not intentionally. I think it is beginning to become a habit. One that is not very polite, might I add. I probably would end up doing it when I was talking (and disagreeing) with some prime minister.

"I'm planning on telling her tonight," I said tartly.

He narrowed his eyes. "For sure? You aren't going to chicken out, or anything?"

I gave him a look and he sighed.

"Okay," he said. "Call me or come see me afterward to let me know."

I nodded. "I will," I promised.

"Okay," he said again. He looked at his watch and swore. "I gotta go. I'm meeting Gina in a little bit for an early dinner. By the way, when are you seeing her tonight?"

"I'm picking her up at eight."

He narrowed his eyes at me again. "Picking her up? With the limo?"

I smiled easily. "Isn't that what women like?"

Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I know Gina would like it, but Suze is a lot different, Jesse." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Why don't you take my car and I take the limo?"

I considered this while Jake tapped his foot against the marble floor impatiently. "Alright. But don't take advantage of my hospitality."

Jake looked at me in mock-shock. "Would I ever do that?" he asked jokingly. Then he handed me the keys of the car and bolted. I called the limo driver to tell him of the arrangements.

Then, of course, I had to call my agents and let them know of the situation. They would follow me, discreetly, to the restaurant and stay outside - two (one male and one female) would be inside the restaurant, eating dinner, pretending to be on a date - and keep watch.

This was my life. I had to have people watch me constantly. It was not completely like this all of the time. But after my father was assassinated, they upped the security severely. To the point where I could barely even breathe without people saying it was okay to.

I sighed after I hung up the phone. Then I went to sign some papers for a new building production in the area. After I finished that, I went up to my bedchambers (I could not really call it my room, since it was constantly invaded by maids to clean, change sheets, dust, and other things that really did not need to be done) and decided on what to wear. Since I was wealthy, I did have a lot of clothes. But that is not to say that it was I who chose them. No, it was mostly my sisters when they went on shopping sprees. They always bought me clothes, even when I told them that it was not necessary. "But Jesse," they would say, "you have to keep up with the new styles." So I just let them buy the clothes for me. They would not listen anyway.

I ended up choosing a nice button down shirt (a dark olive with some flecks of yellow) and, to clash a little bit, a pair of worn-in jeans. I do not know how long it had been since I had worn them last, considering I was being sent to conference after conference, requiring me to dress nicely, not casually. Surely Susannah would not mind that I was dressing this way. Besides, I was taking her to a restaurant that did not require fancy dressing. It was kind of low-scale, but the food was fantastic. I just hoped she did not dress up _too_ much.

She did not, I noticed when I knocked on the hotel room door. I smiled to myself. This was my opportunity to act like a normal person. Tonight would be my night to have fun and be myself. I would tell her, though. I promised myself I would - and Jake. I _had_ to. Because I knew that if I did not do it tonight, I probably never would.

Gina answered the door and told me to come in. I looked down the hallway and signaled to the bodyguard that was waiting (semi) discreetly near the stairwell that I was going in. He nodded and I walked into the hotel room.

The room, I noted, was rather small. Well, I guess a hotel room _would_ seem small to me, considering my own bed chamber is the size of a normal family living room and den combined.

"She'll be out in a sec," Gina said to me. She gestured to the couch to sit down, but I told her I would stand.

I looked around the room and noticed some take-out boxes on the counter, half eaten, some Coca-Cola and Vitamin Water bottles. Some clothes were also strewn across the room. One, I noticed, was a bra, which made me flush. I looked away and focused on something else, like the window, until Susannah emerged from the bathroom.

When she did, she looked absolutely breath-taking. I sucked in a breath when I saw her, which attracted her attention. She looked surprised to see me - I guess she did not know Gina let me in. Then she smiled, grabbed her purse, and walked over to me. She turned back around to Gina and told her, "I'll be back later."

Then she led us both out the door. We did not really converse on the way down to the car, except for me telling her that she looked beautiful - I also noticed that this caused her cheeks to lightly tinge red. The silence was not uncomfortable, though.

I opened the car door for her when we arrived in the parking lot. I glanced behind me quickly after I shut the door and nodded to the bodyguard near the entrance of the building. I saws him pull out his cell phone to call the other guards to get to the car.

I walked around to the other side of the car and got in. I looked over at Susannah and smiled as I put my seatbelt on. She smiled back at me and asked, "So…is this your car?"

I hesitated, not sure whether to lie or tell her the truth. "No," I ended up saying. "This is Jake's. Mine is, um, in the shop."

"Oh," she said. "Well, tell Jake I said he has a nice car."

I laughed. "I will." Then I put the keys in the ignition, turned it, and started the car. Then I put it into reverse, backed out, put it into drive and drove to the restaurant.

After we were out of the parking lot, Susannah looked at me and asked, "Did you notice all those agent-y looking guys back there? What was up with that?"

I literally froze on the steering wheel. What was I going to say to her? Would she suspect something? She probably would, considering I am not a good liar. I'm surprised she has not figured it out so far.

"I have no idea. There's probably someone important staying there." There, that sounded okay. Hopefully she did not hear the slight shake in my voice.

"Oh, right. Probably." She turned her head and looked out the window, crossing her legs. This caused the skirt of her dress to hike up a little, showing off her silky looking thighs.

I shook my head and focused on the road. _No, de Silva_, I told myself silently, _you are a gentleman. You will not think improper thoughts about her._ Though, of course, no matter what I told myself, I still thought about that, even if I should not have. What was the harm? She did not know what I was thinking, so it was not a bad thing to do.

But what was that saying? Your thoughts become your words, your words become your _actions_. Or something along those lines.

I took a deep breath and tried to rid myself of those thoughts, replacing them with thoughts of Susannah and I eating in the restaurant, no physical contact at _all_.

But, of course, that was not completely true when we were in the restaurant. After we had ordered our food, Susannah smiled rather seductively. She did not say anything, but moments later I felt her bare foot on the pants of my leg.

I looked at her in shock and her smile only widened.

Well, I thought, _if she wants it, then who am I to not oblige her?_

, I thought, 

I smiled back at her. Then I reached across the table, picked up her hand and kissed it. When I let go, I noticed that she was grinning.

"You know, Jesse…you are an amazing guy." I felt myself flush at the compliment. "No, really," she said. "Out of all the guys I've dated…you surpass them all. To be honest, I never even knew there were men like you out there."

I half-smiled. "But I'm not nearly enough of what you deserve," I said. _Because I'm constantly lying to you about who I really am_.

She blinked. "What I deserve? Jesse, come on. Of course you are! If anything, its me who does not deserve _you_."

I looked down at the table. "Oh, I highly doubt that."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, I give up. We're both not good enough for each other. That settled?"

I smiled while twirling the straw in my glass. "Yes, I suppose so. For now."

The rest of the dinner went great. She told me about the things she was studying in college and about some of her friends in America - a goofy guy and a smart albino girl who she said were made for each other. I told her about my sisters and my parents (she already knew they were dead, but I told her what they were like, leaving out the part that they were also royals).

It was a nice dinner and I was not really surprised when we ended up back at her hotel later that night. Gina and Jake were nowhere to be found, but I assumed they were at Jake's house (he has his own house, but he likes to stay with me in the palace, too).

We just meant to talk back at the hotel, but it turned into something more than that. I was not really sure who initiated the kiss, but it spiraled out of control. Before I knew it, both of our shirts were lying on the floor and Susannah was underneath me. I could not really say that I minded, but my head was screaming at me to stop. I knew that it was not right, but I was so overwhelmed with emotions that my body would not listen.

"Jesse," Susannah moaned as I kissed her deeply. She was absolutely beautiful, completely stunning. It is a wonder that she was not already with someone.

I felt myself reach around her back and attempt to undo the clasp with one hand. I was not very experienced in this field, so it was no wonder that I could not do it. Susannah chuckled lightly and reached around to help me undo it.

I smiled at her as I pulled down the straps and tossed the undergarment to the floor. And I admit, when I first saw her chest, I just stared. I had seen a few women topless before, but nothing compared to hers. She was beautiful in every aspect, as if she was created my God Himself.

"Jesse," she laughed and pulled me down to meet her lips. I did so obligingly.

But then I realized that another member of me was a little _too_ happy. I pulled away and looked down at her apologetically. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be…" I groaned and removed myself from the bed.

"Jesse," she started. "Come on. Its alright, I don't mind, believe me."

I ignored her pleas to continue. After all, there was something I needed to tell her. Maybe after I was finished, I would feel better going back to what we were doing.

"Susannah, I…I have to tell you something."

She looked at me and gave me a little smile. She got up off the bed. Then she put her finger to my lips and said, "Shh. I know. Jake already told me." Did I mention she was still topless? It was hard to focus on anything but her perfect bosom.

My eyes widened. "He _what_?"

"He told me, Jesse, and I'm okay with it. I understand. I really do."

I narrowed my eyes. This did not seem right… "What, exactly, did he tell you, Susannah?"

She looked confused. "That you weren't really looking for a fling. You wanted something permanent. And I understand that. That's what you needed to tell me, right?"

"I…yes, it is." I wanted to smack myself. I should have said no and told her the truth. I mean, what Jake had told her was, technically, true, but not the whole truth, which she deserved to know.

She sighed and looked anywhere but at me. "But the thing is, Jesse…I can't have a serious relationship. I…I live in an entirely different country…I need to finish school…" she sighed and looked up at me.

I did not know what to say. I was selfish, that was what I was thinking. Of _course_ she had another life. She could not come to live with me here. What was I thinking?

"You are right, Susannah. I…I was selfish for thinking that you would stay here with me."

She smiled a little, but it faltered. "That…that wasn't just it. Jesse…please don't freak out when you hear this. I'm already ashamed of it…"

I waited for her to continue, but when she did not, I moved closer to her and rested my hand on her cheek, then tilted her head up with my other hand so she could look me in the eye. "You can tell me anything, _querida_."

She hesitated for a few seconds. Then she sighed and admitted almost inaudibly, "I…I'm involved."

I blinked at her confusedly. "Involved? In what?"

She gulped and looked away. "I already have a boyfriend, Jesse."

My eyes widened and I pulled away from her as if she was on fire. What she said…it could not be true…could it? Was she with someone all along?

I refused to look at her. How could she do that to me? _Lie_ to me?

But then I realized that I had lied to her too. But still. Not about something like _that_.

"Jesse," she said in a choked whisper. "Please. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just…this guy…I was going to break up with him before I went away, but he was away on a business trip and I just couldn't do it over the phone. Believe me when I say that I want to be with you, not him. Please."

I shook my head. "Maybe I should go. I'm sorry for wasting your time here." And I turned to leave.

But she shot her arm out and grabbed my shoulder. "Jesse, please. You mean so much to me. What I said in the restaurant is true. I want to be with you. And…and maybe when I finish college I could move here and we _could_ be something permanent."

"It doesn't matter anymore. I have to leave, I'm sorry."

And I left before she could stop me again. Or before my tears could escape my eyes.

- § -

When I got home, I went straight up to my bedchambers. It was only about an hour later that Jake showed up.

"Hey, man," he said, coming into my room.

I looked up briefly and continued looking out the window. I did not even bother saying anything.

Jake came over and sat near me. "What's up? You look…sad. Did something go wrong with Suze?"

"She has a boyfriend," I told Jake, a little bitterly, and looked at him. I also thought about saying something to him about him telling Susannah that I wanted a serious relationship, but I saw no point in doing so.

His eyes widened. "WHAT? Are you serious? Who - oh, wait. That Paul guy? God, I thought she broke up with him ages ago. She said all he was after was sex and shit. I didn't think - I mean, I thought she was single, dude, I'm sorry."

"Its not your fault," I said, looking down. But what he had said made me angry. The guy she was dating was only after sex. Why would she continue to date someone like that? Oh, wait, she told me that she was going to tell him, but he was away on a business trip. "You didn't know."

"Well…did you tell her still?" he asked hesitantly.

"I was going to," I admitted, "but she told me that before I had a chance to tell her. So what does it matter now?"

He sighed. "It matters a lot. My sister…she's a complicated woman, Jesse. She's not like your average chick. There's just something about her…I can't really pinpoint it. But…even if she has a boyfriend, you should still tell her. I'm not going to even if you don't, since its not my business. But…just think about what I said." He got up off the bed and walked toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

I just nodded and he walked out. He was right, though. She was a complicated woman.

Maybe I should go see her and tell her about me. After all, I lied to her, too. So if I could forgive her, maybe she could forgive me for lying to her about who I was.

I got up to do that, but then I sat back down. Who even said that she did not love this man? Maybe she just wanted a fling while she was away and chose me, but was still devoted to this 'Paul' guy.

I don't know what it was, but somewhere inside me, I knew I did not like this guy. And not just because he was with the woman I was in love with. It was something else.

**So...what did ya think...?**

**I hope its good, because I'm actually proud of myself for this.**

**AND...I have the next chapter pretty much finished, so if I get many reviews, maybe there will be a qick update...**

**Happy January 20th,**

**Nicole**


	6. Sacrifice

Chapter 6: Sacrifice

Suze

I wasn't really sure what time it was that I actually fell asleep. It wasn't because there was no clock in the room, but because my eyes were too blurry from the constant flow of tears.

I know. I _know_. I'm crying over a guy.

But…when you like someone that _much_ - maybe even love - then it hurts. A lot.

You try and confess something to him and he just turns around and walks out of your life. Maybe I should have just kept it to myself and never told Jesse. If I did that, then I would not be heart-broken right now.

But I would still have a hefty weight on my conscience. At least now, I was not feeling guilty. Instead, I felt like scum and as if my heart was torn completely out of my chest, leaving a hollow cavity that could never be properly filled again.

And Jesse was probably feeling ashamed of himself for going out with someone who he thought was a whore. Which I'm positive he thinks.

How was I supposed to know, though? How in the hell was I supposed to know that I was going to meet the love of my life on this trip? If I had known, I definitely would have broken up with Paul a long time ago.

But I didn't know. So now I'm sitting in a hotel room, feeling like shit.

Well, its not as if it surprises me. Something like this always happens to me. _Always_. Its like I'm cursed. Well, I already knew that, given this ability I have to see ghosts.

Maybe I should go find him and talk to him. Convince him that I'm not a horrible person and that I made a mistake. But who's to say he would even listen to me when I found him?

_If_ I found him. I was beginning to know him well, but I did not even know where he lived or met any of his sisters. Then I realized that maybe there was something he was hiding from me as well. I mean, all those times I brought up his family and his job…was there something he never told me? Something that he was lying to me about…?

Ah, well I'll never know now. I screwed that up.

I sat at the hotel for a couple hours by myself, waiting for Gina to come back. I was thinking about just packing up my shit leaving. I'm sure the airport would let me use my roundtrip ticket early, with a bit of convincing. I could just leave a note for Gina telling her that I left for home sooner than planned.

But I stayed and waited for her. And guess who should show up while I'm waiting for her? No, not Jesse. That would just be too much to ask for.

No, it was José.

"Have you talked to Hector?" he asked. It was not an impatient question, but I was really not too fond of seeing him at that moment.

I shook my head and replied apologetically, "No, I'm sorry, José. I tried, but they would not let me see him."

He sighed. "But you know him."

I blinked, very confused. "Huh? What - how would I know him?"

He just said again, "You know him," and then he disappeared.

I groaned really loudly after that. Also, I had a huge migraine. GOD, why couldn't ghosts be simple, instead of always leaving cryptic messages and crap? Make things more complicated, why don't you?

Well, after he left, I just sat there, mulling over what he said, until Gina came back. And when she did, boy, did she looked pissed. And I could tell that most of it was centered on me.

Could I not have a good day?

"What," she said, when she first came through the door and saw me sitting glumly on the bed, "happened?"

I looked up at her innocently, noticing that Jake was walking up behind her. He came in and shut the door behind them.

"I don't wanna talk about it," was my mature answer, as I buried my head in my hands.

Gina sighed. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. "Come on, Suze. You can tell me, okay? Jake isn't going to say anything to Jesse, he already swore." She looked over at Jake and smiled sweetly. Then she whispered in my ear, "I told him that if he did and I found out, he wouldn't be getting any for a while."

I shuddered. I would rather not know what they do when they're alone. I mean, I'm happy for them…but its my brother and my best friend. Talk about gross.

"So what happened?" she asked, sitting back on her heels and looking at me intensely.

I sighed and decided to explain. It was no use resisting; she would get it out of me eventually. "Well, we went out to dinner and that was great. Then we came back here and…ahem. But then - "

Gina's eyes bugged out. "You _did_? Wha - "

I realized too late that she thought I meant _all the way_. Ha, I wish.

"No, no. Not…we didn't get that far." I stole a glance at Jake and he was looking at a painting near the bathroom, his gaze completely averted from us on the bed (wow, that kinda sounds dirty…oops).

She looked a little put out after that confession. I thought it should be _me_ who was upset over that fact, but whatever.

"So what happened after that?"

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. Then I opened them and told her, "Then he stopped me and told me there was something he had to tell me. I mean…I just thought it was what Jake told me about him not wanting a fling. But I guess that wasn't it, even though he said it was. But anyway, I told him it was okay and that I understood. And then I felt really guilty because he wanted something serious and I was already going out with someone. So I…I told him about Paul."

Gina shook her head. "Why would you do that, Suze? You had to have known he would have reacted that way."

"I felt guilty for keeping that big a secret from him." Jake snapped his head back to me. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and looked away again.

"Suze…is this better than the guilt?" Gina went on. "Anyway, who's to say he wasn't keeping a secret from you? I mean, he could very well be -"

"Gina," Jake said in a warning tone.

She looked back at him and said, "What? She has a right to know."

He practically growled, "No." Then he realized the tone he said it in and said, "I promised him. He needs to tell her himself."

She sighed and looked back at me. "Well, anyway -"

"Wait," I said. "What? What does he need to tell me? He was keeping a secret from me? What?"

Gina and Jake both remained silent and wouldn't look anywhere near me.

I _knew_ it! I knew Jesse was hiding something from me, too. If it was not a big deal, he would have told me. So…he was getting mad at me (well, with good reason, I guess) when there was something that he was hiding from me as well. Isn't that considered hypocrisy?

"Oh, come on, guys. Just _tell_ me!" I exclaimed.

Gina sighed. "Jake's right. He needs to tell you himself, Suze. Its not our business."

I looked down at the bed and sighed. I wasn't going to argue. I was already drained as it was. I didn't really have much of a fight in me left. I just wanted to go home and sleep for a week and then go to my mom and cry on her shoulder.

I made up my mind then. "Well, I guess he won't get the chance to tell me, then," I said, a bit bitterly.

Gina looked at me, hard. "Why not?"

"I'm leaving in the morning. I'm going home. There's not much of a point in me being here anymore."

"But-but, Suze! Come on!"

I shook my head vigorously. "No, Gina. I've already caused enough trouble here. Besides, Jesse -" God, did it hurt to say his name, " - will find some other girl to date - one who's single, at that. Its not like he's lacking in the looks department, anyway. He could have any fricking girl he wants, and you know that. So what does he want with me?"

Gina ignored the last couple of statements in my tirade and said, "Come on, Suze. Just give it a couple days. I'm sure he'll come around when he realizes that you're the right girl for him."

"Don't you mean 'if'?" I said pessimistically.

She looked confused. "What?"

"_If_ he realizes I'm the right girl for him," I corrected.

She shook her head. "_No_. I meant _when_. God, why are you so negative, Suze? Trust me, he'll come around. Won't he, Jake?" she asked, turning her head to look at my brother - and her…whatever they were.

Jake looked at me and half-smiled. "She's right, Suze. I've known Jesse for quite a while. He'll realize that he made a mistake and he'll come back."

I shook my head. "That may be. But I think its just best if I just go home. I mean, even if he _does_ want me back - which will so never happen - I still do have to break up with Paul."

Gina groaned. "Come on, Suze. Can't you just - "

"Hey," I interjected snappily. "_You_ were the one that said I couldn't break up with him over the phone. So…there."

"Suze, look," she said, fed up. "Just talk to him, okay? If he seems like he really doesn't like you anymore, THEN you can go home. I just think you should give him a little bit of time to process it."

"Yeah, and go bang another girl," I mumbled to myself. Okay, I know that was out of line, and probably not even close to being true, since I knew Jesse was not like that at all. But still.

I think that was when Gina lost her patience. "Fine. FINE. Do whatever the hell you want. But I'm telling you right now. If you want to be with him, you better stay in this god-forsaken country and go talk to him." Then she turned on her heel and left the hotel room.

Jake and I just stared at the door in shock. After we both recovered slightly, Jake looked over at me and frowned. The frown was not directed at me, just at the situation we were currently enveloped in.

"I'm sorry this is happening, Suze. I never thought…I mean…God. I thought you had broken up with that guy. If I had known, I never would have…" He sighed and stood up from the couch. "Look, I should go find her before she gets hit by a car or something. Just…she's right. Think about what she said." He took a step toward me, hesitated, and then walked all the way over to me and gave me a hug. I was a little shocked, to say the least.

I hugged him back and then he pulled away. He smiled awkwardly. "Well, I really hope things work out for you two. See ya later." Then he turned around and walked out of the hotel room.

And I was left alone, yet again.

I sat for a while on the bed, just thinking. I was pondering what Gina said to me. Should I go and talk to him? Try to make him see that I…well, that I loved him? I mean, if you could fall in love with someone over the course of a week, which was the amount of time that we spent with each other.

But who's to say that he hasn't already moved on? Maybe he has already forgotten about me and moved on to another girl - one who wants a serious relationship. Well, I mean, I _do_ want a serious relationship with him, but doesn't think that I do.

Ugh. This sucks.

I ended up deciding, though, that I would go see him and talk to him. I _needed_ to. I needed him to see that I did care for him and that I _did_ want to be with him.

So that was when I left the hotel room, not caring in the slightest what I must have looked like. It was after I was outside the hotel that I realized I had no idea where he would be - since, after all, I didn't know where he lived, and…well, I couldn't bring myself to go call Jake or Gina and ask where he was.

So I just stood there and mentally smacked myself. How could I be so _stupid_? Honestly. I mean, I never considered myself a genius, but come _on_.

Wait…the beach.

That one night he took me to the beach. That one little area where he said he came with his sisters sometimes. Maybe…_hopefully_, he would be there.

- § -

Surprisingly, I was right. Jesse was there when I came across that little strip of beach. He was sitting in the sand with his shoulders hunched, facing the water.

And I instantly felt like a bitch. God, how could I do that to someone so caring like him?

I began walking, albeit slowly and fearfully, toward the beach. I didn't want him to hear me coming. I wanted to surprise him.

Then I saw something that shocked me. I saw something kind of glinting, sticking out of the bush - the one I had thought I saw a man in that one night we were there - and realized, with a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that it was a gun.

And it was aimed at Jesse.

Without thinking at all (because, really, if I had thought before doing it, I probably wouldn't have done it), I ran and leaped on the bush. The person holding the gun must have been shocked and hit the trigger of the gun. I was not sure where it actually went off, but I know it didn't hit Jesse.

The guy rolled out of the bush, trying to get me off of him, because, as gross as it sounds, I was on top of him, trying to wrestle the gun from him.

"You son of a bitch," I growled, for some reason really aggravated. I mean, he was trying to kill Jesse, so why wouldn't I be pissed off?

I pulled back my arm and laid a punch in the guy's face. I heard something satisfyingly crack.

Then a strip of moonlight shone on his face and I realized who this guy was. I had seen - and met - this guy before.

He was the guy from the bus ride.

God, I _knew_ he was some kind of murderer.

That just angered me even more and I began raining punches down on this guy.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jesse standing up and beginning to walk over here. "Susannah?" I heard him call incredulously.

Meanwhile, the guy still had the gun in his hand and if he just lifted it up a little, he could seriously injure Jesse, and that I did not want to happen.

So I stopped punching the guy and tried to grab the gun away from him. But he knew what I was aiming for, so he held it out of my reach - but it was pointed away from Jesse, which was a good thing.

The guy, finally recognizing who I was, growled, "You little bitch. You ruined _everything_." I noticed that his accent was gone. He had faked an accent on the bus.

And then I realized…he _knew_ that I was with, and would be with, Jesse. He was the guy that was hiding in the bush when Jesse took me here the other night. So when he saw that it was me on the bus, he was trying to get with me, to get closer to Jesse….so he could kill him.

God, stupid people. Why can't everyone just be civil? And who would even want to hurt someone like Jesse? I never thought someone like him would even _have_ any enemies. But apparently I thought wrong. Hm…what a surprise.

I saw Jesse coming closer into view and, being the stupid person that I am, I looked up, weakening my grip on the fake beneath me. It was enough for the guy to fling me off of him and point the gun at me. While I was a couple yards away from him, the gun, thankfully, was not pointed at my head.

But still. A gun was pointed at me.

"Stay where you are," he commanded. I thought he was talking to me at first, but then I noticed him looking at Jesse. "And the girl stays alive."

I looked at Jesse, but could not see whether he was afraid or not. Actually, I could not tell if he was displaying any sort of emotions on his face, since it was basked in darkness, due to him facing away from the moon and its (rather unusual, for that night, anyway) brightness.

I was not really sure what really happened next. I remember Jesse standing stock still, not daring to move. Then I remember hearing some else's voice, which kind of sounded like Jake…

"Drop the gun and freeze," commanded the voice.

I was not really concentrating on the voice, but rather the gun that was aimed at my abdomen. I knew, if he happened to shoot, that it could be a potentially fatal injury and I was trying to will the guy to not shoot at me.

But, as (bad) luck has it, that was not how the events unfolded.

Instead, the guy, in reaction to the voice, pulled the trigger, sending a bullet into me. I was almost positive that it hit me in the stomach. Although, my ears were ringing so hard that I could have sworn that he shot me there instead.

All I knew was that I was shot and that Jesse jumped in front of me to try and stop the bullet, to no avail. Instead, he pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head, whispering to me that everything would be alright, that an ambulance was on its way.

I heard Jake wrestling with the guy, who I had noticed was in handcuffs and being shoved into a police car when the ambulance arrived.

There was not much that I remembered after that, except for the fact that Jesse whispering into my ear, "I'm sorry, _querida_," as if he had let me down.

But, after all, it was not _his_ fault that the guy had shot me.

**Okay, sorry this took that long to update. Well, its an improvement from before, but its still bad. Sorry. But in my defense, I was sick. I had a 101 fever for two days. Yeah, I guess I could have written, but I wasn't really up to it. Oh, and add to the fact that some drug/gang leader wants to kill my older brother, and one of my two best friends has been ditching me and my other best friend for three straight weekends, well, then you have quite an excuse.**

**Anyway, yeah, review, please. **

**This time, I'm not making any promises, though. It'll be up when its up, but I'll try and make it as soon as possible. **


	7. Waiting For Consciousness

Chapter 7: Waiting for Consciousness

Jesse

I was not really aware of how long I had spent in her hospital room. It surely had been at least a couple of hours, considering the darkness outside. Still, it seemed longer than it really was.

Because she still had not awoken.

I did not know what to expect, really. I mean, she _was_ shot in the stomach, which would have certainly damaged her internal organs. I was fully aware that she might not ever regain consciousness…

And it was all because of me.

I still could not fathom why she would go to those lengths for me. Jump on a guy aiming a gun at me, I mean. She…well, should could not love me, could she? After all, she never told me that. But…she did tell me she cared for me a lot, and that she would choose me over her 'boyfriend' any day (well, more or less).

So this whole situation - Susannah getting shot and lying in a hospital bed - was all my fault. If I had just listened to her, let her explain, and believed her, then she would not have gone down there to talk to me, and she would be perfectly safe.

And…then I probably would have told her who I was.

But even if I did get that chance, who's to say that she would think of me the same way? There was, unfortunately, not much of a chance of her wanting to stay with me. I had, after all, been lying to her since the day I met her, and _surely_ she would not want to be the wife of a king.

Well, I guess I would have to wait until she woke up to know.

But leading the life I did, I could not sit there and wait for her, like I wanted to. Instead, I had to go to a conference with the President of the United States. I wonder what he would have thought of me being in love with one of his citizens.

I was pretty sure he probably would not care.

Still, I endured the excruciatingly slow conference with the President. After it was over, I said my goodbyes to him and rushed over to the hospital.

But if I expected anything, the hope was sadly crushed, for Susannah was still lying on the hospital bed, unconscious. And, as I learned from Gina, who was also in there with Jake, she had not woken up at all, during the time that I was gone.

I cursed silently in Spanish. Why was this happening? Things could not just be happy for me, could they?

I sat in the little plastic chair in the room with my head in hands. It felt abnormally heavy at that moment, as if my head was too filled with thoughts and questions and it could not stay up by itself.

It was only a few moments after I sat down that I felt a hand on my shoulder. Thinking, for some stupid reason, that it was Susannah, I snapped my head up and looked at the person standing next to me. All the hope that I had had disappeared and was replaced with sorrow - something I was beginning to get used to now.

Jake must have noticed the sudden change in my face because he sighed - rather dramatically I must say.

"Jesse, don't beat yourself up over this, okay? I know Suze…she'll come around. She's a very strong woman, man. She was in the hospital loads of times back when she was in high school and she always healed fast. So don't worry too much."

I looked at him, my face deadpan, and said, "Well, you wouldn't be saying that if it was the woman you loved on a hospital bed, unconscious."

He sighed again. "What happened to you? You were always the one telling _me_ to have faith in God, but now…you've changed. You really have."

I looked away. He was right, after all. I had changed. I knew it. But there was nothing I could do to help that. It seemed like everything I became attached to was taken away from me, one way or another. At least…I still had my sisters.

Speaking of which, one of them burst through the door a few seconds after Jake said that to me.

Marta stood in the middle of the room, then her eyes fell on me. "Jesse," she said, marching right up to me with a look of determination on her face, "have you gone completely insane?"

I blinked, not knowing what she was talking about. "What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about you going around without a bodyguard last night. You could have been killed!"

I looked down at the floor, the spotless white tiles. "I know," I mumbled. There were a lot of things that I regretted about the night before, and the many nights before that. But what could I do now? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Marta went on, "One of the maids told me what happened, Jesse. I had to hear it from a maid! How could you be so _stupid_? We already lost _madre_ and _padre_. We don't need to lose you, too!"

"Marta, please. I just…please calm down." She was giving me a headache. Or, actually, increasing the one I already had.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Oh, don't go feel - " She stopped herself, then, as if finally realizing where exactly she was. She looked over at Susannah, shocked. "Wha - why are you even here? Who is that girl on the bed?"

I sighed and raised my eyes to meet my little sister. "She's the one who saved my life, Marta. She…she saved me, before I could save her."

Realizing that that wasn't just who she was, Marta scrutinized me. "Is that the girl you've been seeing lately, Jesse?"

I groaned. "Yes. Now will you please leave?"

"No," she said defiantly. Her hard features had turned softer when she looked back at me. "I want to be here to thank her for saving you. Jesse…I don't know what I - _we_ - would do without you."

I was touched by what she said. I knew my sister loved me, and I loved her, but to hear it from her like that…well, it made tears come to my eyes, as corny as it sounds. However, I had more pressing issues to get back to.

"I know, Marta. But I think she might be a little shocked to see you in here. She doesn't even know who you are."

She narrowed her eyes. "You mean…you haven't told her about me?"

I half-laughed. That was Marta, always having to be the center of attention. "Not specifically. I briefly mentioned all of you, but not individually."

She put her hands on her hips and stuck her chin out defiantly. "How could you not have told her about _me_, though, Jesse?"

"Well - " I started, but someone cut me off. Someone who I forgot was even in the room, watching and listening to the conversation.

"Marta, he hasn't even told her who he is yet, let alone telling her about you."

If looks could kill, I swear Jake would have been dead right there. Because, frankly, I gave him the glaring of a lifetime.

Marta, of course, reacted the way I figured she would. Her eyes widened…and then she started telling me off.

"Are you insane? What the hell is wrong with you, Hector?" I cringed. She only called me Hector when she was angry with me. And she sure was angry with me then. _Dios_, how I hated that name. It was still a mystery to me as to why my parents would choose a name like that for their first - and only, but they did not know it at the time - son.

Marta continued with her interrogation, only, well, she did not even wait for answer from me.

"You date this girl and you do not even tell her that you're the king of the country? What, were you planning on telling her on your wedding day? Oh, that would so go over well. I cannot believe that I have such an _idiot_ for a brother." She groaned loudly.

Marta was speaking so loudly that I would not be surprised if Susannah awakened then. Actually, it would seem impossible if she did not awaken then.

Having must heard my loud sister, a nurse came in and told us there was too much noise and that only the immediate family of the patient was allowed. Gina told the nurse that the immediate family was not present, but her best friend and 'boyfriend' were. The nurse's eyes widened when she said boyfriend, while pointing to me.

"I did not know His Highness was seeing anyone," the nurse said while giggling. I could tell, when she walked away, that she would start gossiping with the other nurses.

This was not going the way it was supposed to.

"That's the way it was supposed to be," I found myself mumbling, while staring at the floor. It seemed a better sight then anything else in the room at that moment. Well, other than Susannah, of course. Even on a hospital bed, unconscious, she still managed to look beautiful.

My sister, seeing the distress that I was currently in, walked forward and talked to the nurse. I was not really paying attention to what either of them was saying, but it was not a minute later that the nurse apologized hastily and left the room.

"Back to our conversation, Hector." I really wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear right then. My sister could be unbelievably ruminant when she wanted to. And it sure seemed like she wanted to then.

"Marta…please. it's a hospital room. She…she's unconscious. Have _some_ respect. If not for me, then at least for Susannah."

She looked like she was about to protest again, but instead she narrowed her eyes into little slits and said in a voice full of disgust, "We will talk about this at home." And then she spun on her heel and tore out of the room.

I was more relieved than ever to be away from my eldest little sister then. She could be completely irritating at times - although, she _was_ right.

After she left, I stared at a picture on the wall. It was by Salvador Dalí. The one with the melting clocks…what was it called again? Ah, yes. The persistence of the memory. How could I forget, with him being one of my mother's favorite artists. That was probably the reason it was even hanging on the wall opposite of me.

I was not sure how long it was that I was staring at the painting, wishing so many times that I could jump into the picture and change time, _any_thing to alter what had happened the night before. However, it was long enough for Jake to call my name and look at me worriedly. I looked over at him and asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," he said, "at least not with me. You on the other hand…well, I think you should go home and rest. You seriously look like you could use it."

I shook my head. "I cannot go back there. Not with my sister on the rampage. And besides…I want to be here when she wakes up. I want…I want her to know how much she means to me."

I saw a smile creep onto Gina's face. "So does that mean that you forgive her?" she asked slyly.

I hesitated, unsure of what I should say to her. I mean, yes, I had forgiven her, but it still hurt that she lied to me about that. But then I remember that I had been lying to her all along, too. So I ended up replying, "Yes, that means I forgive her."

Gina grinned. "Oh, she'll be happy to hear that when she wakes up."

When she wakes up. Those four words brought me back into my world of guilt. Guilt for having caused Susannah to be shot. Guilt that was well deserved, too.

I sighed to myself. When will this end?

Hopefully when she wakes up.

**Sorry, its not really that long, but I'm hoping the next chapter will be longer. And Suze is finally gonna find out about him...I think.**


	8. Confessing?

Chapter 8: Confessing?

Suze

I had been in the hospital many times before. I knew what it felt like when you first woke up. It hurt. A _lot_. There was always the same blinding white light when you open your eyes…so much so that you have to close them again…

But this time…it was beyond painful. I was in agony before I even opened my eyes. And once I did, it only served to increase the pain.

I wanted - no, _needed_ - some painkillers, morphine, _any_thing, and fast. Unintentionally, I cried out in pain. It was unbearable. And the place that hurt the most was my stomach…

…oh, God…was I having a _baby_? Or, God forbid, I had already had it and the doctors had to perform a cesarean section to get the baby out of me?

Okay, shut up. That happened to be one of my first thoughts upon waking up and discovering that my stomach was in immense pain. And I didn't even bother to think that I hadn't even been pregnant.

After my cry of pain, I saw someone in the corner of the room stir. They were sleeping, slumped in the chair, in one of the most uncomfortable positions I had ever seen. But they were not sleeping for long. It was only a few seconds later that I realized who the slumped figure in the chair was. And right then, I really did not feel up to talking to them. I mean, I _had_ just woken up.

"Susannah?" Jesse asked groggily. It looked like he was not sure if I was really awake or not. I guess what he saw answered his unasked question, since he got up out of the chair and began walking over to me. "Oh, thank _Dios_," he breathed when he saw that I was awake.

If I was able to smile, I would have then. Seeing him like that, all worried for me, it made me want to smile. However, due to the amount of painkillers and morphine that must have been pumping through my blood - not that it was working that greatly, though, if the pain I was feeling was any indication - I could not move a muscle in my face. And, I feared, if I tried to talk, he would not be able to understand me, since my mouth felt like the Sahara Desert.

He seemed to understand this, though, since he leaned down and kissed me. It was short and sweet, but it was enough to let me know that I was forgiven for what I had done to him. And I was happy, because that was what I was worried about most - whether or not he could ever forgive me for doing that.

Jesse pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered. "I don't know what I would have done if you…" he trailed off and pecked me on the lips. "I'm so sorry."

He was sorry? For WHAT?

I wanted to tell him it was all okay. That he didn't have to be sorry for everything. That _I_ was the one who was sorry.

But, alas, I could not, for my mouth was as dry as sand on the hottest day of the year.

"Susannah?" Jesse said questioningly, realizing that I was not saying anything. Then, guessing what was wrong, he said, "oh," and poured me a glass of water from the pitcher beside the hospital bed.

I gulped the water down greedily and took a huge breath. "Thanks," I croaked out. Okay, that was better, but I sounded like a frog. Ah, whatever. Its not as if it really matters anymore. He's already seen me in a hospital bed, looking like shit, so what does it matter if my voice sounds like I just swallowed a frog?

He smiled in response. "How are you feeling?" he asked tentatively.

"Well," I said, "besides the fact that it feels like someone cut a huge hole in my stomach and left it there, and the fact that my head feels like its going to split open, just peachy. How about you?"

"Do you want me to get a doctor?" he asked worriedly.

My eyes widened. "No. No, that's fine. I don't…no." Although…they would bring more painkillers…

"No, I'm going to get a doctor. They should know you're awake, too. You _have_ been out for a fairly long time, Susannah."

"Jesse - " I started, but it was too late. He was already out the door to the room. For the minute and a half he was gone, the room felt like it was a void, like it was completely empty. I sighed and slumped back in the bed. Great. Doctors. Just what I needed.

Moments later there were doctors everywhere. Prodding and poking. They did what they had to do, asked some questions, and then left. I was more relieved than ever when they did.

Jesse came over to me after the doctors left and smiled. "Feeling any better?" he asked sexily.

I smiled lazily. "Actually, I can't feel much now, so I'm not really sure."

He chuckled a little as he raised his hand to my face and stroked my cheek. "Can you feel this?" he asked, his voice getting really deep.

I smiled. "Yes," I practically whispered.

A smile tugged at his lips, and then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. A moment later his tongue swept in, claiming mine in a fierce battle. And then he pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, saying, "There's something I need to tell you."

I blinked. The drugs were seriously starting to take effect, so I could not comprehend much. "Okay."

He pulled his head away from mine and pulled up a chair. "But before I do," he went on, "I want to know something."

"Okay," I said again.

"Why did you do that?" he asked, his voice wavering.

I blinked again. "Do what?"

"Jump on that guy with the gun. _Save_ me."

I looked at him curiously. Even on the drugs, I knew that wasn't normally what you would ask someone who had saved you from being killed.

"You would have done the same for me…wouldn't you have?"

He smiled reassuringly. "Well, yes, but - "

"Everyone needs to be saved, Jesse. No matter who they are."

I was actually surprised that those words came out of my mouth, considering the drugged stupor I was in. But Jesse seemed to accept those words. He kissed my forehead and whispered a 'thank you'.

"Now what did you need to tell me?" I asked, my eyes beginning to grow heavy.

He hesitated. "What I need to tell you…well, its…Susannah, please, do not think of me any differently…"

But if he said any more after that, I didn't hear it, since I drifted off to dream land.

- § -

When I woke up next I was completely alone. The sunlight was filtering through the sheer white drapes on the windows, making the room seem even brighter than before. It reflected off the Salvador Dali painting on the wall, creating a mild glare on the picture.

I sighed, ready to fall back asleep. Surprisingly, I wasn't feeling much pain, like when I woke up earlier. I was very content. And I realized that I wasn't tired, so sleeping was not really an option. Instead, I noticed there was a remote on the bedside and I picked it up. I turned back around and pointed it at the television, turning it on. The news was on.

Hmm…well, I didn't really know the channels here. And considering it was a different country, there would probably not be any Spongebob or Comedy Central to watch, so I just stuck with the news.

They were reporting on some overturned truck, and then it switched to a picture of a little girl, who apparently was just found, after being missing for three months. Well, at least she was alive. Saves me from having to mediate her.

Speaking of mediation…ugh, I still have to contact the king! I still have no idea how I'm going to do that. How _do_ you do that? I guess I'm gonna have to talk to José again and ask him. Though considering the last time I talked to him he went all cryptic on my ass…

Ugh. This mediation thing? Yeah, not a cup of tea. Especially when you can't get in contact with the relatives of the dead person. And _especially_ when that relative happens to be a king. There is no _way_ that I'm going to be able to talk to the guy. I mean, really.

The news switched to a story about, coincidentally, the king. I paid close attention. Maybe there would be some information that I could use to my advantage.

"_…Maybe our dear king has found love after all…After the startling death of his mother and then the assassination of his father, we thought the poor guy would never get back on his feet. But he has…and with a beautiful American citizen. That's right folks, the leader of our country is involved with an AMERICAN! Well, maybe this will help our ties with America…"_

An American? Huh, small world, I guess.

The newscaster kept talking about their relationship and then the screen changed to some pictures. And when I saw them…

The remote clattered to the floor.

And who should walk through the door right as the pictures appeared on the screen? Well, I guess it would be His Highness.

Because guess what was on the screen? Pictures of JESSE. And me. On the beach together that one day, and then in the restaurant that one night with Gina and Jake. And…oh, my God.

"Susannah? Oh, you're up. I came in to see if you wanted something to eat…" He trailed off when he noticed my face. Then he looked at the TV screen and his face went pale. He then muttered to himself in Spanish.

I turned to him and shook my head. "How…how could you? Why didn't you _tell_ me? What, was I supposed to be some kind of secret you kept? Your little secret American girlfriend? Well, it doesn't look like it's a secret anymore, Jesse!"

Jesse just looked at me with solemn eyes. "Susannah, please. No, that's not…" He groaned. "You…I wanted to tell you plenty of times. I was going to tell you last night, but you fell asleep…" He sighed. "Its hard, okay? You have to see that. I…I didn't think you would want to be with me if you knew I was the king."

I shook my head in irritation. How could he? "But you played me a fool, Jesse! All this time…I just thought you were an ordinary guy, but all this time you were royalty." Realization dawned on me. "Oh, God…"

José. That…that must be Jesse's father, then. But José called him Hector, not Jesse…

Maybe Hector was a nickname…but who the hell would have that as a nickname? Okay, so maybe Jesse was the nickname, but Jesse just wanted me to call him by that, not Hector. And with good reason, too.

It had to be true. Everything pointed to it. José said his son was the king, and Jesse was the kind now (which I only just found out). And Jesse had said his mother died and then his father was assassinated, or killed, and that's the same thing they said on the news -

"Susannah, _querida_, I'm sorry - "

I went ballistic. Maybe it was the drugs, I don't know. "Don't call me that!" I shrieked. "I don't know what it means, but I'm not your _querida_ anymore. I…I can't believe that you would _deceive_ me like that! I thought I had finally…fuck!"

Jesse seemed taken aback by my outburst. "Susannah - "

"No! Just…just go away!"

I didn't know what to think, what to do. How could he lie about something like that? Blatantly lie to me the whole time we were together about who he was. There were so many times he could have told me, but he didn't. And even after I told him about Paul…

Well, okay. So I lied too. But at least I confessed to it! I told him and he got mad at _me_. He had the nerve to get pissed at me because I had lied to _him_. What a hypocrite!

"Susannah, please. Just listen to me. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you since the first day I met you. I just…I didn't want you to think any differently of me. I knew that this is what would happen if I told you, that you wouldn't want to be with me because of who I am, and that's why I prolonged it so much."

I shook my head. "No," I said. "I'm not mad about the fact that you're a king. I'm mad about the fact that you lied to me like that. Yes, I lied to you, too, but I told you. I didn't leave it for you to find out for yourself. It just makes me wonder what else you've been lying to me about…" I trailed off and looked at him.

"I…" He looked at a loss for words. "There is nothing else I have been lying to you about. I promise you. I…I love you. I just…I thought I had found the one woman that would treat me like I was normal, not royalty and I wanted to hold on to that." He stopped and then sighed, before continuing. I let him speak, having no heart to stop him. "I know that you are mad. I can understand that. I have forgiven you…is there any way that you can forgive me? I know my wrongdoings and I regret them so much, but I cannot go back and change them. I must live with it now. Please," he begged. "Please, just forgive me."

I looked at him, tears filling up my eyes. "I…I can't. Not yet. Please, just leave for now. Let me think in peace."

And suddenly, his face was completely devoid of emotion. It amazed me that he could do that. He nodded and then left the room. After his presence was gone, the room felt empty again.

And so did I.

**Not much to say here except _REVIEW_. : )**


	9. Unknown Departure

I think I'm starting to get back into this updating thing. I just updated Inferiority and now this. Maybe my writer's block finally went out. -knocks on wood-

Well, anyway, here's a new chapter of MQ. Hope ya like it. Please remember to review!!

* * *

Chapter 9: Unknown Departure

Jesse

She hates me.

That was the only thing I could think as I was walking out of her room and strolling silently down the corridor. She hates me. And it was all my fault. If I had just…

No. So many times I thought '_if'_. Well, no, I did not do the things I _should_ have done, so there was no point in thinking '_if_'. What was done was done and there was nothing I could do about it.

It still hurt, though. I told her I love her and still she told me to leave, to get out. She hates me.

And I love her. More so than I ever have anything or anyone in my life before.

Well, as they say, opposites attract.

But she did not seem to be attracted to me anymore.

And now I have to find another girl to marry. Susannah obviously wants nothing more to do with me. And with good reason. Who wants to be with someone who lied to her about his identity? No one.

I shook my head and cursed myself silently. What was wrong with me? Was I not capable of keeping the people I loved?

Apparently not.

I just could not help but think 'Well, she lied to me, too. Shouldn't she give me some sort of pardon?'. But that would not happen. True, she had lied to me about her having a boyfriend, but she at least told me about it. I failed to tell her and that was what made her angry.

Timing is everything, my friends.

She told me to leave, to let her think in peace, but did that mean she never wanted to see me again? I was not sure. I wanted to just go to Parliament and see if there was some prime minister I could meet in another country, just to get out of here.

But what if she did want to see me again and I was gone? What would she think then?

I sighed and called one of the bodyguards that was downstairs, waiting in the car. They were at the entrance to the hospital when I walked down the stairs.

"Sir," he said, nodding to me. He and the other bodyguard walked behind me as we got to the limousine. The driver was standing outside and he opened the door for me as I got in.

I was driven back to the palace, where I had lunch with my sisters. Marta asked me about Susannah, but I stayed silent. She must have gotten her answer, since she pestered me no longer. Well, for a short amount of time, anyway. Afterwards, I was informed that Parliament wanted to see me.

After lunch, my youngest sister, Mercedes, came up to me and hugged me. It was not unusual for her, since she gave hugs to practically everyone who was near her. Being only seven years old, she still trusted mostly everyone that she was acquainted with.

I laughed and hugged her back. It was a difficult feat, considering the height difference between us, but I still managed. I had to pry her off me when she did not let go. "Mercedes, you have to let go. I have to go to a meeting, _querida_."

She looked up at me and jutted her lower lip out. "But Jesse, you are never home anymore. I miss you all the time."

I smiled down at her with a tinge of sadness. She was right. I rarely was home, and even when I was, I was too busy doing work.

"Tell you what," I said, picking her up and resting her on my hip, "I'll take you with me."

She grinned from ear to ear. "Really, Jesse? I can come with you?"

I smiled back at her. "Of course you can. But I'm telling you, it is very boring. You probably won't have a fun time."

She shrugged. "That's alright. As long as I'm with you. You're the only exciting one nowadays. All Marta ever talks about is this guy Peter and Josefina, Savannah, and Esperanza only talk about boys, too. At least you talk about girls. Its different."

I raised my eyebrows when she mentioned Peter. I felt the urge to be protective, to go and question this 'Peter' guy, but then I waved the urge off. I remember what happened last time I did that. Let's just say my fists happened to be involved. And then there was a very upset Marta.

So I just settled for shaking my head and kissing her forehead. "Its better that I talk about girls, huh?" I asked her as I began walking back toward the parlor, where a guard was waiting for me.

She nodded and said, "Yeah. Marta told me about Susannah. Can I meet her, Jesse? Marta said she was really pretty."

I attempted to smile at that, but failed miserably. Mercedes noticed this and asked, "What's wrong? Did she go home?"

"No, _querida_, she is still here. I am not too sure she wants to see me, though. You see, I upset her and I'm not too sure if its something she can forgive me for." It was odd, I felt more comfortable discussing this with my youngest sister, rather than Marta, who would definitely be more knowledgeable in that department. Maybe it was because Mercedes never really judged me.

She tilted her head and looked at me. "Why wouldn't she forgive you, Jesse? If she loves you, then she'll forgive you."

I smiled. Ah, to be young and naïve. "I hope that's the case, Cedes. I really do."

Mercedes came with me to the Parliament meeting and, as expected, she grew bored very quickly and started fidgeting. The members of Parliament, I could tell, were getting rather impatient with her, but they did not say anything. I was sure, though, that they were relieved when we left.

During the meeting, I was once again reminded that I had to get married soon. It was down to about two months. I was really running out of time. What, I wondered, would Parliament do if I did not find a wife by the deadline? Force me to marry someone?

I seriously hoped that would not be my fate. Somehow, someway, I swore to myself that I would make it up to Susannah. I would make it so she believed me and loved me again.

Because, honestly, I could not live without her.

- § -

When I arrived back at the palace I was greeted by Jake waving an envelope in my face. Mercedes laughed and ran toward the direction of her room.

"What is this?" I asked, grabbing the envelope out of his hands.

He shrugged. "Just read it."

I nodded and opened it up. By reading the first line I knew it was from Susannah.

Dear Jesse,

I am not too good at organizing my thoughts, so this letter will be a little jumbled.

I am sorry. There is not much else that I can say to express how I feel. You said you loved me and I'm pretty sure I feel the same about you, but have you ever thought that that is not enough? I know I have.

The reason I'm writing this in a letter is because I left this morning. I just could not see you again before I left, that's why I didn't say goodbye. If I hurt you, I'm sorry. Although, I guess we're pretty even now, huh? We both tried to deceive each other. Look how that worked out.

God, it still feels weird to think that you are a King. I never thought that I would have dated a royal. A lawyer, maybe, but nothing like a King. Makes me feel a little special. I'm not too sure what you could say made you feel special about dating me. Maybe my fabulous sense of humor? My keen fashion sense?

But anyway. You must have seen that this would not work out. We are from two COMPLETELY different worlds, Jesse. I'm still in college and I live all the way across the Atlantic. Talk about a long distance relationship.

Who knows? Maybe five or ten years down the road we might meet again and we could take it from there. But now…it just won't work now. I'm sorry to have to break it to you.

But I promise you, just for your sake, I WILL break up with Paul. I know I deserve better than someone who only wants me 'cause I'm good in the sack. Or, that's what I like to think, anyway.

I looked up to see that Jake had left me alone. I was standing in the middle of the lobby. So I walked over to the loveseats and sat down on one.

I don't really know what else to say. I was never really great at these letter things.

But there is one other thing that you need to know. Please don't be shocked to hear this, either. Well, er, read it, I guess would be more correct. Don't question it, just believe it. That's all I'm asking.

Your father wants me to tell you that he wants you to be happy. He knows you are not truly happy now and he said he wants you to do anything that makes you happy, no matter what that is.

Well, I guess that's it. Have a happy life, Jesse.

Yours,

Susannah

I did not know what to think after I finished that. I read it over about five more times before I set it down next to me and rubbed my eyes with the back of hand.

The thing that struck me the most - even more than what she said about my father - was the fact that she said she loved me. And that she had already left.

Without saying goodbye.

I sighed and started walking back to my room.

What she said about my father though…well, how could I help but not question it? How could she possibly have seen him when he's dead? I know I told her about him, so she must know it. So how could she have talked with him? How could he have talked with her? It just did not seem possible. But wait…

"Death is a hard thing to overcome, to most people. But to me its just a fact of life. People die, but it doesn't mean that they're gone forever."

Susannah looked up at me, agog. "You know," she said slowly. "I've always thought the same thing. I miss my dad, but I know he's still around, watching over me."

…she could not see the dead, could she? I mean, I always thought those people on television were just trying to scam people. But Susannah…maybe she was the real thing.

I sighed and put my head in my hands. It was all just so frustrating. Why couldn't things be simple?

Then a thought hit me. I knew what I had to do. I had to talk to her again.

I had to go to America.


	10. Unexpected Arrivals

* * *

Chapter 10: Unexpected Arrivals

I still felt bad about leaving without saying goodbye. But, well, what else could I do? I don't know what I would have done if I saw him before I left. I probably wouldn't have left, is what would have happened.

Well, that might not seem like such a bad thing, but it kind of is. I mean, he's probably so much better off now that I'm not there. At least I won't lead assassins near him anymore. Well, I hope.

I really hope Gina is okay. She is still over there, with Jake. We were actually planning to stay for a month, since we had five weeks off of college for winter break. But since I came back super early, I have nothing to do.

I mean, I guess I could go get a job or something. At least that might take my mind off of things.

Or I could just go do the inevitable and break up with Paul.

Except, I really don't feel like doing that. I mean, I _want_ to break up with him, but I know he will totally flip. And I really don't think I could put up with that at the moment.

Well, whatever. I'll make my decision as soon as the taxi drops me off at our apartment. You know, since I wasn't quite there yet.

But if I had known what I was going back to, I would have just stayed at the airport. Seriously.

Because who should be in my apartment when I walk through the door?

Well, if you guessed Paul Slater, you would be correct.

Because he was there, laying on my bed, his arms folded under his head. And despite the fact that I wanted to break up with him, I still couldn't hold back the urge to kiss him. Because, really, he is hot. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist (a female one, at least…or maybe a gay one) to figure that out.

He looked up at me as soon as I shut the door behind me. He smiled lazily and said, "Well, if it isn't the little princess."

When he said princess, I looked at him sharply. For a moment, I thought maybe he knew about Jesse and me (which, in reality, probably wouldn't have been a difficult feat, considering his country's media went haywire over it. Who's to say America didn't?). But he didn't seem to let on that he knew anything. He was actually looking at me with a small smile playing on his lips.

I groaned. "Paul, I really don't need your shit right now. I'm pretty stressed out as it is."

He scowled. "Well, gee, sorry if I wanted to see my girlfriend, who I haven't seen in two weeks."

That was my opportunity. It really was. I should have taken it and just said, 'You know what, Paul? Yeah, this girlfriend-boyfriend thing? It just ain't working out between us. Sorry.'

Well, its not like I was afraid of breaking his heart or something. I mean, if it was even possible to do that to Paul Slater. I had come to the conclusion a long time ago that you couldn't really damage his heart or his ego.

The reason I didn't do it is because I didn't feel like answering the inevitable 'why?'.

"Whatever," I settled for saying. "I'm just tired."

He walked up to me and put his arms around my waist. He looked down at me with a grin that I could only describe as wolfish. "I could wake you up _real_ fast."

"I'm sure you could, Paul. But I'm just not in the mood right now."

He slowly unwound his arms from my waist and took a step back from me. "Okay," he said, sounding fed up, "what happened?"

I really wanted to be all, 'well, I found this really amazing guy when I was away. But I really fucked it up because I was going out with you. Oh, and he happened to be the King of the country.' But I didn't.

"I really don't feel like discussing it right now, okay? I'm tired. And I wanna sleep."

He smiled again, but not completely warmly. "Alright, let's go to sleep. I'm exhausted from work myself."

I didn't move from my spot. I just stared at Paul, standing my ground. "Paul, look. I just wanna be alone right now, alright? I just…I need to think in peace. Without you."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What the hell went on while you were over there? Did some guy touch you? Tell me, Suze. I'll go kick his ass for you."

Ha, if only he knew how close he was. Only Jesse laid more than a hand on me. But Paul didn't really need to know that little detail there.

I groaned. Lying through my teeth, I said, "No one touched me, Paul. I'm jet-lagged from the trip. And Gina met up with Jake over there. There, that's it, okay? Now can you leave so I can go to sleep?"

I looked at him and he walked toward me until I could feel his breath on my cheek. "There's something else, isn't there? Something you don't want to tell me?"

Okay, I really didn't know how I was getting out of this one. It was quite the complicated position.

"Paul, I told you everything. Please, _please_, let me go to sleep."

He put his shoulders on my arms and stared down into my eyes, searching for something. "You met someone there, didn't you? Someone you think is better than me. Someone you would rather be with than me. Well, who is it? I want to know what I'm up against."

I was really hoping he would not catch on this fast. I suppose I underestimated him. He _is_ a lawyer after all. He can smell a liar a mile away.

But I was seriously in deep shit right there. I mean, I was not quite sure what he would do once he found out about Jesse and me. I was actually hoping he wouldn't. But then again, when has my life ever gone the way I wanted it to?

"You're delusional, Paul." _Lying only makes it worse, Suze._ "There's no one. I just really want some sleep."

"I know when you're lying, Suze. And you're doing it right now." His grip tightened on my shoulders.

"I---"

Only, I really didn't get to finish. Not that I really knew what I was going to say, anyway. But thank God someone knocked on the door when they did.

"Excuse me, Paul," I said.

Paul grudgingly released his hands from my shoulders. I rubbed them as I went to go answer the door.

I suppose I shouldn't have been as relieved as I was that someone knocked on the door. Because, well, the person behind the door?

Yeah, that was Jesse.

I looked through the peephole, or whatever its called and saw that Jesse was standing there. He was looking totally gorgeous as always, but I really couldn't think about that, knowing who was standing impatiently behind me.

, was what I was thinking. 

"Aren't you going to open the door, Suze?" Paul asked. It sounded like he knew that Jesse was on the other side of the door. Or at least, the 'guy' he kept talking about.

I nodded numbly and slowly, carefully, opened the door.

And then dashed outside and shut the door behind me before Paul could see who it was.

"Jesse, what the _hell_ are you doing here?" I asked sharply. Too sharply, I soon noticed.

Jesse's face, completely nervous, but shining happily before I had said anything, completely fell, and he tried stuttering out an excuse. "I just thought…"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I just…Paul is in there. And he…" I sighed.

"Oh," Jesse said. He realized what this meant.

I looked at him, studying his profile. He had flowers in his hand, but they seemed to crumble when his face did. He looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days and his hair was looking a little rumpled. But still, he managed to look incredibly sexy.

I sighed, averting my gaze from him. "Jesse…" I was not sure what to say. "I really didn't expect you to come after me. I thought…I thought you would have seen that I'm not right for you. I just…I really think you deserve better."

He looked at me sharply and I looked back at him. "Susannah…of course you are right for me. We both may have made mistakes, but I think we can correct them and move on."

I shook my head. I knew what I had to do. I needed him to realize that he needed someone that wasn't me.

"Jesse, I'm going to ask you once and I need you to do it. I need you to leave." I couldn't bear to look at his face after I said that, so I looked away. "You need someone who could be there by your side, to be a queen. I - I _can't_. I want to, but I can't. I have too much here, and you have too much over there. So…please, just leave."

I looked back at him pleadingly. He then fell to his knees and looked up at me. He took my hands in his and said, his voice cracking slightly, "I'd give it all up just to be with you."

I shook my head, not wanting to make it harder on him. "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. I know you have duties, Jesse. I know you need to be there. Don't give all that up just to be with me. _Please_."

He stood back up and looked away from me. "If that's how you want it, then fine. I'll leave. And you'll never have to see me again."

What? "Jesse, no! That's not what I meant!"

But it was too late. He had already dropped the flowers on the ground and walked away. I stared after his retreating back and felt tears come to my eyes.

Why did things have to be so difficult?

Sighing, I went back inside my apartment. Paul was lying on the bed again, staring up at the ceiling.

"So," he said, unusually calm, "you managed to have another guy fall in love with you?"

I sat on Gina's bed and looked down at the floor. "Paul, I…" I didn't know what to say. Was there even anything I _could_ say to make it right?

"Suze, don't. I can't believe…this is happening. I never thought you'd…I thought you were happy with me. What went wrong?"

I blinked, shocked. I expected anger, a whole tirade from him when he found out. But this…I never expected this.

"Paul, I was happy with you. The key word there being _was_. Things have changed. I don't want to be with a guy who just wants me for my body. I want someone who wants me for me and my flaws."

He looked at me, those icy blue eyes dull and lifeless. "How can you say I just want you for your body? Of course I want to be with you for all of you, not just your looks."

I looked away and muttered, "It hasn't seemed that way lately."

He sighed. "Alright, I admit I've been a little demanding as of late with that kind of thing. But I've been stressed from work and I needed something to cheer me up."

"You needed sex to cheer you up? What about just _being _with me? Isn't that enough to cheer you up?"

"Suze-"

"Paul, look. I really did love you at one point. But these past couple months I've grown out of love with you. I guess it takes time to realize the person that you're really with. I guess I thought I loved you for the same reason I think you love me."

By then he had stood up and was walking closer to me. I gulped and stayed glued to my seat. "Why do you think I love you, Suze?" he asked, now only inches from me.

"For my body. And the fact that we both share the uncanny ability to communicate with the dead. But just because we have that in common doesn't make us soul mates, Paul."

He looked down at me from where he was standing. "I think we are. We're old souls, Suze. Our souls know each other just as much as our bodies do. I think we belong together." And with that, he leaned down to kiss me.

And I was so proud of myself that I turned away, not giving in to him.

"Suze-"

"Paul, _listen to me_. For once, please do that. I don't love you anymore, if I ever did at all. Please just understand that. I don't want to be with you anymore. I - I wanted to do this for a while, I just didn't have the guts. But now…I think its time that I did something about it."

He glared at me. "What did this guy _do_ to you? Before you met him, you were completely fine with me. And now-"

"No I wasn't, Paul! That's what you're not getting! I _wasn't_ happy with you. It was the same old shit everyday and now…I just can't take it anymore!"

The mirror above Gina's dresser started to wobble and then fell, crashing to the floor. Ugh, she was going to kill me for that when she got back.

He retreated a little, stepping back from me a few feet. His eyes were smoldering. He was just barely able to control his anger. "What did you say to him?" he asked softly, but not without mirth.

"I told him to leave," I said truthfully, looking away from his face. "I don't deserve what he feels for me. And sometimes I think I don't deserve what you feel for me."

"Suze…" I looked at him. He shook his head. "I can't believe this is happening! I just…you're the only girl that I felt this way toward…I-"

I cut in. "I think the reason you felt that way toward me was because I was the only one that said no to you, and that I was the only one you ever found that was like you."

"How can you say that?! I-"

"Paul! Just look at us. Is this really what a loving relationship is like? The kind of relationship you're talking about is one where both parties wants to be with the other regardless of what's happening, what they look like, and stuff like that. They don't always ask for sex, like you do. Although, I don't recall you ever really _asking_ for it. You just try and seduce me. Which, I have to admit, does work.

"But Paul," I stopped to take a breath. "You have to see that if we _did_ give us a few more months, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. We're not meant to be."

His eyes were flaming, his nostrils flaring. "He brainwashed you. Or - or _something_! You were fine until you went on that trip. And now-"

"And now what? He brainwashed me? That is fucking absurd and you _know_ it!" I stopped, trying to calm myself. He looked like he was trying to do the same.

"Paul, he's the king. He…he came here looking for me to be with him, but I turned him down. I did it, because he has so much that he shouldn't give up for me. And you…I can't live in a sham, Paul. I can't go on pretending that I love you just to appease you, when, in reality, I don't love you at all.

"I wanted this to be as painless as possible, but you won't let me do that, will you?"

He set his jaw and looked at me. The expression on his face was painful for me to look at. "If that's how you want it, then fine. I'll get out of your life and let you have your fairy tale ending. But just in case Prince Charming doesn't want you anymore, forget coming back to me."

And with that, he stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Overwhelmed with the stress of the trip, jetlag, and what had just happened with Paul and Jesse, I buried my face in a pillow and cried myself to sleep.

But at least I got my nap.


	11. Resignation

****

Chapter 11: Resignation

When I first arrived there, I was nervous. I was not sure what was going to happen, but I was hoping that it would go well. She said she would break up with her boyfriend right away, so I had hope that that was finished. But I soon learned that that was not the case.

After I had gotten off the airplane, my bodyguards were with me and led me to a taxi to go to her apartment building. It was weird, seeing the city as we drove to the building. I had been to America many times before, but it was strictly business. I never really paid much attention to the life outside the window when I was in a taxi. But now I paid rapt attention to the outside. It was fascinating.

I expected the building that she lived in to be some nice, grand structure. However, it was not. It was rundown looking. There was some graffiti painted on the brick on the outside. A window that looked to be part of the basement was broken, which was not good for the security, I knew. It just looked old.

I suppose I expected her to be rich. She never really told me about her well-being. She told me her parents were a little well-off, so I just assumed that they paid for everything. But it looked like they did not. I admired that, though. The independence. That's one of the many things that made me fall for her.

I sighed and opened the door to the building. It had no buzzer system, so I just went right in. The door was open. I realized that anyone could just go in and out of here as they pleased, regardless of whether they lived there or not. That, I knew, was _not_ safe. I wonder if they ever had a break-in, or someone robbed or hurt. Judging by the broken window outside, one of those might have happened.

Luckily, before I went there, I had someone find out her apartment location and number, so I could go to her. She never gave the information to me, not that I was really expecting it. To be honest, I never really expected to chase her all the way to the United States. But I guess you get surprised sometimes.

My guards and I went up the elevator and they stayed by the elevator door to give me some privacy. Well, after I insisted many times. They finally gave in and stayed there, watching me like a hawk.

I walked down the hall with a bundle of flowers in my hand, and knocked on her door. I heard someone inside the apartment, it sounded like a man. I did not realize that it was probably Paul until it was too late. Knowing someone who was with Susannah, I realized that this would cause a problem. However, it was too late for me to go back, since she had opened the door.

As soon as she did, though, she slipped right outside, not letting me see the inside, or, as I predicted she meant to do, not letting whoever was in there see me.

"Jesse, what the _hell_ are you doing here?" she asked sharply.

This is not really what I had expected. My face fell involuntarily. "I just thought…" I trailed off.

She looked upset and looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I just…Paul is in there. And he…" She sighed.

"Oh," I said. I realized what that meant. It meant that she was breaking up with him. And now he probably thought…oh, _dios_, I did not even want to know what he thought. I felt horrible for ruining this for her.

She sighed, averting her gaze from me. "Jesse…" She hesitated, not daring to look at me. "I really didn't expect you to come after me. I thought…I thought you would have seen that I'm not right for you. I just…I really think you deserve better."

She looked up then and I looked at her sharply. How could she say that? We both were not perfect, but I was not looking for perfection. I was looking for someone who loved me and who I could love back forever.

I said, "Susannah…of course you are right for me. We both may have made mistakes, but I think we can correct them and move on."

She shook her head and looked away from me again. I could tell that she was going to say something bad before she even opened her mouth.

"Jesse, I'm going to ask you once and I need you to do it. I need you to leave."

I blinked at her. What? Why was she telling me to leave?

"You need someone who could be there by your side, to be a queen. I - I _can't_. I want to, but I can't. I have too much here, and you have too much over there. So…please, just leave."

I wanted to break down on the floor there and cry. Why did things have to be so difficult? Couldn't we have our happy fairy-tale ending? But of course not. This, after all, was reality. Oh how I was it were not so. If only it was a fairy tale.

She looked at me, her eyes pleading me to do as she said. I could, however, tell that she also did not want me to leave.

I fell to my knees and looked up at her, taking her hands in mine. My voice cracked slightly as I said, "I'd give it all up just to be with you."

But she just shook her head and said, "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. I know you have duties, Jesse. I know you need to be there. Don't give all that up just to be with me. _Please_."

I looked at her for a few minutes, understanding.

"If that's how you want it, then fine. I'll leave. And you'll never have to see me again."

Without giving her much time to react, I got off my knees, dropped her hands, spun around and walked swiftly away.

I heard her call, "Jesse, no! That's not what I meant!"

I did not turn around. It was too late for me. She would have her way. I would go back to my country and never bother her again. I just hoped she would have her fairy-tale ending, if I could not have mine.

- § -

I fell asleep on the plane. I was not really sure how, since I was so upset and angry. But I guess I was tired. One of my guards woke me up when we landed and took my bag off the plane for me. The ride back to the palace was agonizing. I could not stop thinking about her and what just happened. I wanted to run back to her, hold her in my arms and never let her go.

But I couldn't do that. She was in America with Paul…and who's to say she even broke up with him? She was probably just saying that to make me feel better. Or something. I don't know anymore.

I don't even think I can go through with being a leader of a country anymore. I _know_ I was not meant to do this. I just want to be normal, live an average life. I do not want to be a royal and lead a whole country. My parents were excellent at it, and they thought their only son would be too. But I'm not.

When I arrived back at the palace, Jake was there waiting for me. To see what happened.

However, I am pretty sure he realized what happened when he saw my face.

"Jesse…" he said when he first got a look at me. "What the hell happened?"

I shook my head at him, signaling for him to go away and leave me alone. "I honestly do not want to talk about it, Jake."

He stepped in my path as I started walking away. "I don't care. We're going to go somewhere in private and you are going to tell me exactly what happened."

I honestly did not have the energy to argue. Taking my silence as acquiescence, he led me to my bedchambers.

"So," he said, sprawling himself across my bed, "what happened?"

I sat down in the arm chair in the corner and told him everything. I was not going to but I guess I needed to tell someone, for someone to understand.

"Dude…" he trailed off. "I'll never begin to understand her. Suze is the most unpredictable woman you will ever meet."

I hung my head, not daring to look at him. "Tell me about it," I mumbled.

"Jesse, man, pull yourself together. I know you really liked her, but come on. There are loads of other women out there that want you, that would do anything to have you."

And as pathetic as it sounds, I said, "But she's the only one I want. I love her."

"How can you love her? You were only with her for a few weeks, man. Just get over her. The sooner, the better."

"You don't understand," I found myself saying. "She's the first woman I've found that understands me, that liked me before she found out I was royal, rich, and a king. You don't know how great that made me feel."

"I understand, Jesse. I really do. But…she told you herself. She doesn't want to be with you."

Hearing it from him made it even worse. "I know," I whispered.

"Well, then, you have to respect her wishes. Forget about her, date some other women. I'll try and convince Parliament to give you a little more time."

"I'm just thinking about abdicating." Although, I really wasn't until it came out of my mouth.

Jake stared at me like he couldn't believe it. "You can't, man. Marta isn't of age yet and---"

"She will be in a month."

"Jesse, you can't lay the burden on her. I know you really don't want to do this, but don't you think you should, for your parents?"

"Wouldn't my parents just want me to be happy?" I argued back.

That letter that Susannah wrote me before she left sprang to my mind. '

I dug the letter up from a drawer in my bedside drawer and showed Jake. He read it. I hadn't meant for him to read the whole thing, just the part at the bottom. But he did and his mouth was hanging agape.

"What the hell is she talking about, Jesse? You _did_ tell her your father is dead, right?" I knew he didn't mean to be so blunt, but I winced when he said that. He saw this and said, "Sorry, but its true. Did you mention that to her?"

"Of course I did, Jake. But she…she seemed so understanding when I told her about my parents. She told me her dad had passed away, too, when she was young. She said even though he was gone, she knew he was still there, watching over her. Maybe…well, maybe she can see her father. And mine, too."

Jake shook his head. "No. That can't be true, Jesse. Think about what you're saying. That my sister can see ghosts? No. No way. That's impos---"

He stopped and looked at me. It looked like he was thinking about something. "Wait a minute," he said, his tone of voice changing completely. Before it was of adamancy, but now it was of awed wonder.

"What?"

"Well, I'm not saying its true, but…well, it would explain a lot."

I raised my eyebrow in question and he explained. "Well, back when we were in high school, she would always be talking to someone in her room in the dead of night. I always just assumed it was a boyfriend or something, but she never had any in high school. And when I'd barge in to see who she was talking to, the person would never be there. And now that I think about it, I only ever heard her talking, not anyone else."

I opened my mouth to say something, but he talked over me. "But saying that she can talk to ghosts…that's…really creepy. Why wouldn't she ever tell me about that?"

I raised both my eyebrows this time. "Maybe because she didn't think you'd believe her. Like now."

"Don't tell me that you believe it, man. I mean, come _on_."

"Well, why not? Like you said, it does explain a lot."

"But there's no proof that they exist. Some weird things happening, sure, but not real, actual proof."

I half-smiled, which was a good sign, considering what had happened mere hours before. "But there's no proof that they don't exist, either."

He opened his mouth to argue even more, I could tell, but then he shut it. Opening once more, he said, "We're straying a bit from the topic at hand. Are you really serious about abdicating?"

I blinked. Was I? "I don't know. I like feeling important, but…I don't believe this is what I should be doing for the rest of my life, no matter how short or long it may be. Marta, though…she's always wanted to rule, and I think she'd be great at it."

"Well, maybe you should talk to her about it then. See what she says."

I nodded as he said, "Look, I'm gonna go. I promised Gina I'd take her out for dinner tonight. You gonna be okay? I'll call Raphael to fill in for me."

I nodded and said, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

He looked at me for a few seconds before deciding that I was telling the truth. He said goodbye, but then just stood in the doorway. He looked like he really wanted to say something, but he was not really sure what. Then he looked out the window and mumbled, "She says things she doesn't mean sometimes. Mostly for the benefit of other people."

Before I could even respond, he slipped out the door and left, leaving me behind to wallow in my own self-pity.

But what was he talking about, she doesn't mean what she says sometimes? What was that referring to? The fact that she told me we weren't meant to be? Was she just saying that, or did she really mean it?

, I was never more confused when it came to women then right then. Why would she say something like that and not mean it? How did she think that would benefit me? 

I fell asleep thinking about Susannah and wondering about what I was going to do about my status.

**Sorry this took a while. I had actually finished this chapter a few weeks ago but then forgot about it and started on the next chapter. So, HOPEfully, I'll have the next installment up soon, considering its halfway done. Please review!!**


	12. Taking Charge

Chapter 12: Taking Charge

Suze

I was numb for the next few weeks. Winter was starting to roll in, but its not as if the temperature dropped drastically like it did in New York. Well, at least during the daytime. People were still out surfing in their spring wetsuits and walking around in shorts and flip-flops. Typical California day.

Nothing had really changed around me. The only thing that _did_ change was me. I was, as my friend CeeCee pointed out, acting like a slug. Of course, I told her all about what happened. Every last detail, down to him ogling my boobs. I guess when you have some best friends, that's what they're for.

CeeCee told me to get over it. That's why I love her, because she's so blunt. She told me I wasn't completely right, but then he wasn't either.

When I told her that it was so hard to get over, that I wasn't sure if I could, she told me to go out there and do something about it. Go see him and beg him to take me back.

Um, I have way more dignity than that.

"Who cares about your stupid dignity, Suze? If you love him and he loves you, then what the hell are you doing here?" she demanded of me.

I shook my head. She didn't understand. I guess I must have voiced this, since she stopped short of our walk and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me like crazy.

"What don't I understand, huh? I understand a whole lot. You both screwed up and now you think its over. Well, its not. If you don't do something about it soon, then he's going to move on, because he thinks you don't want him." She stopped only to take a breath and then continued, "You know what I would do? I would go over there as soon as you can and talk to him. Tell him you want him and that you'll never leave."

Tears started to form in my eyes as I looked at her. She was so right…but how could I do that? Especially now. Its been three weeks since I did that. He's a freaking king. He's bound to have found another girl by now. And didn't he mention he had to get married or something too?

"CeeCee, I…I can't. I want to, but I can't."

She was frustrated now, I could tell. "Yes, you can! Save your pride for someone else. Go over there and see him. Who cares if you miss a few days of class. This is totally worth it."

And that's how I found myself talking to Gina.

When I first called, she didn't pick up. Cee told me to try again. I had just about given up when she answered on the last ring.

"Yeah?" Her voice sounded ragged and she was breathing loudly. Mentally, I figured out the time zone. It was eight o'clock here, so…oh God.

"Oh, sorry. it's a bad time. I'll call back later."

"Suze? No, don't go. It's alright, we're done." I heard some protest on the other end, which I knew was Jake.

I shuddered. I did _not_ want to think about that. Soooo gross.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," she answered. "So what's up? Haven't heard from you in a while."

I sat down on the park bench that was a few feet away. I shrugged, even though there was no way she could have seen it. "I um…well, how is he?"

"Who, Jake? He's fine. A bit tired now, but---"

"NO, not Jake. Um…Jesse. I wanted to…you know, see how he was."

There was silence on the other end for a minute. "He's fine."

That was too quick an answer. "What's wrong? He's not fine. I can tell by your voice. What happened, Gina?"

I heard her sigh on the other end. A butterfly landed on my shoulder. Isn't that good luck? Or maybe that's a ladybug.

"Suze, look, you had your chance. I can't believe you turned him away like that. He just…he was so into you. He wanted to _marry_ you. He---"

"Look, I know I fucked up, okay? I'm sorry. You can tell him that. I just…I was talking to CeeCee and…well, I'm going over there. I have to make things right again."

Silence again. "Suze, he…" she trailed off and sighed. "It won't matter anymore."

I took a deep breath. The butterfly flew away. "Why?"

"Because he's getting married."

I blinked. What she said really didn't register for a minute. But when it did…well, CeeCee knew something was wrong.

"What?" I managed to say. It was barely a word. I wasn't even sure that Gina heard it at first.

She sighed on the other end. "Suze, he's getting married. You just…you should have taken him back then. You _knew_ he had to marry and you still left it like that. What were you thinking?"

"I…I don't know."

"You _weren't_. Or else you wouldn't have sent away the best thing that ever happened to you."

That was when I started crying. Because she was absolutely right. I don't even know why I did it. Sent him away, I mean.

I didn't want to ask, but I had to. "When is it?"

"Saturday."

Oh, God. That was…in four days.

"I'll be there."

"Suze…what? What are you talking about? You have class and stuff, don't you?"

"I don't care. I…I need him, Gina. I've been miserable without him. I know its my fault, but…well, I have to make it right."

"But Suze. There's four days til his wedding. You just can't tell him you love him the day before his wedding and expect him to give it all up."

I sighed. I knew this. "Well, I'm going to try. If he doesn't want it anymore, then at least I tried, right?"

She sighed too. "…Yeah. Call me back with your flight info. I'll go pick you up."

And suddenly I felt happier than I had been in a while. "Thanks!"

- § -

It was easier than I thought it would be to get there. Maybe it was the determination that suddenly consumed me. Or whatever.

But whatever it was, I got there. It was sunny and warm there, as usual. Normally, I would want to head straight for the beach and get a tan…but I couldn't. Not now. I needed to go talk to him. Now that I was…well, on his turf, I needed to go see him and work things out.

When Gina picked me up from the airport, she didn't look too pleased. When I asked her what was up, she just shook her head and said she was fine.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Fine? No, seriously, what's up?"

She sighed (rather dramatically I must say, too). "Suze, look. I know you want to be with him and I know he wants to be with you. There's no doubt in any of that. But the fact that you decide to get back together with him three days before his wedding…"

I sighed. I knew this. But I had to have faith, right? Hope that maybe he'd be willing to give that up for me… He said so himself once before…

But maybe it has changed since then.

Gina continued, "He's just not the type to leave a girl at the altar, you know? He said he was going to marry this girl and he's probably going to do it."

By the look on my face, she said, "I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I don't want you being surprised if that happens. I don't want you to get your hopes up and then be crushed."

I nodded mutely. I knew she just wanted me to be happy and was only looking out for my well-being, but…well, she was my best friend. It hurt to hear her say those things.

I also realized that Gina had changed a bit since I had last seen her. She spent the time that I was in California here with Jake. I wonder what's happened that she's so…morbid now.

The old Gina would say something like, "That bitch won't lay a hand on him. We'll get him back for you!"

But this one was staring silently at the road before her as she was driving us back to Jake's place.

I sighed and looked out my window as she drove us back. Once we were there and I had my stuff in, I told her that I needed some air and went out for a walk.

My first thought when I got outside was that I had to go find Jesse. But, of course, I had no idea where he would be. Maybe at the palace? But if I went there, no one would let me see him. Even if they recognized me from the publicity photos in the newspapers and magazines and the television.

I sighed, realizing that I probably came here for nothing. I would only see Jesse at the wedding, if I was even allowed in, and I would probably just ruin his wedding. He was no doubt trying to forget about me.

If I could just see him before the wedding and talk to him…

Argh. Why did I fuck up so immensely?

I decided after my aimless wandering, that I would go to town around the shops and stop to get something to eat. So I went into this little café shop that served sandwiches and stuff.

I noticed when I first got in that there was a little commotion in the corner of the restaurant. Two girls, around my age, were sitting and there was a bunch of what looked like paparazzi. A celebrity maybe? But it wasn't someone I recognized.

I shrugged and sat down at a table not too close to them, but not too far, so I could hear what was going on. Okay, so I'm an eavesdropper. Get over it.

The waiter came over to me and I ordered a sandwich and some coffee.

"Miss Lovelyn, Miss Lovelyn! What does your wedding dress look like? Who's the maker?" one of the guys shouted. Jeez, she was _right_ there. No need to shout. I'm sure I would have heard that if I was on the street.

Hm, guess this girl was getting married. Well, at least one of us was. She seemed like she didn't screw everything up with the guy she loved. Unlike me.

The girl didn't answer him. It was obvious she was trying to ignore them. Not an easy feat, considering they were RIGHT next to her.

"Miss Lovelyn, do you know what Mr. de Silva's tux looks like? Who the maker is?" the same dude asked.

Wait a second…

Oh, my God. No way.

No _freaking_ way.

It couldn't be, could it? That couldn't be the girl that he was marrying, right? Maybe it was another Mr. de Silva. There were probably plenty of them around here…

"How does it feel to be marrying the King?"

Okay, now I know I was just lying to myself.

It is her. That _is_ the girl he's marrying.

I secretly tried to sneak a peak at her. Huh, well she was pretty. Well, gorgeous really. What a surprise. I'd be shocked if he was marrying an ugly girl. And she looks like she's a size two.

Okay, I'm not saying Jesse's shallow. Quite the opposite, really, if he liked me. But only those types of girls would jump at him. The rich, gorgeous, size two and below, DD cup and above, bimbos.

And she was a bimbo. She took him away from me.

I really wanted to go over to her table right then and knock her out. I might have if it wasn't for the fact that the paparazzi would have gotten a shot of it and it would be everywhere. Then Jesse would know I had punched out his fiance. Hm, great start to getting him back.

Finally, one of the store vendors came over and asked the paparazzi to leave. It took quite a bit of arguing, but with a threat to call the police, they grudgingly left. Jesse's fiance jumped at the vendor when they left and hugged him.

"Thank you so much," she gushed.

Oh, God. Come _on_.

"It was no problem, madam. I was happy to help."

I rolled my eyes and sipped the coffee that the waiter just plopped on the table.

Then I just thought about her last name. Lovelyn. Wow. It's even got the word "lovely" in it. How much worse could this get?

"God, Tracy," Miss Lovely's friend said, "that's not going to be happening every time we go out, is it? Not that I mind getting my picture taken and stuff, but…its just so _annoying_. And the least they could do is get cute guys to ask us questions." She wrinkled her nose and grimaced.

I don't think the girl realized that it was her friend that was getting the publicity and attention, not her.

Tracy sighed. "Probably. I mean, it happens a lot of times I go out. I think that's why Jesse never wants to go out. Because of that."

Tracy's friend grinned. "Speaking of your fiancee…how's he in the sack?"

I practically choked on my sandwich. I felt one of them look over at me, but I didn't care.

Oh, God. I can't listen to this. I can't bear to hear about what Jesse and this new girl are doing in bed.

But I still couldn't manage to unglue myself from the seat.

Tracy seemed annoyed when her friend asked that. "Huh, like I would know. I mean, Jesse's like, really hot and all, but…he's like, so bent on NOT having sex. I'm just like, um, hello? It feels great, so let's do it. He always avoids it when he can. And then when we're kissing he pulls away and says, "after the wedding". I think I'm more happy to be getting married because we'll actually be able to have sex, then just being with him."

Okay, that pissed me off. I liked being with him to just _be_ with him. It had nothing to do with sex, not that we did it or anything anyway, but still. Stupid bitch.

"Well, is he good company?"

Tracy shrugged. "He tries to keep a conversation going, but I don't know. I guess we really don't have much in common. All likes to do is read and tend to his horses. I mean, God, you have enough money to get a servant to do that."

Her friend sniffed. "Yeah, really. But like, speaking of money. You're gonna be rich in two days, girl."

Tracy smiled. "And that's one of the other great things, too."

I rolled my eyes again. God. Shallow, much?

"Well, you done good this time. I mean, money and a hot guy. What more could you want?"

Tracy sighed. "True, but…I don't know. I kind of always wanted to marry for love, not for money and crap. But…beggars can't be choosers, right?"

"Psh, love. What is _that_?"

Tracy and her friend giggled.

Then her friend said, "Hey, what about that other girl?"

"What other girl?"

I held my breath. Were they talking about me?

"Jesse's friend's girlfriend. The punkish one?"

Punkish. Ha. They were talking about Gina.

"She's alright. Kind of weird, and she doesn't seem to like me too much. This one time she told me that Jesse wasn't mine to have. I guess she was trying to scare me off. Didn't work, though."

Gina. Oh, my God.

I couldn't hear anymore. I really couldn't. So I beasted my sandwich and chugged my coffee and left money on the table. I practically ran out the door.

I didn't want to go back to their place yet. I needed some place where I could just think about what I just heard and what I'm going to do.

And my answer was straight ahead of me.

A church.

**Wow, an update.**

**Well, tell me what you guys think. In the form of a review. And maybe I'll say screw it to school and get the next chapter up soon. If not this, then the next chapter of Inf. :D**

**So review. **


	13. Disturbed Solitude

Chapter 13: Disturbed Solitude

Jesse

I had never thought that being alone could feel so…_good_.

After all that had been happening, I reveled in the time that I could spend by myself. I did not have to worry about being King, or my sisters, or getting married…

It was just simply amazing. I could think and feel what I wanted to. I could imagine what my life would have been like if I was not born royalty. With Susannah in my arms and our children running around on a bright green lawn, her laughing at something one of them did…

. _Dios_, I could not be thinking of her then. I promised myself I would not. Whatever we could have had together, it was gone. It could no longer happen. Even if she were to appear in the church right that second, I could do nothing about it. I certainly could not have given everything up, leaving Tracy at the altar.

Could I?

The doubt was starting to trickle over me. I knew I did not love Tracy. She…well, she was nothing like Susannah. All she seemed to want to do was have sex with me. If it were Susannah who was offering, it would be different. But I did not want to do that with the woman I was marrying. It was pathetic, really. She was a perfectly attractive woman, but…well, she was not Susannah. It seemed like I was not attracted to any other woman but Susannah.

I sighed and leaned my head against the pew in front of me. The church I was in was empty, except for me and the priest who was arranging things for mass later that night. This was actually the church I was to be married in. To a woman who was not Susannah.

Why did I keep thinking about her? It would be so much easier if I could have just erased her from my mind. But I could not do that. It was possibly the hardest thing I had ever tried to do in my life. Even when I least expected it, her name popped into my head. When I saw leaves or someone's bright green lawn, I thought of her. When I saw a woman with wavy chestnut hair, I thought it was her. At least until they turned around. It was never her., I told myself. 

What good? She was a shallow woman, someone Susannah would have called a bimbo. One who could not think for herself, but then could only think _of_ herself.

What was I going to do? I did not want to marry this woman. I did not wish to be married to her for the rest of my life.

But I had promised Parliament. I had made a vow. I had to go through with it. Unless…

But I could not do that. I could not put Marta up like that, even if she wanted to do it. I could not let her go through the same torture as me.

I groaned to myself and put my head in my lap.

Then I heard the door to the church open. Thinking it was an early mass member, I did not look up. The person took a seat in the back, from what I could hear. They were silent. Maybe they were praying.

Curiosity prickling me, I looked up and quickly took a peak to see who it was.

And I nearly slid off the pew when I recognized the person. The _woman_.

It was Susannah. I was not mistaken this time. The same emerald green eyes and chestnut hair…

She seemed to recognize me at the same time as I recognized her. Her mouth opened as she attempted to say something and failed. I did not say anything. Neither of us made an attempt to move.

We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. And then, ever so softly, she said, "I'm sorry."

Which was not what I wanted to hear. It just brought the reality back. What had happened between us, why I was not marrying _her_ instead of Tracy. And as much as I wanted to forget about it, I could not. It hung between us like the smell of a skunk.

I dropped my gaze from hers and stared down at the floor.

She made the decision for me. She stood up and walked over to me. Just the proximity of her and her body made me quiver with something…desire, maybe?

"Jesse…" she said and I was forced to look up into those painstakingly beautiful eyes. "I…I was stupid. I should never have…" she broke off and looked away from me.

I still could not force myself to speak. I feared that if I did she would be gone. And I would never see her again.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled again. "I just…" she sighed. "I don't know what to say…I didn't expect to see you yet. I actually didn't expect to see you at _all_…" she babbled.

I looked to the front of the church. The priest was nowhere to be seen. I supposed he was in his office. Maybe he had suspected a confrontation and left to give us some privacy.

Susannah looked back at me and pleaded, "_Please_ say something."

And I did. But it was obvious that it was something she did not want to hear. "I'm getting married, Susannah."

She nodded. "I…I know. Gina told me. I just…I was hoping…"

I got what she was saying. And for some reason it angered me. "Hoping what? That I would wait for you to want to be with me again? Time was a luxury I did not have, Susannah. Still do not have."

She nodded again and gulped. I could see the tears that were brimming her eyes. I wanted to wipe them away and make sure they never came back.

"I know there's nothing…" she said, her voice cracking on the last word. She cleared her throat, "nothing I can say to you that will make you change your mind. I know you're not the type to leave a girl standing at the altar. But…well, I'll be here, Jesse. I…I will. And I'll understand if you still marry her."

I was silent. I had nothing to respond with and it seemed like she understood that.

"But Jesse…" she broke off again and I noticed that she was trying very hard to fight back those tears. I had to fight off the urge to take her in my arms and never let her go.

"You don't only have one option."

Of course I knew this. I could simply just abdicate and hand things over to Marta. But I _would not_ do that. I would not put the burden on my little sister.

I voiced this to Susannah and she nodded. "I know. I guess I underestimated how much you care for people. I just wonder how I came to be one of those people you care for."

I wanted to say something to that, but nothing came out of my mouth.

She sucked in a breath and said, in a rush, "In case you wanted to know, I broke up with Paul. Even if…nothing happens, I won't go back to him. I just…I wanted you to know that."

I nodded to her. It was actually something I liked to hear. Knowing that she would not go back to that…that _cabrón_, made me feel as if I had accomplished something, even if I had not done so.

She was standing there with a look on her face that told me that she did not want to leave. And I realized that I did not want her to leave, either. I wanted to take her in my arms and bring her back to the palace and make sweet love to her…

Oh, _Dios_, I was doing it again.

But…I still wondered if she wanted the same thing.

"I…" she said, then stopped.

I waited for her to say something else. She did not, and I wished to say something to her, to make her stay there with me, to make her realize how I love her so very much…

"Is there any way that we can…" she trailed off uncertainly, but I knew exactly what she was asking me.

And I wanted to do what she wanted to so badly. I wanted to throw everything away, my morals, my honesty, my chivalry, my _life_…just to be with her.

"Can what?" I prompted, even though I knew perfectly well _what_.

She hesitated, then shook her head. "Never mind. It's a stupid question to ask."

I looked into her eyes and I noticed that she looked sheepish under my gaze. And that was when I knew for sure what she was thinking about.

And I suddenly did not care about anything else. I just wanted to be with her.

Thinking irrationally, I asked her, "Do you have a piece of paper?"

She looked bewildered. "What?"

"A piece of paper…and a pen."

"For what?" she asked as she was looking through her purse.

"To write something down."

She looked at me and gave me what she would have called a "no duh" look. She found both of the items that I had asked for and gave them to me.

I wrote down _The Hollandaise Inn 9 PM tonight. _I handed the pen back to her and stood up.

She looked at me curiously and then gestured to the paper in my hand.

I smiled at her and cocked my head to the door. She nodded with a confused look on her face and followed me out the door silently. When we got outside I handed the paper to her and said, "I hope you will attend the wedding. It would not be the same without you."

Then I walked away before she could respond to the note.

**Sorry its just a teensy bit short. I swear the next chapter will be longer. I already have a lot written for it, so expect a nice, long chappie. :D**

**Review, please.**


	14. Hopeful Expectations

Chapter 14: Hopeful Expectations

**Suze**

I stared down at the paper in my hands. I was still standing in front of the church where he had left me. The paper in my hands was crisp and when I flipped it over I realized that it was the envelope from my plane ticket.

I stared at his words on the envelope. Could they really mean what I thought they did? Was he asking me to meet him at a hotel…alone…tonight?

Could God really have answered my prayers?

I just wished I could ask him if that was what it really meant. That he wanted to be with me tonight, regardless of what went on. Surely he had to know that if he met me alone in a hotel that I would basically have one thing on my mind…

Which had to be on his mind, too.

I really hoped that it was. God, I wanted him so badly. It was ridiculous.

But seriously. It was so weird when I sat down in that church and realized that Jesse was there. How much of a coincidence is that?

Or maybe it wasn't supposed to be a coinkidink. Maybe God was giving me a sign. But what kind of sign? To sabotage the wedding of the man I'm hopelessly in love with?

No, as much as I would like to see Tracy cry, I couldn't do that.

No. No matter what happened tonight between us, I wouldn't set out to ruin the wedding. It was pretty much my fault that he was marrying her anyway. If I hadn't been so stupid, so…ridiculous… God, I had thought that I was doing the right thing. I figured that by letting him go…to be where he belongs, without me tying him down, that he would be better off.

But I was wrong. Huh. Surprise, surprise.

Suddenly my cell phone went off. I was so scared that I jumped and dropped the envelope. The wind, as luck has it, carried it away and I had to chase it down for nearly a half a mile before I managed to secure it again. Clutching onto it for dear life, I answered my phone finally.

"Jesus, Suze!" I heard the person yell on the other end before I could even get a "hello?" in.

"What?" I answered.

"Where the hell are you?" Gina yelled. I had to hold the phone away from my ear, her voice was so loud.

"Um…in front of a fountain…"

Since I had to chase after the paper, I was no longer in front of the church, but in what seemed to be a town center. There were some stores and stuff surrounding a huge stone monument with a fountain in front of it. Huh. I hadn't noticed that last time I was there. Maybe because the exploring I meant to do never happened.

I walked up to the monument and looked at it while Gina was babbling away in my ear.

"Alessandro and Esperanza de Silva," it read. These were probably Jesse's ancestors, I realized.

"…me there, okay?" I caught the end of what Gina was saying.

I didn't want to tell her that I missed most of what she was saying…but I didn't know what she was saying. So…yeah.

"I'm sorry. What was that?"

I winced as she said rather impatiently, "Jesus Christ, Suze. Were you listening to a word I said?"

"Um, not really," I admitted.

She groaned. "I was saying that you should come back to Jake's place. We're out right now, because we didn't know when you'd be back, but you should meet us back there in a little bit. We'll be back soon."

I nodded. Then I realized she couldn't see it and said, "Yeah, sure."

"Wait…what's up? Something happened, I can tell."

I didn't really want to explain it over the phone, but…I needed to tell someone.

"I saw him…and talked to him."

There was a pause. "You're talking about Jesse, right?"

"Yeah."

"Where did you see him?" She seemed to have calmed down and like she was generally interested in this.

"In the church."

Suddenly, my body felt too heavy to hold my legs up. I looked around and found a bench to sit down on. The engraving on the side read, "In memory of José de Silva."

God, can't I just get ONE moment away from thoughts about him?

"What church?"

Oh, yeah. I didn't mention that.

"I dunno," I admitted. I never looked to see what it was called. "The one that's after the main street in town."

She made a weird sound then. It sounded like a cross between a gasp and a groan. "That also happens to be the church he's getting married in on Saturday," she informed me.

Wow, really? Huh. Small world.

"Oh," I said.

"Well," she prompted. "What happened?"

And I told her everything. Right down to the letter and what it said.

"Okay," she said after I was finished. "That can't mean what I think it does…can it?"

I sighed. "I was hoping you could tell me."

There was a pause for a moment, then she said, "Okay, listen. Jake and I are coming back _right now_. So meet us there as soon as you can. You and I need to talk about this."

And then she hung up.

Well, what choice did I really have? It's not like I wanted her to know that I was so ready to go and let Jesse ravish me, two nights before his wedding to another woman, but I really needed to know what she was thinking about it. And possibly what Jake had to say…

It only took me about five minutes to find a bus route that dropped me off somewhere near Jake's place. The bus ride was about ten minutes and the walk to his place was about another ten minutes.

Needless to say, when I finally rang the bell at his house, Gina was looking pretty frantic when she answered the door.

"_God_," she said and dragged me inside.

I resisted the urge to say, "Yes, how can I help you?" I knew that would just get her annoyed with me.

Jake was sitting on the couch in the living room. He looked up briefly and gave me a half-smile. Gina sat me down next to her on the same couch and I suddenly knew that Jake knew about everything I had told her over the phone.

And well, that made me nervous. I was really more concerned with what Jake was thinking than what Gina was. Maybe because I already knew what Gina was thinking.

"So," Gina said, slightly bouncing on the couch. I realized that I hadn't seen her this…well, _happy_, in a while.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "So?"

And then she let it all loose. "Oh, my _God_. I can't believe this is happening. It can only really mean one thing, can't it? I mean, he obviously thinks you are the hottest thing since the sun and he _so_ does not want to marry this chick. So…he wants to get back with you!" she squealed.

"Gina," Jake said, sounding half-bored, half-amused, "try not to get _too_ excited."

"Oh, shut up! This is so exciting." Then she turned her attention back to me. "We _so_ have get you ready for this. I'm doing your makeup and picking your outfit. And then we have to rehearse what you're going to say…"

I could tell Jake was trying really hard not to laugh.

Well, I wasn't about to laugh at her, but I was already thinking that this whole thing was absurd.

"Um, Gina," I started, but she cut me off.

"…and I really think that white leather mini would look great on you. Maybe some fishnet stockings…"

"Gina."

"…but I'm not too sure about that pink halter. Pink might come off too 'fuck me'-ish. Hmm…"

"Gina!"

She blinked and looked at me. "What?"

"Look, I appreciate this, but…well, I'm just going to go into it like I'm not expecting anything. I shouldn't be. I can't hope for something and then not have it happen. Not when I'm so…so…_deep _in this."

She pouted. "What? I can't have any fun? Come on. You can't tell me you're just going to go in jeans and a t-shirt."

Um. This might be harder than I thought.

She took my silence as a confirmation. "Please, please, _please_, tell me that that's not what you're doing."

"It is," I said. "Sorry."

Jake looked like he was having a grand old time.

"Oh, come on, Suze! You need to dress up a little bit for him. At least let me get you a dress to wear!"

Jake saved me before I could say anything. "G, let it go. She's right. Whatever Jesse's planning…she can't go into it expecting him to take her back. She has to be practical about it."

"Dressing nicely is being practical," she insisted.

"Gina, I'm going to dress like _me_, not like I'm expecting to be ravished."

Jake blinked and looked away. I saw a tinge of red on his cheeks.

Gina pouted again. "You guys totally suck."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. And then everything went quiet. It was one of those awkward silences that just seem to stretch on forever and ever…

Finally, I got up the courage to ask Jake. "Jake…did Jesse say anything to you about this?"

He shook his head. "I tried calling him after Gina told me what happened, but he wouldn't answer his phone. I don't know where he is. Probably at the palace." He frowned.

"So you have no idea what this is all about?"

He shook his head again. "Your guess is as good as mine."

I sighed and everything went quiet again. I just hoped that whatever would happen that night would be something good.

And I realized that my visit to Gina and Jake really hadn't helped me one bit. I was hoping that they knew something that would be of some help to me, but they didn't.

I sighed again, realizing that I was going into this thing unarmed and completely clueless. Always a great battle strategy.

- § -

I took a deep breath and smoothed down my shirt. My jeans were already starting to feel too tight and my shirt too low. I knew I shouldn't have worn the v-neck. Damn.

I shook my head and started to walk forward again. _Just do it_, I told myself. _Whatever happens, happens_.

I walked into the lobby of the Hollandaise Inn at exactly 9 PM. I had gotten a text from Jesse about an hour ago saying the room number to go to.

The room suddenly seemed too small, even considering the vast ceilings and walkways. I was beyond nervous at that point.

Just keep moving. Everything will be fine.

Somehow that thought propelled me to move forward that little bit more and to the elevators. I stood in front of them, waiting for one to reach the ground floor. A lady stopped next to me and smiled my way. I looked back at her and gave her what I hoped was a pleasant, non-nervous smile. But, judging by the look of unease that suddenly passed her face, it was probably neither.

Who cares? Just focus on getting to the fifth floor. Number 518. That's all you need to be concerned about.

I nodded to myself as there was a _ding!_ to indicate that the elevator reached the level. I took a deep breath and walked forward after the doors opened. They shut behind me and that familiar nauseating feeling came back.

The woman walked in with me and looked at me cautiously, like I was going to explode at any second. Finally, when the doors shut, she asked me tentatively, "are you okay?"

I looked at her and nodded. "Fine, fine."

"Are you sure? You look a little…green?"

Did I? Wow, maybe I was making myself sick with apprehension.

I nodded again. "Fine, just a little nervous."

"Ah," she said, seeming comforted by this news. "I see. Well, I hope everything goes well."

Then the elevator stopped at her floor and she got out. She smiled at me and wished me well again and then left. The doors shut and I had one more floor to go.

The doors eventually opened again and I just stood there. I breathed in as much as I could and got out. I looked to my left. 501.

Oh, God. How was I going to be able to face him?

I took some effort to finally get my feet to move again and before I knew it I was standing in front of room number 518. It was all the way at the end of the hall and I realized that it was probably a suite. Well, he can afford it, with his income.

I raised my hand to the door and knocked. It had to be only two seconds later that he opened the door and was standing there with a smile on his face.

Relief suddenly flowed through me. _He really does want to see me._

He opened the door wider so I could go in. I gasped when I saw how large the suite actually was. It was…_wow_. Without waiting for permission, I started exploring the vastness of the place. There was a central room with two couches and a plasma screen television. And then there was an arch doorway that led into the bedroom. A king size bed with gold trimmed comforters and pillows. The bathroom was part of the bedroom and there was a huge roman tub with gold-painted decals. The shower was clear, so that if someone was taking a shower and someone was in the bed, the person in the bed had a clear view of the person taking a shower. Not really a room for privacy.

"Wow," I breathed.

I heard Jesse laugh behind me. "You like it?"

I spun around in shock. I had forgotten that he was there. I blinked. "Like it? My God, Jesse, it's…incredible…"

He smiled when he saw the look on my face. "Well, I'm glad you like it. Now, have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head. I hadn't. I was way too nervous to even attempt to eat.

"Good. We can call room service to get something sent up here."

I nodded, still not really taking in that I was alone with him, that we had this whole suite all to ourselves… And that bed looked _so_ inviting…

_Get a hold of yourself_, I told myself. There was no use getting excited when it might not happen. 

I took a steady breath. I needed to say something, show him that I wasn't nervous, that I was fully ready to do whatever he asked of me.

"So I met your fiance."

Crap! I didn't mean to say that! That wasn't what I wanted to say, it really wasn't. _I take it back! I take it back!_

A weird expression crossed his face then. It looked like a cross of anger and regret.

He nodded and didn't say anything else about it. Maybe he was saving me from making a huge fool out of myself. But I guess no one can really save me from that.

My mouth just kept going on and on. "Well, I didn't really _meet_ her. But there was some paparazzi in the café I was in yesterday before I saw you and I just happened to hear that that girl was going to marry you." I realized my tone had turned bitter at the end. To make up for it, I added, "and she seems, um…nice."

I attempted a smile, but he just grimaced. Oh, great. I got him mad at me already. Why did I say anything about his fiance? Surely he must have felt something for her and was mad that I said anything mean about her.

Okay, what do I say to make it right?

"Susannah," he started. He stopped and sighed. "I invited you here because I wanted to see you before I got married. But I don't…I already know who I'm marrying. I don't need you to tell me that I'm making a mistake."

Wait…what?

I just stood there and looked at him in the living area. Does that mean what I think it does?

"You don't want to marry her, do you?"

He closed his eyes and sighed. Then he slowly shook his head. Opening his eyes again, he said, "Why would I want to marry anyone but you?"

My breath hitched in my throat. I swallowed and said, "Then why _are_ you marrying her?" I already knew the reason. He had explained it to me in the church. But it seemed like he had no problem repeating himself.

"If I don't, Susannah, I would have to step down as King. My sister would have to take over. And I can't…I can't see her be put through the same agony as I was. It is not fair."

"Well, shouldn't she be the judge of that, Jesse?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice taking on a slight edge.

I sighed. "I mean, shouldn't you ask her what she thinks is best for her, instead of just assuming?"

He looked like he was about to argue with me, but then he must have seen something on my face that told him not to. "I suppose I should talk to her."

I smiled. "Maybe."

He shook his head, as if ridding himself of ridiculous thoughts. He gestured to the couch, "You can sit down, you know."

I laughed. "I know. But shouldn't you sit down first, Your Majesty?"

He groaned. "Please. Not tonight. I just want to escape from that for tonight."

I nodded and sat down on one of the couches. He followed my suit and sat down in the one opposite me. "Alright, Jesse," I said. "Since we're acting normal tonight, what would you like to do?"

I noticed a slight bit of color tinge his cheeks and I smiled. So he _was_ thinking about that.

"I think food should be first. I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"Food sounds good," I agreed. Better start out simple. Maybe after we break out the champagne…

We didn't talk at all while we were waiting for the food and it was really awkward. I wanted to say something to him, _any_thing, but everything I thought of sounded ridiculous.

When we finished eating, Jesse finally spoke. "I have to ask…" he said, "what made you come back?"

_This can be as easy or as difficult as you make it_, I reminded myself. I decided to tell him the truth, not my fabricated, completely heroic version of the truth. 

"My friend CeeCee," I said simply.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh? And how did she do that?"

I smiled at him. "Well, I was miserable, for one, and she noticed that. And then she told me that I was being an idiot and that if I loved you and I knew you loved me, then I should go back and get you."

He laughed. "She's a smart one."

"That's why I keep her around."

He laughed again and smiled at me. His smile always makes me feel like I'm the best thing in the world, that I'm the only thing in _his_ world that matters.

That was when I started thinking about our predicament. "Jesse…" I started to say.

He put his hand up to stop me. "Not now. Please."

I looked at him, incredulous. "Well, when, then? We have to sort this out. I know you don't want to think about it, but we have to _do_ something about it!"

"Susannah." He looked at me with a pained expression. "I know. You're right. But…tonight I just want to…relax, enjoy what little freedom I have left."

I nodded. Somehow, when he put it like that, I couldn't deny him what he wanted. Especially when it seemed like we wanted to do the same thing. If you catch my drift.

Impulsively, I stood up and crossed the little distance between the couches. Jesse looked at me warily, like he knew exactly what I was going to do. I smiled mischievously at him and sat myself down in his lap and curled up against his chest.

_Much _better. 

His arms came around me eventually, but I could tell he was unsure about this situation. I knew better, though. I could _so _tell that he liked the current situation.

"Susannah," his voice broke through my thoughts. I could feel his voice reverberate through his chest.

"Hmm?" I asked innocently.

"I…I'm not sure this is really that appropriate."

I tried really hard to hold back my laugh. What came out was a cross between a giggle and a guffaw. A gigfaw. Or a gufgle. Ha.

"Jesse," I said patronizingly. I turned myself around a little bit so I could look at his face. "If you were worried about propriety, you wouldn't have asked me to meet you in a hotel suite."

I wasn't really expecting what happened next. I was hoping it - you have no idea how _badly_ I was hoping for it. But I never really thought it would happen. I figured maybe he would shake his head and tell me that we needed to talk about things before we rushed into it. Or something along those lines.

But what I did not expect, however, was for him to give me a warm smile and kiss me.

Of course, I kissed him back. Almost instantly. After the shock wore off - which took about a millisecond.

Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and rearranged myself so I was straddling him. All while keeping our lips attached - oh yeah, I'm good.

Jesse groaned against my lips. He grabbed my hips and gripped me closer to him. I could already tell that he was, ahem, _happy_.

His hands slowly started moving up my sides. One stopped on my lower back and pushed me further into him, while the other one inched toward my bra. So, since I figured he meant to rid me of that, I started unbuttoning his shirt, dragging my nails against his chest as I did so, which made him shudder a few times.

I smiled against his lips as I finished the task. Once he realized that his shirt was no longer buttoned, he shrugged out of it quickly and then latched on to me again.

When he slid my t-shirt over my head, I had to break off the kiss to completely rid myself of it. We both looked at each other as that happened. I was a little nervous, because…well, I thought he would realize what was going on (if he didn't already) and stop it all. But he just grinned at me.

I grinned back at him. Then I put my lips as close to his without actually touching them and whispered, "I don't think we should let that bed go to waste."

He chuckled lightly and whispered back, running his hands gently up and down my curves, "I don't think we should either."

And then he lifted me up, my legs involuntarily wrapping around his waist, and carried me into the bedroom with that unbelievably inviting bed…

I figured he would set me down on the bed and then climb over me. But instead, he fell back on the bed and slid up so his legs weren't hanging off the end. I was still on top of him.

Hmm, maybe he liked me being on the top?

Well, I used that to my advantage. First chance I got, I started unbuttoning his pants and sliding them down my legs. He seemed just as eager, since he helped me get the offending garment off as quickly as possible.

Next were my jeans and my bra that was still dangling off my shoulders. And then came his boxers and my panties…

And then, well, there you have it. I'm pretty sure you can guess what happened next.

- § -

When I woke up, it wasn't to light streaming in from the sheer covered windows, or room service knocking on the door, or even the sound of someone in the shower.

It was to almost complete darkness. Which means, I woke up before the sun was even up. Huh, new record.

I could still feel Jesse beneath me, which comforted me. Knowing that he hadn't left me in the middle of the night made me feel better.

But there was still something nagging me. That just because Jesse was with me and we were both very naked and in bed together and did something _spectacular_ the night before…didn't mean that everything was okay.

And when he stirred beneath me and whispered, "_Querida_?" into my ear, I knew what it was.

Jesse was getting married the next day and there was nothing - short of ruining his wedding - that I could do to stop it. I had to see the man that I loved with all of my heart _and_ soul married off to some bimbo who only wanted him for sex and money.

I didn't want to acknowledge that I was awake, even though I was pretty sure he knew that I was. I just wanted everything to seem okay, even if it definitely was not.

"Susannah," he breathed in my ear.

So much for pretending I was asleep.

"Mmm," I mumbled and snuggled closer to him.

He shifted a little bit underneath me. "Susannah, we have to…"

I wanted to ask. But I didn't, because I already knew what we had to do. 

I rolled off of him and onto my side. The coldness swooped in once I was no longer positioned against him, taking me by surprise. I shivered and looked at him.

He was looking back at me with an unreadable expression. I could already tell that the carefree attitude he had the night before was long gone.

"Susannah," he whispered again, reaching out and stroking my hair. "_Dios_," he said and closed his eyes.

I recognized this stage. Don't think that my education had gone to waste. I knew what Jesse was going through then.

Denial.

Because I sure as hell was too.

I didn't want to acknowledge that the night was over and that we had to go back to reality, and I was sure that he didn't want to either. I _knew_ that he didn't want to go back to that _woman_ and marry her. He had already explained that to me the night before.

I closed my eyes too and reached out, letting my fingers caress his face. His chin was beginning the bristle since the night before.

"I love you," I said to him. Saying it probably didn't make things much better for both of us, but it made me _feel_ better - for the moment, at least.

"_Te amo, querida_," he whispered against my fingers, which had glided down his cheeks and to his lips.

And then, just like that, the moment was over. He opened his eyes, blinked at me, and rolled away from me. Wrapping the sheet around him, he got up and walked out of the room and into the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind him.

I sighed, realizing that it was all over. It was up to Jesse now. What he decided to do would impact the rest of both of our lives. He knew that, and I felt bad that it was mostly him that had to decide what to do now.

When I looked out the window, I realized that it was still dark out. I glanced at the clock - 5.26. Holy Jeebus. That was early.

But it had to be early. What we had done the night before was not exactly right, so we pretty much had to sneak out. Early. Before anybody from the tabloids saw him. Or me with him.

I sighed again and got up. I dressed myself in my clothes from the night before. It was a feat, trying to find my clothes. Jesse and I must have flung the garments across the room.

I heard the shower go on. Once I finished getting dressed, I sat back on the bed and watched TV, waiting for him to get out.

He came out in a bathrobe. It would have been better, seeing him in just a towel - or hell, nothing at all - but a bathrobe still was great. It took a lot of willpower to keep me from flinging myself on him and kissing him all over.

"Here," I said, handing him his clothes. I took the liberty of collecting his garments while he was taking a shower. Less time that I had to look at him - less time for me to hold back my lust.

"Thank you," he mumbled and grabbed the clothes. I turned around for him so he could change. I guess he realized that, since he didn't walk back in the bathroom.

When had it come to that, though? Us being so modest? The night before we threw modesty and propriety out the window, but that morning was just…

I guess it was inevitable. We were trying to postpone the inevitable by having a huge….um, slumber party. And I think it made everything even worse for us the next day. Because then we both knew what we were going to miss when he got married.

And it wasn't just the sex. I mean, it was definitely the best I'd ever had - I knew right away that I would be missing _that_. Paul had nothing on Jesse.

But it was just him. Being with him. Letting him hold me and tell me that he loves me. Hearing him laugh at some ridiculous thing that I said. Seeing him smile when I was happy. _Everything_.

Jesse cleared his throat behind me. I assumed that that meant he was finished. I turned around and he was completely dressed, all down to his shoes.

I held back my tears, even though they were fighting to spill. God, why had I thought that I wouldn't feel this way after that night? That I wouldn't feel empty and sad and lonely and…miserable?

Because I was. And he wasn't even gone yet.

Jesse must have noticed that something was wrong. His face softened and he actually let emotion show on his face. I realized then that his look mirrored my own. He felt the same exact way.

And that's what made me start sobbing. The fact that I knew he was feeling just as bad as I was.

"Oh, _querida_," he whispered. He sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me. He rocked me back and forth and whispered things in Spanish in my ear.

I pulled away from him, knowing that I would have to do so eventually. I wiped my face off with the sheet and got up off the bed.

"I think we should get going," I said, my voice sounding scratchy from crying.

"Yes, we should," he said. I heard him get up from the bed. He walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. He put a finger under my chin and forced me to look at him.

"It isn't over, _querida_. Even if I do marry her, I won't stop loving you."

I nodded, knowing that it was true. But it was still the fact that it wouldn't be me that he would be with. It would be some bimbo that could never truly appreciate the man she was marrying.

"I know, Jesse. I know."

He half-smiled at me. It wasn't a warm one, but an attempt at encouraging me to cheer up. I took a deep breath and smiled, too. But I'm sure he could tell it was fake.

"Shall we?" I said, gesturing to the door of the suite.

He nodded. "You should go first. I'll leave twenty minutes after you."

I nodded. "Well I guess this is…goodbye?"

He shook his head. "Not goodbye. Will you be at the wedding?"

I looked down at the ground. "I don't know if I'll be able to handle it."

"Of course," he said in a tone that indicated that he intended to smack himself. "How could I ask you to go through something like that?"

I looked up and into his eyes. "If I'm there, I'm there. If I'm not…then I'm saying goodbye now."

He nodded, realizing that this was the truth. "I know it's a lot to ask…" he mumbled, "but have some faith."

I nodded. "Well, goodbye."

"Goodbye, _querida_."

And I turned around and walked out the door. The only thing that kept me from throwing myself off the next bridge I saw was the fact that he had called me '_querida_' when I left.

**I promised a long chapter and there it is. So please review. :D**


	15. Lovely Freedom

Chapter 15: Lovely Freedom

Jesse

I'm getting married tomorrow, was all I could think as I was walking back to the palace. _And not to the woman I love._

I had called Jake after Susannah left. I knew it would not be wise to walk all the way back by myself (especially after the incident where Susannah was hurt), so I called him to walk back with me. He was, after all, my bodyguard. And my best friend.

We didn't talk at all on the long walk back. But when Jake opened the front door for me and we went inside, he finally turned and asked me, "You wanna talk about it?"

I started to shake my head no, but then I thought about it. I _did_ need to talk to somebody about it. And who better than my best friend?

Finally I said, "Upstairs."

He nodded and we walked upstairs together.

However, before we could walk into a secluded room, I heard a shrill voice sound from behind us. "Jesse! Finally!"

I turned around to Tracy. She was clad in a _very_ low-cut dress that came up higher than mid-thigh, stilettos that made her almost as tall as me (and she was around Susannah's height).

If it were Susannah who was wearing that outfit, I would be drooling. But somehow, Tracy did not elicit any sexual desire whatsoever from me. I could tell she was attractive (_very_ attractive, as some of the body guards like to say), but I did not love her, so it didn't really matter to me.

She ran over to me (well, as much as she could run, without tripping in her deadly shoes) and hugged me. I could feel her breasts pushed against my chest and I wanted to throw up. The only woman I wanted hugging me like that was miles away by now.

She kissed me on the cheek and then released me. She looked up at me and smiled, saying, "Where were you last night? I missed you."

I snuck a glance at Jake and he was smirking. "I was at a meeting with someone, Tracy. I'm sorry for not telling you."

She raised her eyebrows. "A meeting the whole night? I hope it wasn't another girl," she said in a teasing tone. It did not sound as if she was worried about it.

I gulped. I do not think she knew how close to home she hit. "No, of course not," I quickly lied. I hoped God would forgive me after I was through with this. I had a feeling I was going to be doing a bit of lying. "I was in a meeting out of town and I had to stay at a hotel." Well, it was partly true. I just hoped she wouldn't find out what exactly I was doing in the hotel.

She didn't look like she thought I was lying. Instead of spitting at me and calling me a dirty liar, she smiled again and said, "Well, I hope you don't have any meetings tonight. I'd like to be with you."

And she leaned forward to kiss me. Involuntarily, I turned my head away. The only woman I wanted kissing me was most definitely _not_ her.

"Jesse? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied. "I just haven't had a chance to brush my teeth yet."

"Oh," she said and didn't try to kiss me again.

Jake cleared his throat from down the hall, where he had retreated during our conversation. He walked back towards us again.

"Not to interrupt," he said, "but I need your fiance, Tracy. There are some things we need to discuss."

"Like what?" she asked suspiciously.

"Guy stuff," he said and started to drag me away.

"Fine," she grumbled, "but don't forget the rehearsal dinner tonight!"

I do not think it would be possible to forget about that. And my impending doom the next day.

- § -

Jake was staring at me, open-mouthed. It was rather uncomfortable to have him looking at me like that. I knew what I had done was wrong, but the expression he had on his face proved my theory even more.

"Wh-what…" he trailed off, finally shutting his mouth, and cleared his throat. "What were you two _thinking_?" he asked.

I opened my mouth to answer, but he interrupted. "No, no. Not you two. What were _you_ thinking, Jesse?" he asked incredulously. "I mean, I know you're an intelligent guy. But you two having a "sleepover" at a hotel, in a suite, no less? Did anyone else see you guys together at all?"

"No, no one saw us. I made sure of that." I did not answer the first question. Because I was not. Thinking, that is. If I was thinking, I never would have had that blissful night with Susannah. Then again, I would not know entirely what I would be missing if I married Tracy, either. Maybe it is better to be ignorant.

"And besides," I said. "I thought you said you already knew about it? You didn't try to stop her from going to me, did you?"

He looked a little sheepish then. "No, I didn't. And even if I did try, she would have gone anyway. So there wasn't really a point in trying." He cleared his throat. "But that's beside the point. Jesse, if anyone saw you, it could - "

"I'm very well aware of what could happen, Jake. That's why no one saw us. We left at different times."

He groaned. "Okay, fine. But still. I just can't believe you did that. And I'm not even going to entertain the idea that it was an innocent slumber party. I just hope you two were safe."

I felt my face heating up. There was no use denying something that did happen. And I couldn't keep the smile from creeping on my face, no matter how hard I tried to hold it back.

"Oh God. Ew." Jake looked at me with a horrified expression. "I think you keep forgetting that this is my _sister_, Jesse. Don't sit there grinning at a memory when I know what that memory contains." He shuddered. "Gross."

I tried very hard to wipe the smile off my face. Instead, I had to turn my face away from him, so he couldn't see.

"Anyway, moving on," Jake said. "We need to talk about your wedding. It's tomorrow, man, in case you've forgotten. Are you going through with it, or what?"

Well, that wiped the smile off my face really fast.

"I…I don't know." Well, that was honest enough.

"You don't _know_? Come on, Jesse, its tomorrow!"

"I know! I just…after last night…_especially_ after last night…I can't marry Tracy. But I'm not a cruel person and I'd have to be to tell Tracy that I can't marry her the day before our wedding. And even if I _could_ do that…" I sighed, "then I'd have to abdicate and that would leave everything to Marta. You know I can't do that…"

Jake groaned loudly. "You keep saying that. Fuck Tracy. I don't care what she thinks." I threw him an aggravated glare. He ignored it. "You should let Marta decide, Jesse. You can't make all her decisions for her, okay? She's a grown woman." He paused. "And personally, I'd rather not see you marry that gold-digging whore."

I blinked. I wanted to yell at him about his comments about Tracy. But the truth was…I felt the same way. And I couldn't have put it better myself.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right," I admitted. "I need to go talk to her."

Jake looked slightly confused. "Marta or Tracy?"

"Well, both. But Marta first. Then Tracy."

Jake nodded. "Good, good. Let me know how everything goes. In the meantime…" he trailed off and grinned, "I have to go see my woman."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "You go do that. Just be ready for the rehearsal, okay?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," he said and left the room, leaving me all by myself.

I got up from the chair and looked around my room. I wanted Susannah to see this, to be apart of my life. I didn't want Tracy to be the woman that slept in my bed with me, but Susannah. I wanted _mi querida_ to be and do everything with me.

I had to talk to Marta.

- § -

It took a while of searching the palace, but I finally found my oldest younger sister in one of the many living rooms. She was sitting on a sofa, her head leaning against a guy's shoulder.

An instant bout of protectiveness washed over me. Who was this guy? And why was she sitting so _close_ to him?

I calmed myself down, realizing that if I tried to do anything to him, Marta would never talk to me. The last time I had an…incident with one of her "boyfriends", she didn't talk to me for a month.

I cleared my throat from by the fireplace. Marta instantly picked her head up and looked at me. And then groaned.

"What?" she asked, very rudely. "I'm busy, Jesse. Don't you have a fiancé to attend to?"

She knows that angers me, and that's why she does it. The little imp.

I ignored the fiancé comment and said, "I just need to talk to you for a few minutes, Marta."

She rolled her eyes, distancing herself a little from the guy. Of which she hasn't introduced to me yet.

Oops. Spoke too soon.

The guy stood up and walked over to me, holding out his hand. "Hello, Your Majesty, I'm Robert. It's nice to finally meet you."

With a fake smile, I shook his hand and said, "Oh, no. The pleasure's all mine, Robert. But if you'd excuse me, Marta and I have a matter to discuss."

I looked over at Marta, who'd come to stand by Robert's side. "If this is about me dating, Jesse…" she warned.

"No, its not. I assure you. It's…well, its about me."

She looked at me curiously for a second, and then she politely asked Robert to leave. She kissed him on the cheek (she probably would have done more than that if I was not there - now I see what Jake is talking about) and he left.

"So what is it?" she asked, dragging me over to an adjoined sitting room that was fairly smaller and didn't echo as much.

"Its just…I don't think I can go through with this wedding, Marta."

She blinked. "And you pick the day before to say this? Are you retarded?"

I sighed. "Probably."

"Jesse, I don't like Tracy either. But…well, come on." She paused. "Is it because of Susannah?"

I gave her a No-duh look and she rolled her eyes. "Well, maybe you should have thought of that _before_ you agreed to marry her."

"I just…didn't think Susannah wanted to be with me. And…now she does." I groaned. "Why can't anything go right?"

Marta sighed. "Is this what you came here to say? That you don't want to marry Tracy?"

I hesitated. "Not entirely."

"Well, what else is there?"

I sighed. "Hypothetically speaking…how would you feel if I abdicated?"

Her eyes widened. "You're considering it?"

"I said hypothetically."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, _o_kay. Everyone knows that when you say something's hypothetical, its actually true. But seriously. You're thinking about it?"

I sighed again. "I might be. That's why I came here. I need to know…I don't want you to bear the same burden as me if I abdicate. I just…" I trailed off, at a loss or words.

Marta smiled. "Jesse, of course! I mean, you can abdicate. I know you were never the leading type. You've done a good job, but…to be honest, I think I can do better. I was made for this. You were made more for…healing people, I guess."

I looked at her oddly. "So this means…"

"That you can abdicate, call off the wedding, and marry Susannah. Yes."

I blinked. "But Marta -"

"Jesse, shut up. You're always trying to protect me. Have you ever thought that I don't need it? I _want_ to do this, unlike you. Okay? Now stop being a baby and lets go sign the papers now."

"But Marta -"

"Uh-uh. Stop. Jesse, seriously. Even _Madre_ said it before…well…she said that I would be a great ruler, that I got it from her. She said she never wanted you to rule because she knew you'd be better at other things. And she's right."

I sighed. "You're right. But the wedding -"

"Yeah, well. We have to work on that. Obviously, you have to talk to Tracy. I know she'll flip. But tell her you don't want to rule anymore and she wouldn't be a queen if she married you. That might make her see better."

That was exactly what I did _not_ want to do. Talk to Tracy, I mean. But…I had to do it. If I wanted to be with Susannah, then I had to do it.

"Okay, so - "

But I didn't get to finish. Mercedes came in at that moment and started yelling my name. "Jesse!" she screamed and ran toward me, hugging my legs.

I picked her up and sat her in my lap. "What is it, _querida_? Are you okay?"

Her lower lip trembled. "Jakey scared me!"

He had to do this now? "He did, did he? If I let you beat him up, will you feel better?"

She nodded vigorously.

"Okay," I laughed.

I found Jake in the kitchen, munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He looked up and raised his eyebrows when he saw Mercedes attached to my legs. She ran at him and started hitting him, while I sat back and watched.

"Oh no!" Jake cried. "It's the attack of the expensive car monster!"

After she was satisfied with her work, Mercedes left with Marta, and Jake and I talked. I told him about everything and what was going to happen.

"When are you gonna tell Tracy? At the rehearsal?"

Sheepishly I answered, "Well, I…I don't know. I still have to think about all of this."

Jake rolled his eyes. "What's there to think about, man? I know you want to be with Suze, and you _don't_ want to be with Tracy. So isn't the only logical answer to call off the wedding and abdicate?"

He had a point. "Well, yes, but…I'm not entirely sure it's the right thing to do. I don't want to do it and then regret it."

"That's all a part of life, Jesse. You have to make decisions, and sometimes they might not be the right ones, but you have to deal with it."

And I thought he was naïve.

I sighed, knowing that he was right. "I just…how am I going to tell Tracy? I don't care for her too much, but I still don't want to hurt her."

"She's gonna be hurt no matter what. And does it really matter? She's just marrying you for your money anyway."

I knew all of this, of course. It was all painfully obvious.

"I'll figure it out," I finally said. Because I had to. Not just my fate lay in my decision. Susannah's - and Tracy's - did as well.

- § -

"I do!" Tracy answered giddily.

The priest turned to me and repeated what he said to Tracy. And as he was saying it, I knew that I could not go on with this anymore. I knew it before, but the words he was reciting made everything more clear.

And when he was finished I said, "I…I don't."

And everybody - well, that is what it seemed like, anyway - in the room gasped.

Tracy turned to me angrily. "What? What are you talking about?"

See? This was what I was trying to avoid.

I took a deep breath and admitted, "Tracy, I can't marry you. I don't love you."

She blinked. "Love? So what? The wedding is tomorrow!"

"I…I know. But…it took me until yesterday to realize that I can't go through with this." I hesitated. "The truth is, I'm in love with someone else. And…I'm abdicating. Marta is going to take over."

Once again, everyone gasped.

I finally turned around to see that everyone was staring at me in shock. Tracy's parents were outraged and my sisters…well, they acutally didn't look too surprised.

"Woo! Yeah!" someone screamed from my side. I looked to see and it was Jake. I smiled and shook my head.

I turned back to Tracy. "I'm sorry, Tracy. I never meant to hurt you. I…well, I only went through with this because I had to get married for my country. But now…I don't. Even if you marry me, I won't be a king anymore, and you wouldn't be royalty."

She seemed to consider this. I could see Marta smirking from the corner of my eye. "I guess…you're right. I don't really love you either. I mean, you're a nice guy and you're good-looking, but…you're not really my type. I kind of only went through with it because you were rich and my parents thought it would be a good idea."

I wasn't really surprised by this confession. But some of the other people in the room were. Cue more gasps.

She seemed to be thinking about something. "So when…" she finally said, "when you said you were with someone last night, it was another girl, wasn't it?"

I blushed. No use lying now. "Yes, I'm sorry -"

She nodded and half-smiled. "I should be thanking you, actually. For giving me a chance to actually find love."

Marta was waving to me. "Abdicate," she mouthed to me. I nodded.

I nodded and smiled at Tracy, apologizing once more, and then ran out of the room with Marta.

And by the end of the night, I was no longer King. My sister was Queen.

I was free.

**Sorry about the wait! Its been, what, over a month? Well, I guess its better than it being over a _year_, like some of my other stories.**

**Well, anyway, tell me what you think! I'd really appreciate some nice descriptive reviews, as opposed to the "upd8 soon!" ones. But if that's all you have time to do, then that's fine. All feedback is welcome. And I appreciate those who take the time to acutally read my stories. It makes me feel special. :D**

**So yeah, REVIEW please!**


	16. No Risk

Chapter 16: No Risk

Suze

I was staring at the ceiling in the hotel room I booked. It should be considered a sport, or something. Staring at the ceiling, I mean. Especially for the amount of time and dedication that many people put into it. Namely, me.

It must have been, at the least, an hour that I was staring at the ceiling. And then my cell phone started ringing. I was so spaced out with staring at the ceiling that the shriek of my phone made me jump and, consequently, fall off the bed I was laying on.

"Ow," I muttered, rubbing my elbow. On my journey to the floor, I managed to bang my elbow on the nightstand.

"Ugh. Stupid phone." I groped around for it on the floor. I knew it was there somewhere. I didn't feel like getting up to turn on the light. F for effort but A for laziness.

Finally my hand closed over something and I held it up. Yep, that was it. Flipping it open, I answered, "Yeah?"

Okay, so I wasn't the most polite person ever. But seriously. Consider what I went through that day:

Having to leave the best thing that ever happened to me, because he was getting married to some gold-digging bimbo. And not to mention, we had the most amazing night before that, so I _definitely_ knew what I would be missing when he married her.

"Suze?"

Gina. "Duh, who else would it be?"

"Jeez, someone's got a stick up their ass."

I didn't take offense to her comment. I knew I was being bitchy.

"Better than what you've probably got up yours, for the amount of time that you Jake spend together."

"Hey! That was uncalled for," Gina whined. Well, she _was_.

I shrugged, even if she couldn't see it. "Whatever."

She sighed. "Well, why don't you get your bitchy ass over here. Jake wants to talk to you about something."

I rolled my eyes. "Like what? I'm busy staring at the ceiling."

She laughed. "Right. Well, I'm sorry I'm interrupting your oh-so-interesting life. But seriously. Just get over here."

I sighed, sitting up in the bed. It was better than laying here, staring at the ceiling all night. "Where? Jake's place?"

"Um," she mumbled. "No. The palace, actually. He's gonna send a guard out to let you in."

I blinked. "The PALACE? Are you insane? I can't go there."

"Why not?" she asked innocently.

"Hm, let's see. I dunno…maybe because Jesse's gonna be there?"

"No, he's at his rehearsal dinner, dumb ass. Now get over here."

I could tell that she was either lying to me, or there was something she wasn't telling me. Or it could be both. I decided to let it go, not having the energy to fight with her about it.

"Fine, fine. I'll be there in a little bit."

- § -

"Who are you?" the 6 foot-a-million guard asked me.

"Suze Simon. I'm sup - "

He nodded and cut me off, "Right this way."

Wow, that was easy. Shouldn't he need some identification or something?

Shrugging, I followed the guy as he led me through the palace. I remembered when I was in there last, looking for the King to tell him about his father. Little did I know that I was actually going out with the King. Small world.

"Suze!"

Jake and Gina were sitting at a table across from each other. There were two girls sitting there as well, one about my age and the other looked around six or seven years old. I figured they must be Jesse's sisters.

"Hi," I said weakly and sat down next to Gina.

The older girl smiled at me. "You must be Susannah."

"The one and only," I said with absolutely no gusto whatsoever. I wasn't being intentionally rude, I just wasn't in the mood…for anything.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Marta, Jesse's oldest younger sister." Well, that's a mouthful. "And this," she said, gesturing to the smaller girl, "is Mercedes, our youngest sister."

I smiled. "It's nice to meet you too," I said. My voice, even though I tried to sound happy, came out flat and emotionless.

Jesse's sister's smile turned into a frown really fast. "She doesn't like me!" she cried, jumping out of her seat and into her older sister's lap.

That was when I snapped out of it. _Good going, Simon. Way to make a little girl cry_.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. "I like you, sweetie. I never said I didn't. I - "

Marta laughed. "Don't worry about it. She tends to overreact about things."

I leaned back in my chair and exhaled. "I really am sorry. I just…well, I'm not having the greatest day."

She smiled sympathetically. Something told me that Jesse's been having little confessions to his sister. Just hopefully he hasn't been telling her _everything_ there is to know. Like my bra size. Or, you know, what we did last night. Although, I can't really imagine him telling her that without any shame or embarrassment.

I felt someone touching my shoulder and looked behind me at Gina. She looked up quickly and grinned. What was she doing? She just pointed at my bag and mouthed, "For later."

Whatever that means.

"I'm glad I finally got to meet you, Susannah. Jesse goes on about you for hours sometimes. I wanted to meet the girl that had his heart."

I felt my face flush. Did Jesse really talk about me for that long, or was she just exaggerating?

The only thing I could think of to say was, "You can call me Suze."

She smiled. "Suze. I like it. Fits you perfectly."

"Thanks."

It was kind of awkward after that. She didn't know what to say to me and I didn't know what to say to her.

Then Mercedes spoke up.

"Are you still mad at Jesse?"

I blinked. What was she talking about? "Mad? Why would I be mad?"

"He said - he said you were mad. And that's when he went to go find you in America."

I smiled, realizing what she was talking about. That seemed like years ago to me now.

"No, I'm not still mad at him. I forgave him a long time ago for that."

She grinned and jumped off of Marta's lap. Then she proceeded to jump up and down around the room.

"Yay! I knew you'd forgive him. I told him that. I told him that if you loved him then you'd forgive him."

I smiled again at her. She was really cute. "You got that right, kiddo."

I could sense some impatience to my right. I looked over and Jake and Gina were still sitting in the same exact positions as when I got there. "What?" I asked. Then I remembered why I was there. "Gina said you needed to talk to me about something?"

He cleared his throat, hesitating. "Well…its not really me who has to talk to you."

I blinked. "Well who - ?"

That was when Mercedes ran in the direction behind me and screamed, "Jesse!"

I heard an "Oof!" behind me and then a, "What's going on?"

And then, when I turned around in my chair, "…Susannah?"

I snapped my head back to Gina and glared at her. At his rehearsal dinner, my ass. And I so believed her too. She just looked back at me with a Who-me? look.

I turned back to Jesse, because…well, who wouldn't? I mean, come on, he was gorgeous. I could look at him, sure, but I couldn't think of anything to say. And I was also really confused. I mean, why was he here? _Shouldn't_ he be at the rehearsal dinner, and not standing right in front of me?

"I was right!" Mercedes exclaimed proudly from Jesse's arms. "I told you she would forgive you, Jesse! She loves you!"

Jesse was still looking at me in bewilderment. I wasn't sure what for though: why I was there, or what his sister was talking about. Or, you know, maybe both.

Jake cleared his throat. "Right," he said, rising from his chair. "Well, Gina and I better be going or we'll miss our reservations."

I was mad at them for bringing me here, for not even telling me _why_ I was there. Although, I guess it was pretty clear why, exactly, Gina wanted me to come to the Palace. And it wasn't because Jake wanted to talk to me.

Jake helped Gina out of her chair and they left, Gina sneaking me a smirk/grin before she left. I just grimaced at her.

Marta got up then and went over to Jesse, taking Mercedes out of his arms. "I'll take that," she said. I could hear the smile in her voice. Now, what was she up to? "I think you two need to talk."

And then she walked off. I heard Mercedes asking Marta, "Is Jesse gonna marry Susannah?" And then Marta shushed her.

Jesse was still standing there. He looked like he had no idea what to say. Well, join the party. I was speechless, too.

Well, sorta.

I patted the seat beside me. "Here, come sit. Its obvious we've been set up to see each other."

He nodded and walked over to me, sitting down in the seat I indicated.

God, it seemed like years since I had last seen him, when, I reality, it was only that morning.

"The question is though," I went on, "why would we need to see each other? Surely they must know that there's a risk involved, lest your fiance should see us together."

Not that I really cared. I just wanted to get down to the answer. I was really interested as to why they set us up like that. What could we have to talk about that we hadn't already?

Jesse sighed. "Well, seeing as the "risk" is no longer a risk, it doesn't really matter."

I blinked. "Be a little less cryptic?"

He looked me in the eyes as he said, "I'm not getting married, Susannah."

I was getting lost in his eyes, like I've done numerous times before. So I really didn't understand what he was saying. I blinked, again. "Not getting…wait, _what_?"

Oh, I got it then.

He wasn't getting _married_? Well, no wonder everybody thought we had to talk.

He laughed, and, given the tension in the air, it wasn't humorless. "I called off the wedding. I couldn't do it."

"But-but what about Marta? Won't she have to - "

He nodded. "Yes. Everything's already been taken care of. She's the new ruler. I'm…well, free."

"So that…that means…that we can…" I trailed off. It was too good to be true.

He smiled, taking my hands in his. "That we can be together, yes."

"Oh…my God. I…I can't believe this. Jesse, this is…oh, my God."

When Gina told me to come to the palace, I wasn't expecting _this_.

Jesse looked confused for a minute, and then the smile left his face. "Aren't you happy?" he asked carefully, mistaking my state of shock as disappointment.

Did I not look happy? Oh, wait. I was still surprised beyond belief.

My face immediately lit up. "Of course I'm happy! This is amazing!" And then I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. "I'm so glad," I mumbled against his lips.

Jesse was laughing when I pulled back from him. "I'm glad that you're glad."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "Well, I'm glad that you're glad that I'm glad."

He smiled and pulled me back toward him. I was leaning into him, but I was still in my seat. Jesse must have noticed this, since he slid me off my seat and into his lap, holding me there with his arms wrapped around my waist.

"That's better," he murmured into my hair.

I twisted my head around and grinned at him. "I'd say." And then I kissed him again.

"_Querida_," he whispered against my lips.

I shivered in delight at the sound of the word. I snaked my arms around his neck, pushing myself up against him even more. I was pretty sure that we would need to get a room soon.

I think he realized this too, because he pulled away from me and panted, "Not here."

"Then where?" I asked quickly. Did I sound too eager?

Jesse grinned and leaned in to peck my lips again. Then he said that one sweet word, "Upstairs."

**So...yeah. What do you guys think? Too cheesy? Or just right? Or totally awful? Let me know! In the form of a review, preferably. Thanks!**


	17. Crazy Sanity

****

Okay. More apologies are in order. SO SO SO SORRY. Its been, what, six months? I know. I really don't have excuses, besides laziness and no creativity. But, well, it's here, now, isn't it? And I think most of you will appreciate this chapter, even if it's mostly a filler. :D Please remember to review!

* * *

Chapter 17: Crazy Sanity

__

Jesse

"Upstairs."

I could not believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. Why was I making it so easy for myself to lose control? We were not remotely close to being married and yet I was treating her like a tramp.

She grinned at my words. Then she moved herself around on my lap (which was not helping much where resisting was concerned) and wrapped her legs around my waist.

I suppressed a groan and tried to stand up. It was not standing up with her attached to me that was difficult. It was standing up without her feeling how…aroused I was.

"Jesse," she giggled, when I was just standing there for a minute, "come on."

I shook my head and started walking toward the stairs that led to the bedchambers.

I loved the palace. It was not because it was gigantic and…well, rich. I loved the antiquity of it, the architecture, the history. Boy, did this place have history.

Yet, at that moment, I could not help but curse the palace and its designers. How could they make the flight of stairs so _long_? And so far away from the dining area? What were they thinking? Surely the men of the household would want to bring their women upstairs. I am sure that _they_ were not patient when it came to that. Lord knows I was not, either.

And when Susannah laughed as I was carrying her up the stairs and said, "This place needs an elevator," I could not help but agree with her.

Which led to us kissing and me nearly falling backwards down the stairs with her in my arms.

But finally we made it to my bedchamber. She untangled herself from me and went over to the bed. The room was neat and tidy, as it had always been. But I could not help but feel a little self-conscious as she was gazing around the room.

Her gaze returned to me and she grinned. She held her hand out and crooked her pointer finger, in the 'come hither' gesture. I smiled and made my way over to her.

"Mmm," she moaned into my mouth as I was kissing her. "This is more like it."

How true those words were.

But then I realized, as we were lying on my bed, our limbs entwined, and her unbuttoning my shirt, that I was not prepared.

Well, I was ready for _that_. I had been many times. But I did not have an ounce of protection on me. And I felt like an idiot.

How could I work myself up so much like that, and not think to get something to protect ourselves with?

I mean, as much as I wanted to have children with Susannah, I did not think that that was the correct moment to go about doing that.

Then I thought, well, maybe I could pull out in time…

But no. I knew I would not be able to control myself with her. When the time came, I'd want to keep myself buried in her and never let go.

Susannah must have realized something was wrong, since she said, her voice so obviously filled with arousal, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and said solemnly, "We can't do this."

The look on her face then made me want to slap myself. She looked so…miserable. It was as if I had taken away everything from her all in that instant.

And then she started talking. And let me just say, when she works herself into a tizzy like that, I can barely catch what she is saying.

"I thought everything was fine now, Jesse. I mean, you're not marrying that bimbo now, so what's wrong with us doing this? Besides, you seemed fine with it last night and everything and then there were risks involved. But now everything is fine! Don't tell me that you're working toward the whole chastity thing. I think it's a little late for that - "

I laughed and put a finger to her lips to silence her. She did so promptly.

"That's not what I was talking about, _querida_," I said, trying to hold back my laughter.

"Then what," she said, her voice helplessly husky, "were you talking about?"

I sighed and admitted, "I don't have any protection."

She groaned and let out a curse. Normally I would chastise her for it, but I felt like saying the same thing.

"Well maybe you could-"

I cut her off, knowing what she was going to say. "I already thought of that. I won't be able to control myself when we get that far, _querida_, I'm sorry."

She pouted and lay back on the bed. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to do to help. Actually, it was worse for me, sitting there looking at her, her hair sprawled across my pillows, her breasts rising and falling with every breath she took, her nipples puckered underneath the fabric of her bra and shirt…

Then, all of a sudden, her face brightened and she rooted around in her purse at the base of my bed. "Aha!" she said and pulled out a little square of what looked like foil paper…

…oh.

She came back over to me and grinned. "God, you gotta love Gina," she said and kissed me.

And she continued unbuttoning my shirt.

I was still slightly in shock, but when her delicate fingers dipped inside the waistband of my pants…well, let's just say I was no longer astonished. I was more aroused than anything.

She smiled seductively at me and then kissed me again, her hands holding on to my now bare shoulders. They trailed down my back as I attempted to rid her of her own shirt. After her shirt came her bra.

"Jesse," she laughed as I was staring at her chest.

Well, it is hard to tear your eyes away from such a magnificent sight. I would choose that over a sunrise any day.

"_Dios_, you're so beautiful," I whispered, my voice going raspy.

She was looking at me with a small, cute smile on her face. "That's just it, Jesse," she said with a tinge of awe in her voice. "If you had told me that when we first met I would have called you crazy, or accused you of just trying to get in my pants-" her smile went a little sarcastic at that "-but, Jesse, you're the only guy that's ever made me truly feel beautiful."

I was at a loss for words. Her confession had me speechless. How could it have taken _me_ for someone so utterly gorgeous to realize that she is beautiful?

I leaned down with a smile and took her bottom lip between mine. "I thank you for that privilege, then, _querida_," I mumbled around the beautifully plump flesh.

When I let go of her lip, she whispered, "And I thank you for this privilege." I wasn't sure what she was talking about until I felt her hand dip underneath the waistband of my pants and grab hold of me.

I took in a shuddering breath and tried to keep as still as I could. If I moved a little bit, it could move her hand and…

She moved her hand up and down me a few glorious times until I could barely breathe and was _so close_... Finally I could take it no longer. I did not want to…all over her lovely hand. I reached down and unraveled her fingers from around me. "Susannah," I rasped.

She grinned from where she was lying beneath me. "Yes?" she asked innocently.

When I was able to focus on her face, I looked into her beautiful emerald eyes and said, "Don't ever do that unless you know how crazy it drives me."

Her grin turned impish. "That," she said, leaning up to capture my lips with hers, "was exactly what I was trying to do."

Looking at her, lying there like an angel (but not even an angel could ever compare to her beauty), I knew I could not wait any longer. I had to be with her, be _inside_ of her. Now.

She gasped when I started kissing her hungrily and unbuttoning her pants. She kissed me back just as hungrily and harshly and removed my pants as well. Soon our clothing was completely gone and I was free to roam her body as I pleased.

"Jesse…" I heard her moan as I kissed down her body, every inch, every crevice. Once I was sure I had gotten every spot, I went back to the one spot that had to be one of the sweetest on the whole planet. She was hot and slick as I dipped my fingers inside of her and then replaced them with my mouth. "God, Jesse," she panted. "I love you so _much_."

On the word _much_, she squeezed her legs around me. I wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but the message was clear: get a move on.

I extracted myself from that sweet spot and grabbed the little foil square from where it lay on the bedpost and ripped it open. There was plenty of time for me to indulge later. Susannah helped me put it on and as soon as I could feel that she was ready, I plunged into her.

I distantly heard myself groaning her name, her moaning mine in return. She told me she loved me a few times and I repeated the same words back to her, sometimes in English, sometimes in Spanish. I also whispered some words and phrases to her in Spanish that, were I to repeat them in English, would not be very polite.

And then I felt her contract around me, shuddering, and then I collapsed next to her with my release. It felt like I had shot to the moon, reached the stars, and now was falling back to Earth. But it was good, because I'm finally happy here.

****

- § -

I woke up as the sun was coming up over the mountains in the distance, illuminating the sky in magnificent colors. I used to think the sunrise was the most beautiful thing I could ever see, ever witness. But I was wrong.

The women lying in my arms was the most gorgeous sight to behold. And she was mine. She gave herself to me, body, heart, and soul and I wanted her to marry me. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my existence. Not the rest of my life, because, as I have learned from _mi querida_, there is more beyond life and death. And I would become of ghost just to stay with her.

The sun was coming up faster now and the light was shining through my bedroom, onto Susannah's peacefully beautiful face. Her eyelids fluttered and she mumbled something incoherent, though I caught my name amidst it. Then she moved slightly, cuddling herself closer to me (though I'm not sure how that would be possible), and then opened her eyes. She looked disoriented for a second, then she smiled and looked up at me.

"Good morning, handsome," she whispered with a cute little smile.

I smiled back at her and leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Good morning yourself, beautiful."

Her smile was not quite as innocent then. "How 'bout you give me a kiss on the lips this time?"

I chuckled lightly, saying, "What? You didn't get enough last night?"

She moved her arms out of my embrace, reaching up to wrap them around my neck. "Oh, I got plenty." She grinned mischievously. "But I want more."

And she pulled my head down to kiss her. It started out light and tender, but then it heated up really fast. She deepened the kiss and I followed her, meeting her demands, wants, needs, letting her be in control and letting myself lose it.

"Jesse," she said, as if reading my mind, "I want to make love to _you_."

I grinned as she swung her left leg over my body and straddled my waist. "I'm not objecting."

She laughed merrily, her eyes alight, and her body quickly making me aroused. It wasn't long before we were both spent and we drifted off into sleep again.

****

- § -

When I woke up again, I got out of bed carefully, as to not wake Susannah, and went to take a shower. The bathroom was the addition to my room, because when the palace was built, there was no plumbing. And really, there was plenty of space in my room to add a bathroom - a rather large one at that.

When I was finished with my shower, I went back into my room, towel slung around my hips. Susannah was awake now, sitting up in my bed, the sheet tucked under her arms. She looked beautiful - her hair was adorably tousled and she had some sleep lines on her face, but it only made her look more innocent and cute.

She smiled sleepily at me and said, "Why didn't you wake me up? I would have gladly joined you in the shower."

I laughed. "You looked so peaceful. I wouldn't have dared waking you up."

She titled her head to the side, narrowing her eyes, scrutinizing me. "You wouldn't have dared waking me up because I looked so peaceful, huh? Or was it because you know I can be a she-dragon in the morning?"

"I can assure you I was not knowledgeable of that fact. But I will take caution in the future."

She laughed as she got up from my bed, the sheet falling away as she did so. Oh, _Dios_. Why did she have to do that? She _knew_ I could not resist her. Especially when she was striding over to me in absolutely _nothing_…

She gave me a coy smile, reaching forward and grabbed my towel and yanking it lightly so it came undone and fell to the floor.

"I think it was kind of pointless to take a shower, when you had to have known I'd want more when I woke up."

I laughed, but it was not whole-hearted. I was getting aroused, and fast. "You never stop, do you? You're like that pink bunny on those battery commercials. Your stamina amazes me."

That coquettish smile was still on her face as she said, moving ever closer to me, "Are you hinting at something, Jesse? Do you want me to dress up in a pink bunny outfit? And not one of those full-body suit ones. I'm talking the pink ears, a pink bra, pink panties with the little tail on back, and pink heels. And nothing else."

I grinned down at her, not being able to resist putting my arms around her. "I was implying nothing of the sort, but if you would like to, I know that I would not stop you."

She laughed. "Of course you wouldn't. What guy in their right mind would?"

I had had enough of talk, so I slid my hands under her bottom, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around my waist and so we'd be at the same level. I held her there and kissed her, hard. _Dios_, I wanted her so much. I wasn't sure if I could ever go out in public with her again with the way I was around her. Maybe if she wore some _really_ conservative clothes. But then I'd just picture what was underneath those clothes and…_Dios_.

I still had one hand beneath her shapely bottom, and brought the other one up to cup her breast. I broke away from her mouth and started kissing the full mound in my hand. She moaned something about wanting me, taking her now, being in her now. And I would have, too, if my cell phone hadn't started to ring.

I was going to ignore it, but then I sighed and set Susannah on the ground. "Go take a shower," I told her as I picked up my phone. I saw that it was Jake.

Susannah sounded annoyed as she stomped off to the bathroom. "You can join me if you like!" she shouted back.

I smiled as I answered the phone. _Dios_, I loved her so much. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jesse. Good morning. How was your evening?" he asked.

I laughed. "You say that as if you really want to know, and knowing you, I doubt that you do."

"Okay, that's enough. Knowing that you two are together is enough for me. I don't need any details. God," he said, "if it was any other women, I'd encourage the details."

"You know I wouldn't give them anyway."

"Yeah, I know. You're too chivalrous for that."

"Chivalry doesn't really play into it, Jake. If it did, I probably wouldn't have any details to give."

Jake really laughed at that. "Touché, man, touché."

"So," I said, turning to face the bathroom door, which Susannah had left open. I so badly wanted to join her. "Is there a reason you called?"

I didn't mean to sound impatient, but Jake heard that and laughed. "Ouch. Burn." He laughed again, then said, "Yeah, actually there was a reason I called. Gina said something about needing to talk to Suze."

"Susannah has her own phone, does she not?" I asked, still staring at the bathroom door. I heard the shower turn on. _Dios_.

"Yeah, but Gina said Suze wasn't answering it. So either it's dead or…she's been too busy to answer it. But I'm just going to assume that the phone is dead."

I laughed despite myself. "It probably is. I'll tell her to call Gina. Maybe we can meet up for lunch after Marta's ceremony."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

There wasn't much more we could say to each other, so Jake sighed and mumbled, "I'll let you get back to her. See you in a few hours." And he hung up.

I looked at the time on my phone and swore. _I_ had plenty of time to get ready, but I knew how long it took for women to get ready. And especially since Susannah had to go back to her hotel and get some clothes…

My phone beeped in my hand. Text message. It was Marta. _Tell Susannah that she can wear something of mine. I know she's still there with you and it would take too long for her to get her own clothes before the ceremony._

I seriously think she can read my mind some times, even when we are not even near each other. And that probably is not a good thing, especially when I'm thinking about _mi querida_.

I smiled and picked my towel up off the floor and wrapped it around my waist again, hoping maybe it would hide the evidence of our little session a few minutes ago. But it was a futile attempt. Oh, well, Susannah would figure it out eventually.

So I let the towel drop again and headed toward the shower.


	18. Poker Night

**Hi, guys! So yes, this is an update. I guess I really don't have that great an excuse for being away from FFN for so long. I actually tried uploading this and I was like, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! Everything changed since I last uploaded a story. That just shows how long I haven't been on here for. My excuse for my extended absence? College. But then I just had no motivation to write at all. I couldn't think of ANYthing to write at all. But then I want to be Jesse's girl PMed me and got me thinking. So here is my newest chapter. It might not be that great (and not to mention, its a little short), since I haven't written in a good long while. But I got a little inspiration as I was writing, so this story might be longer than I had originally expected. So yes, here it is! Please remember to review! I'm hoping your guys' feedback will keep me writing!**

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**Chapter 18: Poker Night**

_Suze_

His eyes were sad but full of promise. Mine probably looked like someone just murdered my favorite puppy right in front of me.

Jesse reached out and caressed my cheek, his calloused fingers causing chills - _good_ ones - to tingle down my spine. He smiled, his hand moving to cup my chin. His voice was gentle and comforting, which was something I needed. "Don't worry, _querida_, I'll come visit you when this business with Marta is over. I love being with you, you know that, but it's also important for you to go back to school."

I nodded. I had taken too much time off, to the point where I lost all credit in the classes I was taking this past semester. But it was mostly my money, anyway. I could pay it back eventually.

"I know it is, Jesse. I just…" I looked down, grasping his hand in mine and intertwining our fingers. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

He smiled somewhat sadly. "I know. I will miss you, too. But…we have phones and e-mail until I get a chance to see you."

My head bobbled up and down again. "I know, I know. This is just really hard for me."

He leaned down toward me and wrapped his arms around me. "I know, _querida_, it's difficult for me, as well. But we shall be together soon, I promise."

I narrowed my eyes at him and his 'soon'. "How soon is 'soon'?"

He chuckled lightly and I felt my spirits picking up slightly. Just the fact that he was laughing was a good thing and that I was hearing it…

"Soon," he answered and then kissed me before I could protest. Not that I would complain after that.

"Flight 1183 to Carmel Valley is now boarding."

I glanced up as if I would see the lady speaking. I wanted to strangle her. She couldn't have waited a few more minutes to announce the flight?

Jesse laughed at my expression and pecked my nose. But then I grabbed him and kissed him even more fervently than before. We could wait until the last call…

We relegated to a secluded corner to make out until the last call for the flight was made. And then all too soon it was there.

"Last call for the boarding of Flight 1183 to Carmel Valley Airport."

"Ugh," I grumbled and Jesse slid his arm around me, walking me to the flight gate. It kind of felt like I was being sent to the firing squad.

After the lady took my ticket and checked it, I looked back at Jesse, who had returned to the waiting area. He smiled widely when he saw I was looking and mouthed 'soon, I promise.' I nodded, taking a deep breath, and turned back around and walked past the gate toward the plane.

**- § -**

CeeCee and Adam were waiting for me when I got off of the plane. They both looked really happy to see me. I was happy to see them, too, but I guess it didn't really show. I mean, there were two stop-overs on the flight back, so total travel time? Somewhere around fourteen hours. Needless to say, I was not in the best mood.

CeeCee seemed to understand this, though. She came over and gave me a hug while Adam grabbed my bags. Before the flight, I had called her and told her everything that had happened (well, maybe not _everything_ - I did leave out the parts that involved Jesse's bed). That might have been why she was smiling so brilliantly.

Or maybe it could have been the bomb she dropped as soon as we got in the car.

Adam had taken the driver's seat and started the car up. CeeCee sat in the back with me. As Adam was backing out of the parking spot, she said, "Suze, there's something Adam and I want to tell you."

I just looked at her blankly. Maybe if I hadn't been so completely jet-lagged, I would have guessed right away. But my brain was working at maybe half-potential, if that. So I, of course, asked what they needed to tell me.

I had gotten a coffee on the way out of the airport, so I was taking a sip when she said, "I'm pregnant."

And then I spewed coffee all over the back of Adam's seat. I think some even got in his hair. Okay, yeah, some got on him, judging by the 'What the hell, Suze!' that I got.

"Sorry, sorry. I _so_ was not expecting that. Oh, my God!" My eyes were as wide as could be and I was staring at CeeCee. "You're _pregnant_?" I practically shrieked. Well, maybe there was no practically about that.

Cee nodded, smiling widely. "Isn't this great? Adam and I all ready have names picked out for boys and girls."

"You mean _you_ have names picked out," Adam grumbled.

Cee punched him in the arm. Adam squeaked and said, "Hey! Driving here!"

I couldn't help it; I laughed. It just seemed so _normal_. I mean, this was the way they had always been, even before they got involved. And now they're having a _baby_. It seemed so…I don't know. Surreal, I suppose.

"You know, Cee," Adam said as he was taking the ramp away from the airport. "You didn't even tell her the other thing. Probably what you should have said first."

CeeCee giggled. Yes, giggled. I blinked in shock. "Oh, right!" she said. "Well, sorry, Adam. The baby thing kind of came out first. But okay." She grabbed my hands again and said, "We're getting married."

I blinked again. Then I said, "Well, I hope so. You know, if you're gonna have a baby."

Cee laughed. "No, Suze. I mean, Adam proposed to me before I found out I was pregnant. Actually, I found out the next day. I just figured I'd give it to you in one lump, in person."

I was shaking my head at that point. Not like anything was wrong. I was just shocked, is all. Although, I probably shouldn't have been, since it was so obvious they loved each other anyway. But still.

So I gave Cee a genuine smile and hugged her. "Congrats, guys. Couldn't have happened to better people."

And that's when Cee dropped the two biggest bombs. "And you're going to be my maid of honor and the baby's godmother."

Oh Lord.

**- § -**

The next couple weeks were spent setting up for CeeCee and Adam's engagement party. I had talked to Cee's mom, and convinced her to let us have it at my parent's house. Of course, it was going to be a surprise, so keeping it a secret from Cee Cee and Adam proved the largest difficulty of all.

The engagement party took place two weeks after I got back to Carmel. Gina and Jake had flown back a few days before the party so they could be there for it. It definitely would not have been the same without them.

About an hour into the party, all of us females were gathered in the living room around the coffee table. Those of us who were unlucky enough to not have snagged a seat on the chairs or couches were sitting Indian-style on the floor. We were all playing a game of poker, females only. Because, you know what it's like when guys get involved in poker. It's no longer fun. The guys were in the other room watching football, like guys are wont to do.

So there we were, playing poker. Cee Cee, Gina, myself, my mom and Cee Cee's mom, some of Cee's college friends that were in the area, some old friends from high school, and some of Cee's female relatives. There were fourteen of us total. It was a big game of poker. And not to mention, most of us there were pretty much trashed from all of the champagne that was going around (except for Cee, of course, being preggers and all).

Needless to say, when Gina ended up bluffing through the whole round and revealing her hand of a high card of a king of hearts, I wasn't really surprised when she pointed at it and said, "Look, Suze, it's Jesse!"

I rolled my eyes. Maybe if I had been a tad bit more sober, it would have astonished me. But Gina and I, like when we're sober, are always on the same wavelength. So my drunken reply was, "Pshh. Gina, Jesse's sword is _way_ bigger than that."

Which got a mess of drunken giggles. My mother was just as trashed as the rest of us, so she was giggling too. Then she looked at me and asked, "Who's Jesse?"

See, I hadn't really told anyone about Jesse and I, besides Cee and Gina, who already knew. I don't really know why. Maybe it was just that the right time never came up. But I think it was mostly that I was afraid of their, mostly my mother's, reactions to it. Not that I thought she'd be unhappy with me; I just didn't really know what to expect and didn't want to go through the whole story a bajillion times.

But my inebriated mind didn't have any qualms about telling the story to every person in the room. When I finished with the tale, every woman was looking at me with fascination. And I realized what was on everyone's minds when Cee Cee's cousin, Amanda, asked me incredulously, "You got it on with a _king_? What was that _like_?"

And I, of course, replied with, on a dreamy sigh, "Heavenly."

Cee Cee was giggling uncontrollably, probably because I was drunk and talking about how great having sex with a king was, especially in front of both our mothers and her grandmother, not to mention, various members of her extended family.

By this point, the game of poker was long forgotten and everyone was interested in what I had to say about shagging a king. Not that I spoke of that aspect of the story. Much.

"So where is he now?" asked Trish, one of Cee's college friends. This one always kind of annoyed me, not that I really knew her that long. She was one of those uppity types that you just knew was talking about you behind your back.

Somehow, though, I managed not to convey my deep dislike for her. "Back with his sister, helping her for the first few months of her reign. I wanted to be there with them, but I knew I had to come back and finish school."

I got many more questions on what it was like to bed a king. I tried to answer them with as little details as possible, since, really, those were private moments.

"When is he coming back to see you? I mean, he _is_, right? After he told you he loved you?" The sneer on her face was evident, but no one was paying attention to her face except me. Everyone else was focused on me, wondering what my answer would be.

Remind me never to get drunk and reveal things like this ever again. But by the time this question came, by drunken haze had waned to the point where it was just a slight buzz. So at least I could file away her sneer and tone in my brain.

I shrugged. "I don't know. He couldn't really set a date, since he doesn't know when he'll be finished with everything."

She didn't ask any more questions after that, though I could tell she wanted to. I wasn't quite sure what was with her fascination with Jesse and me. I mean, everyone else was enthralled, too, but she was the only one who wasn't asking questions about royal sex.

Finally those questions had died down and there were new topics of conversation; thank the Lord. Soon enough, everyone was leaving and I was exhausted.

As I was saying goodbye to everyone leaving, I overheard Trish talking on her cell phone, to someone named Paul. I don't know why, since I hadn't thought of him in forever, but hearing his name made me think of my ex-boyfriend.

A crazy thought came to mind, but I immediately shook it out of my head. "No," I mumbled to myself, "there's no way."

And that thought was history as more people came up to me thanking me for a great time. Soon enough, it was just Gina, CeeCee, my mother, and me and we headed back inside.


	19. Desperate Love

**Yay, new chapter! This one is a lot longer, for those of you who requested that. I really liked this chapter, so hopefully you all will too! Please review!**

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Chapter 19: Desperate Love  
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_Suze_

The wedding happened only two months later. For a little while there, CeeCee wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She said she was on the fence between having the baby or the wedding first. In the end, she picked the wedding. When I asked her what made her decide, she said, "Suze, do you honestly think I'm going to be looking my best after I have the baby? I'd rather be glowing like I am now, then looking like a vampire crack addict at my wedding."

So that pretty much decided it.

The wedding was supposed to be a small, quaint gathering of close friends and family. But when I, squealing, told her that Jesse was going to be able to make it, she decided to expand the guest list a little to include Jesse and, of course, his five sisters. I didn't even ask her; she insisted that they all come to her wedding. Then, of course, we had to fight back the paparazzi that wanted to crash the wedding, but kicking butt is what I do best.

Planning for the wedding was fun at first. CeeCee seemed to love it, and my mother, having been asked to help by Cee and her mother, was having a blast. My dear mother kept telling me to get engaged already, so she could plan my wedding. Yeah, Mom, don't know if that's going to happen. Because, really, if Jesse and I ever get married, I want it to be completely the opposite of what my mother wants: small and peaceful.

After a bit, though, the planning got a little redundant and annoying, so I decided to quit while I was ahead. Not that anyone really noticed. My mother and Cee's mother had it covered. Apparently I was more of a hindrance than a help, anyway. Especially when, after being relegated to filling out invitations, I had messed up on one envelope. My mother quickly put me on stuffing envelopes instead. _That_ got boring pretty quickly.

I spent those last couple weeks before the wedding helping out Father Dominic at the Mission. Most of it was mediator business, but sometimes he needed help with the summer camp, which was new that year. It was more of a bible camp, really. But the kids didn't seem to care. It was fun sometimes, actually; the kids were so carefree and innocent (well, most of them anyway) and it was better to be around them than the constantly-worrying adults in my life. Father Dom liked having me around, since he claimed I had a background in childcare. Not really, since I only worked two summers at the Pebble Beach Resort as a babysitter.

I didn't really liked to be reminded of that, since that was where I had originally met Paul: babysitting for his dear little brother, Jack. That poor little boy whose older brother wouldn't even tell him why he was seeing ghosts; Paul didn't even help Jack with his ability when he had the same one. Not once did he reassure him that he wasn't crazy. That was, of course, where I came in. After one summer with me, dear Jacky turned into a spry little eight-year-old. His parents thought of me as a godsend, when really I only told the kid that he wasn't the only one that could see dead people.

Unlike Father Dom, though, Sister Ernestine had her doubts about me. Doubts that she voiced at every chance she got. After attending the Mission for two years with her breathing down my neck, I learned to ignore her. Or at least to be condescending in a polite sort of way.

I soon realized why Father Dom _really_ wanted me to help out with the summer camp. Two of the kids attending were mediators. It surprised me, actually. I mean, one was enough, but _two_? What, was Carmel becoming a breeding ground for ghost whisperers? Apparently so.

While the counselors were busy playing with the kids, I watched the ones that were suspected mediators. Sure, I played with the other kids too, but this was actually my first priority. Tommy and Frankie were their names. No, they were not both boys. Tommy was a boy and Frankie, short for Francine (which she was vehemently opposed to being called), was a girl. Tommy was a golden-haired, hazel-eyed, tan boy with a smile that could even melt the heart of…well, me. Frankie, on the other hand, was a dark-haired, dark-eyed little girl with ivory skin. Though she hated being pale now, as she kept telling me, she would be envied for her lustrous skin in a few years. Needless to say, I took a great liking to both of them and, after asking CeeCee if it was okay, invited them to the wedding.

Tommy and Frankie were great kids, though Frankie was a bit of a troublemaker. When I brought this up to Father Dom, he only smiled, stating that it took one to know one. I just scowled at him and went back out to help the kids. Frankie, who was eleven, was a year older than Tommy was, though they both seemed to hit it off right away.

After confirming that Frankie and Tommy were, indeed, mediators, Father Dom talked to their parents individually when they came to pick up their kids, telling them that their children had special gifts from God that needed special attention. The parents completely gobbled it up. When Frankie and Tommy came back on that first Saturday for lessons, Father Dom and I told them about us and explained to them what they were. Frankie, just like me, as Father Dominic kept reminding me, immediately hated it. Tommy, though, loved it. He thought it was cool that, out of only a handful of people, he got picked to see dead people. His words, not mine.

Even after only working with them for a few weeks, I grew to really care about those kids. I felt like it was my responsibility to look after them, considering my expertise (ha!) in the field. They really grew on me, though. Even Frankie's incessant commentary on my appearance ("could your jeans _be_ any tighter?"). I was with the kids as much as I could be, telling them stories of my various ghostly escapades.

And when Jesse arrived a few days before the wedding, I brought him over that Saturday to meet Father Dom and the kids. Before I led him into Father Dom's office, where the children's 'lessons' were, I told him that Father Dominic and the kids were like me, that they could see ghosts. Jesse, who had learned months ago what I was, seemed excited to meet more people like me. It made me happy, and extremely grateful, that he took all of it in stride.

Father Dominic and the kids, of course, took an instant liking to him. Not that I was really worried about that, actually. After learning that Jesse knew about us mediators (but was not one himself, much to Father Dominic's disappointment), Father Dominic took it as his sole responsibility to tell Jesse some extremely embarrassing stories of my high school career. And not all of them were ghost-related.

But anyway, back to the wedding.

CeeCee, of course, looked amazing. Having only been two months along, her bump wasn't even showing yet, so she was able to get a normal wedding gown. She went with black, actually, telling me that the white would only make her looked 'washed out.' That girl has quite the sense of humor, I'm telling you. Of course, the black only made her look whiter, which was quite a feat. But, despite her not wanting to look like a vampire bride, she totally did. I should have insisted on the glow-in-the-dark plastic fangs and blood makeup.

The bridesmaids, including me, wore lavender off-the-shoulder gowns, as to complement CeeCee's eyes (this was, and I take pride in it, my idea). The dresses, contrary to what most bridesmaids dresses are like, were beautiful. I, for one, would like to use mine again. And not just because it cost a fortune. The shoes were another story. Adam's bow-tie even matched our dresses.

The ceremony kicked ass, mostly because Father Dom was doing the marrying. It most-assuredly would not have been the same without him. The married couple's kiss definitely heated up the room a little, too. I even saw a lady in the front row closest to where I was standing cover her son's eyes. It was quite comical.

After the ceremony, the bride and groom did typical wedding stuff, such as cutting the cake and shoving it in each other's faces. Which, I noticed, CeeCee did with extreme relish. Adam didn't even look surprised.

I decided to take a time-out when CeeCee threw the bouquet. I could hear all the girls squealing, "Throw it to me!" I saw Cee chuck it behind her. I knew she was never good at sports or anything, but seriously. So I shouldn't really have been surprised when it landed right in my lap (and now that I think about it, she probably has pretty good aim). Jesse, who was standing a few feet away talking to my step-brother, Jake, started chuckling. I scowled at him, throwing the bouquet back into the crowd of females who were staring at me dejectedly, and even some, hostilely.

Not long after that I got pulled into a circle of people talking about politics. Jesse was by my side, with his arm wrapped around my waist, so it wasn't too bad. But still, I hated talking about politics. Jesse, on the other hand, was talking animatedly with the rest of the group. Well, I shouldn't have been surprised. It _was_ only a few months ago that he was the king of his own country. The people in our little circle knew this as well, so they were listening to Jesse with rapt attention. I, on the other hand, was trying, and failing miserably, to not look bored. When the conversation was handed over to someone else, Jesse gave me a reassuring smile - one that promised me I would definitely not be bored later. I shivered in expectation, which only made Jesse's smile wider. I admit it, I was grinning like a fool.

At least until I heard someone's shrill voice saying, "Trish! What are you _doing_? Can't you see he's evil? I know he's hot, but _come on_!"

I looked at Jesse and the people next to me, who were all still talking as if they hadn't heard this ridiculously high shriek. Then I inwardly groaned. Of course, some ghost just _had_ to crash the wedding. Meanwhile, Trish's glowing companion was still shrieking high enough that, if she were still alive, there would not be one piece of glass left intact within a mile radius.

With a smile pasted to my face, I politely excused myself from the circle of people. They gave me smiles in return, CeeCee's mother telling me, "Don't be gone too long! Pictures soon!" To which I gave another fake smile. Don't get me wrong, having pictures of Cee and myself on her wedding day would be awesome, but…actually getting the pictures taken? Not so awesome. I'm not exactly the most photogenic person out there. Jesse gave me a confused look and gestured to go with me, but I just shook my head and smiled.

As calmly as I could, I walked toward where I could see the glowing figure. She was standing next to Trish, who was standing in front of the fountain and, of course, talking on her cell phone. What did Cee ever see (ha-ha, I'm so hilarious) in this woman? I mean, Cee and I always didn't get along with the phone-attached-to-the-ear types with platinum blonde hair. But maybe there was something about her that I just didn't see. Could be. But probably not.

The ghost was a girl around the age of sixteen, with strawberry blonde locks and the clearest blue eyes I've ever seen. Without looking at her too closely, I realized that this must be Trish's sister. Trish's dead sister. The resemblance - the hair, the eyes, just the face in general - was striking. Even though I didn't like Trish too much, I still felt bad. Losing someone you love, such as a sister, is never easy. So maybe there was a reason for her bitchiness, after all. Not that it exactly excuses her behavior, but it made me understand her a little more.

"He took me away!" the girl shrieked again, still trying, and failing, to get her sister's attention. "He took me to this creepy place and left me there!" The ghost girl threw herself into the fountain, probably hoping that she'd make a splash or something. She didn't. "And then this weird dude in a gladiator outfit told me I wasn't supposed to be there and I just sorta ended up back here… He kinda looked like Russell Crowe, actually. A _much_ cuter version, I must say…" Obviously this particular ghost had the attention span of a three year old.

The thing was, I knew exactly what this teenage ghost was talking about. Shadowland. Someone had taken her there. But who, besides me, could do that?

Oh, who am I kidding? I already knew who it was; and if I didn't, it wouldn't be that hard to figure out, since the person in question had come up behind me, whispering in my ear, "Hello, Susie. Fancy seeing you here."

I whirled around, which, in retrospect, was not the greatest idea. All it did, besides me getting to see Paul Slater's smirk, was put me flush up against him, where I _so_ did not want to be at that moment. Especially since my royal boyfriend was only about a few yards behind me. I briefly wondered how I hadn't noticed him at all before this. Well, I suppose it wasn't that difficult to hide from me at a wedding where I was the maid of honor - the first time I had really gotten to be with Jesse the whole day was in that political circle.

I took a few steps back before hissing, "What are you _doing_ here, Paul?"

Which only served to deepen his smirk. "You haven't met my girlfriend, Suze? She's over there," he said, pointing at, of course, Trish, whose spectral bodyguard was still going on about Russell Crowe, though Trish still couldn't hear a word of it.

"Oh yeah? And where does her sister's ghost come in, Paul?" I asked, annoyed. I think I already knew at that point. Or, at least, something along the lines.

Paul's ice-blue eyes twinkled, like he thought something was funny. "Cute little thing, isn't she? She's actually Trish's older sister. Died when Trish was only thirteen. Poor girl."

It didn't sound like he was too sympathetic, though.

I felt my face heating up, but from anger instead of embarrassment. "So you took her to Shadowland to make her feel better, huh?" I spat.

He just shrugged, like he had not a care in the word. "She got on my nerves," he said simply, examining his fingernails.

I crossed my arms over my chest in the infamous pissed-off pose. "She did, did she? Mind telling me how she got back here?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, his eyes turning icy. "I don't really think it's any of your business, Suze."

I narrowed my eyes at him, unconsciously taking a step closer. "What are you doing here, really?"

He just grinned, stepping closer to me as well. "What, you think I came just for you?" I did, actually, but I wasn't going to confirm it. "I was surprised, actually, to find you here. And the maid of honor, no less! By the way," he said, giving me a lingering once-over, "that dress is quite fetching."

_I'll give you fetching_. Of course, I didn't say this aloud. I didn't believe him for a minute, either. He had known I was going to be here, because of Trish. But what I couldn't figure out is how he knew Trish to begin with. Couldn't have been a stroke of luck on his part, could it? Although I wouldn't really be surprised. The universe seems to always conspire against me, and this situation shouldn't be any different.

My eyes slid over to Trish's sister, who finally stopped talking about Russell Crowe and remembered what she was saying before. But it was no different this time. Trish was obviously still oblivious to her. I'd definitely have to try and talk to that girl later. Obviously Paul hadn't told the poor girl anything about being dead. I sighed, focusing back on the evil guy in question.

Arms still crossed over my chest, I asked pointedly, "So what did you want, Paul? Other than annoying me, I mean."

He threw his hand over his heart in mock-surprise. "Oh, Susie, I would _never _want to do that."

I started tapping my foot impatiently. "You didn't answer my question."

He shrugged. Then he glanced over his shoulder to where he could see Jesse plainly. Jesse was still conversing with the group, so I didn't have to worry about him seeing Paul and I talking together. "That's him, isn't it? It'd be a shame if something were to ever happen to him."

I blinked in shock. That quickly turned to anger, though. "Are you _threatening_ him?"

"Of course not," he replied sweetly. "Why on Earth would I do that?"

_Gee, why ever?_

"You leave him alone, Paul," I said angrily, stabbing his chest for extra emphasis.

He grabbed my finger, pulling me in closer to him. "You know you can't stop me."

Then he let me go and sauntered over to Trish. She gave him a very seductive smile, along with a very inappropriate kiss, so I looked away. But not before I saw the evil glint in Paul's icy blue eyes.

I was still in shock over what just happened. Paul just threatened Jesse. My chest tightened and my throat constricted, tears threatening. I was scared, but I managed to push the tears back and pull myself together. What the _hell_ was I going to do?

It was as I was pondering this that Jesse came over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist affectionately. He seemed to realize something was wrong, since he said, "_Querida_, what happened? Are you alright?"

I cleared my throat before saying, "Yeah. I, um…I'm fine."

Well, gee, that was convincing. Jesse obviously didn't believe me, but since I looked fine physically, he didn't press it. But he whispered into my hair, after kissing my forehead, "You will tell me later," to which I couldn't really disagree.

Then he steered me over to where a bunch of people were gathering around for photos. "Mrs. Webb asked me to come get you. She didn't want the maid of honor to be absent from the photos."

I nodded, regaining my composure. So for the next hour or so, I was moved around constantly, being forced into this position and that. So, needless to say, when the photographer was happy with the photos he had gotten, I was over the moon. I suppose the few glasses of champagne in between didn't hurt either. Plus, I was trying to put the whole business with Paul out of my mind. I didn't feel like worrying about what he might do to Jesse.

When the bride and groom finally left for their honeymoon, Jesse and I stayed with the rest of the guests. We took pictures with his sisters and Gina and Jake. I snuck away for a little bit to find ghost girl. Hopefully she wouldn't be near Trish and Paul. I really didn't feel like dealing with him again.

Luck seemed to be on my side, since I found her in the restroom. She was sitting on top of one of the many fancy sinks, sobbing. My heart clenched. This poor girl must have been through hell. As if dying wasn't enough, she had some psycho boyfriend of her (alive) sister's hauling her into limbo.

After checking to make sure that the stalls were empty, I turned to the sobbing girl. She didn't seem to pay any attention to me, probably thinking that I was just like any other human and could not see her.

So, with my astounding tact, I said, "Are you Trish's sister?"

She looked up quickly, her eyes darting across the room to see if I was talking to someone else. And then she looked back at me and screamed. I was totally not prepared for that reaction. I didn't understand it, either. Okay, so I wasn't the most attractive human being on the planet, but was my face enough to cause a girl to scream?

"Hey, hey!" I tried to calm her down. She just kept looking at me and screaming and then sobbing some more. And then I could tell she was about to dematerialize. I shot a hand out and stopped her. "I need to talk to you," I said, in the least threatening voice I could muster.

She looked at me again, and this time she did not scream. "Please don't hurt me," she whimpered. "Please don't take me to that place again."

And then I understood. She thought that I was like Paul. That I was going to take her to Shadowland.

I dropped my hand from her arm and shook my head. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not like Paul."

She didn't say anything, so I continued. "I saw you earlier with Trish by the fountain. I heard what you said about him taking you to that creepy place. I need you to tell me what happened."

She nodded, but still didn't say anything. "Your name?" I prompted.

"Mandy," she answered.

I nodded. "Okay, Mandy. I'm Suze. Now, can you tell me what happened?" I asked in my best clinical psychologist voice.

She nodded again, still not saying a word. I waited a few minutes and then she said, "I was with Trish, watching a movie. She was waiting for Paul to come over. It was the first time he had come over to take her on a date. I had seen him with her before, but that was before he asked her out. I thought he would be good for her, you know?" She laughed hollowly, not a sound I ever like to hear. "Boy was I wrong. You know, I never even suspected he could see me. He didn't even give me one clue. He just ignored me. Until that day that he came over to her apartment for their date. He ignored me as usual. Then Mrs. Plotner next door came knocking on the door frantically asking if we'd seen her dog. He always gets out and hides in the laundry room downstairs. So Trish went to go help Mrs. Plotner find her dog. Paul stayed in the apartment. That's when he first talked to me."

She took a deep breath and kept talking. "At first I didn't realize he was talking to me. But then he started saying my name and I realized he must be talking to me, though I was still shocked. He asked me a couple questions, about how I died, how old I was, why I was still with Trish. And then…then he just _grabbed _me. And before I could form my next thought, I was standing in this foggy hallway with doors that went on forever. Paul was standing next to me, grinning, as I was taking everything in. Then I said, 'I don't like this place. Can you take me back?' He just shook his head, telling me that he couldn't have his girlfriend's sister's ghost hanging around. It would ruin everything. And then…he just _left_ me there. I don't think I had ever been so scared in my life, even when I had died."

She stopped, and that was the end of her story. But I still needed to know something. "How did you get back, Mandy?"

She shrugged. "The gladiator guy told me I didn't belong there. But that was it. He just walked away. And then, the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the couch with Trish again, like nothing had ever happened. Except, she still couldn't see me."

"And what happened when Paul saw you again?"

She sighed. "He seemed shocked at first, but then that was it. He didn't take me there again."

I nodded. I figured as much. Paul was never one to make the same mistake twice.

Now its time for some good old-fashioned mediation.

"Listen, Mandy. You don't belong here. I'm not going to take you away like Paul, but you really need to think about why you're still hanging around. You're not destined to be your sister's shadow for the rest of her life."

"You think I can leave her now, with that creep hanging around her?" she asked angrily.

I shook my head, amazed at how much she obviously cared for her sister. "No, Mandy. I'm not going to make you leave. I'm going to sort this thing out with Paul, and when that's done, you need to let your sister live her life."

"But," she said, her blue eyes going wide, filling with tears, "what if she needs me? How will I be able to help her?"

I shook my head, laying my hand on her shoulder. "Mandy," I said gently, "I'm sorry, but you are no help to your sister right now. Being dead…doesn't really help you help those you love."

She nodded. She was a quick learner. "Will you help her, then?"

I smiled at her, then nodded. "Of course I will." I had been in the restroom to long already. I was surprised no one had come in yet. "Now, Mandy, I have to go. But listen, if you see Paul, or even your sister, doing anything suspicious, come find me, alright? I need to know."

She nodded, smiling. "Thank you, Suze." I smiled at her and then headed out the door to find Jesse. I found him talking to Father Dominic by the refreshments.

Father Dom was just who I needed to talk to. I pulled him and Jesse aside, away from prying ears, and told them what happened. Well, I left out the bit where Paul had threatened Jesse. That didn't need to become public news yet. Or at all.

"He's _here_?" Jesse exclaimed. "Susannah, why didn't you tell me?"

I ignored this and said to Father Dom, "I don't know what he's planning, but I have a feeling its not going to be good."

Father Dominic nodded. His hand was stroking his chin as he thought. "Susannah," he said, a little wearily, "the only thing we _can_ do is wait for Mandy to bring us some news."

I nodded, turning to Jesse. "Can you get me something to drink?" I asked with a smile.

Jesse looked at me suspiciously, knowing full well that I'm all about doing things for myself, that I don't _need_ a man to be at my every beck-and-call. But he just nodded, clearly seeing that there were some things I wanted to say to Father Dominic without him around.

So when Jesse was out of earshot, I laid it on Father Dom. "Paul threatened Jesse, Father D."

Father Dominic, for his part, did not look surprised. Although he didn't seem too happy about it. Nodding, he said to me, "Then we will have to come up with a plan." He looked around the room, at all of the drunken, dancing guests and said, "However, a wedding reception is hardly the place to discuss such things."

And that's how Jesse and I ended up in Father Dom's office at one o'clock, after my best friends' wedding. In my freaking maid of honor dress.

**- § -**

We finally trudged back to Jesse's hotel at three in the morning. I was beat. I had been up for almost twenty-four hours at that point. I was expecting to fall into bed and sleep like the dead (pun intended). But, alas, that did not happen.

As soon as I got through the door, I took my dress off and hung it on the back of the bathroom door. I had nothing on under it except for a pair of sheer boy-shorts (the miracle ones that show no panty-lines!). So, being a little modest, and not wanting to entice Jesse that night, I slipped the robe on. Although, it doesn't really take much to entice Jesse.

But to my surprise, when I walked into the bedroom, he was still sitting on the bed with his clothes on. I would have thought that he'd be stripped down to his boxers (yes, ladies, _boxers_) and lying in bed waiting for me.

He looked up when I came out of the bathroom and gave me a small smile. I know it was to reassure me, but it kind of worried me. What was wrong with him? Did Paul already do something, and while I was in the bathroom, no less?

"Jesse?" My voice was uncertain. I didn't really know what to say to make whatever he was feeling go away.

He patted the bed next to him, indicating that I should go sit there. I did, and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

I was about to ask him what was wrong, but before I could, he said, "Susannah, what are you hiding from me?"

I jerked away from him in surprise. "What?"

He just shook his head, then brought his eyes to my face, studying me. "I know he said something to you to really upset you, and it has nothing to do with Mandy. What is it?"

God, he really does know me well. Usually I would take that as a good thing, but right then, it wasn't. Its not that I didn't want him to know what Paul said, but…I didn't want him to have to worry. Though, I knew he wouldn't worry for himself, even though he would have every cause to.

Instead of lying, like I would usually do, I admitted defeat. Besides, I knew he wouldn't believe me if I denied it, anyway. So I told him exactly what happened, Paul's exact words.

Jesse was looking at me with concern. He was concerned about _me_ when someone had threatened _him_. I wasn't surprised, though. "Susannah," he whispered, bringing his hand up to caress my cheek. "Please don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

I leaned into his hand, keeping my eyes on his. "With any normal guy, you could, Jesse. But Paul…he's different. He can do things…things that I still can't do. And it scares me. He could…_shit_. He could do anything he wanted to you and I would be powerless to stop it."

Jesse pulled his hand away from my face, only to wrap his arms around me and pull me into him. He kissed the top of my head, one arm still wrapped around me, his other hand gliding up and down my side reassuringly. Only, it didn't really help. I was still crazy paranoid and afraid for him. But he would have none of it.

After a few minutes of that, he put me at arms length and said determinedly, "I can take care of myself, Susannah. You need to do what you have to do without worrying about me. So don't."

I nodded, but of course I still would. I just didn't want to disagree with him right then. Because it would lead to an argument, that much I knew. I wanted to say, "And what if the situation was reversed? You wouldn't listen to me if I told you not to worry." But I knew it wasn't necessary. I knew he was already thinking about that. That would be the argument instigator, so I kept it shoved inside my mouth.

Instead, I just leaned back into him, kissing him desperately, telling him that I loved him so, _so_ much. The fact that I didn't want to lose him remained unsaid, but it didn't go unnoticed. Jesse deepened the kiss, pushing me back on the bed and sliding over me. His knee came up between my legs, the fabric of his dress pants rubbing against the apex of my thighs. I moaned into his mouth , which was still ravishing mine. His face was rough from not shaving for a day; instead of the sandpapery feel bothering me, it only increased my sexual awareness. It seemed as if the roughness of his face and pants against me were moving in a certain, erotic rhythm.

Jesse's mouth moved to my throat, trailing hot kisses all the way down to the V in the robe. I clung to him, finally realizing that he still had most of his clothes on. I needed to rectify the situation immediately. I tugged at his dress shirt, untucking it from his pants and proceeded to unbutton it. My movements were fast and jerky, because I wanted it off of him as soon as possible. As soon as that was off, I reached for his belt buckle. Soon his pants, along with his boxers, were thrown somewhere in the room. And Jesse was completely naked. Cue the choir angels.

Jesse looked down at me with a wolfish grin. "This robe," he said, his voice husky, "needs to go." So it did. Then he realized I still had underwear on. "What's this?" he asked, fingering the seamless panties. "I can see right through them!" he said with a laugh. "Not much coverage there, huh?"

I grinned back at him. "For insatiable devils such as yourself."

His answer was to pull them off of me. I'm surprised he didn't rip them. Or maybe he did and I just didn't notice, since, as soon as they were off, he dipped one long finger inside of me. I gasped his name as he stroked me gently, slowly at first and then quickening. Before I had realized what he was doing, his hot mouth replaced his finger. My legs, of their own volition, wrapped themselves around Jesse, pulling his head and amazing mouth closer to me. I felt Jesse laugh and it traveled all the way up through my body. And that's what pushed me over the edge, that chuckle. I came, hands clawing the sheets, calling Jesse's name as my body shattered and pulsated.

My body was still shuddering when Jesse drove himself in me. He made love to me hard and fast; it was unusual, since he's usually so careful and tender. I couldn't think much during, but after, when he finally collapsed on top of me, sweating and breathing heavily, I figured out what was so strange about it.

It wasn't really his lack of control that surprised me; he's lost it many times before. It was the fact that it reminded me of that night we spent in the Hollandaise Inn, when we both thought it was the last time we'd be together. The lovemaking was so…desperate, is the only word that comes to mind. It was as if all of our fears poured out of us and into that one act.

Shaking my head slightly, I decided to push it out of my mind right then. It was too much for me to think about. My body was spent and my brain was quickly catching up.

Jesse seemed to recover a little, and he moved himself off of me, rolling over onto his side so he could look at me. I positioned myself on my side so I could face him. His hand came to my cheek, where he caressed it lovingly, all the while giving me an adorable smile.

"_Te amo, querida_," he whispered. The words felt like another loving caress as they wound themselves around my heart.

I moved in closer, wrapping my arms around him and snuggling into his chest. He rolled over onto his back, so I was lying on him. My arms squeezed him tighter as I whispered back, "I love you, too, Jesse. I don't ever want to lose you."

His hand came up, stroking my hair. "I swear to you that I will never leave you forever, Susannah. I will always be here for you." He dropped a kiss on the top of my head.

And I fell asleep in his strong arms, thinking about the future, wondering what troubles lay ahead for us, hoping that everything would turn out alright in the end.


End file.
